I think the "experts" have a lot wrong when it com

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Countess
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26 Sep 2010, 11:03 pm

This troubles me. I would like my son to have a better quality of life than I did.

The mere mention of the word "Autism" scares the hell out of nearly everyone I come into contact with. I don't get it. It's not scary, it's just different. It makes me very sad that people can't seem to appreciate our differences and find a way to allow us to be ourselves and still be useful.

Why do we have to sound like human train wrecks? Why do we have to appear to be brain dead to make sense to people? Maybe were not out in space. Maybe you're just boring? Maybe we believe that there is a reason for rules and think it's unfair to bend or break them because it really is? Maybe we don't want to waste time being friends with someone we don't have anything in common with? And why does no one consider that the representative motor movements we may or may not use actually have meaning for us too?

I always used to die inside when "professionals" would tell me my son was not imitating them like NT children did and apparently he should. He's not a mindless robot, he's a little boy. Maybe he thinks what you're doing is stupid or he doesn't like you? Or both? How many people do you see walking around and just deciding it might be fun to poke themselves in the nose? Yes, you would look at them like they were crazy just like my kid does when you tell him to do that. He may very well not only be smarter than you credit him as being, but smarter than you.

To me, to have AS is to be interested in not wasting time and preoccupied with what we consider to be meaningful tasks. If I were a monkey and needed someone to pull mites off me, maybe all this ridiculous social posturing that people do would make more sense. But I am not and it doesn't. Furthermore, people are more preoccupied with their own likes than they credit themselves with. If they weren't maybe it would be more pleasant to try to be friendly with others. You can have the same interests and backgrounds as a person, but they will want nothing to do with you because of some secret silent criteria list that you can't fit that has nothing to do with your personality. Unless you're genuinely funny 99% of the time. That seems to be the only magical "in" that works for everyone.



amaxim
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26 Sep 2010, 11:14 pm

I agree with you. I think there is ample evidence of the flaws in human society. To deviate from the norm, therefore, is not a sign of disorder, but a perhaps a sign of order in reaction to the disorder of the norm. I find it annoying to hear someone say: "Autism Spectrum Disorder". Because I do not think it is a disorder. I think the only disorder is in whatever institution classified these differences as a 'disorder', when it is not. A sign of the disorder of human society in general can be summed up in the fact that someone decides to call something a 'disorder' and it is assumed to be an unquestionable fact. It is not a fact, it is someone's subjective and possibly erroneous decision.

I agree with your points. I am continually very disturbed by the utter chaos that seems to run society. There is no order, and to seek order within it is called a 'disorder'. Seems very odd to me.



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26 Sep 2010, 11:16 pm

This happens to be a very rigid uniformitarian age, and heaven help the different.

Wife and I are somewhere on the spectrum, as are A and O. All four had varying degresws of trouble with family and school and society. Our son, mostly homeschooled, A and O's younguns, homeschooled so far - all I think somewhere on the spectrum, but brought up all of them in an understanding nurturing environment, all healthider happier than we were, and their young will be healthier still.

Ignore the naysayers - you should have heard my mother.



Countess
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26 Sep 2010, 11:30 pm

amaxim wrote:
I am continually very disturbed by the utter chaos that seems to run society. There is no order, and to seek order within it is called a 'disorder'. Seems very odd to me.


Yes! I agree with you completely. That is a perfectly sensible statement.



Countess
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26 Sep 2010, 11:33 pm

Philologos wrote:
This happens to be a very rigid uniformitarian age, and heaven help the different.


I agree, and it makes so very little sense as there are so many non-typical people in the general population. They can't get away with locking us up anymore, lol...



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27 Sep 2010, 12:07 am

That also pisses me off,as well.


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27 Sep 2010, 2:34 am

Thanks for the words of wisdom countess. Follow your intuition and good sense for your sons sake.



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27 Sep 2010, 7:11 am

I've been wondering lately if neurotypicality is the ultimate pandemic mental disorder. The vast majority of NTs are highly narcissistic, basing their judgments of others on whether they fit in with their own agendas. They automatically reject anyone they cannot manipulate for their own purposes and then either try to wash it over with 'fluff talk' or attempt to turn it on the rejected as their fault for not accepting the so-called status quo. When they aren't manipulating, they're brown-nosing the rest of the herd with no thought of whether their direction is right or wrong. It's like they have no identity of their own. It's astounding to me.

Hm. This sounds a bit harsh. I must be in a bad mood. :?


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ladyrain
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27 Sep 2010, 2:22 pm

Quote:
If I were a monkey and needed someone to pull mites off me, maybe all this ridiculous social posturing that people do would make more sense.


Great thoughts, Countess.



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27 Sep 2010, 2:34 pm

Standing [email protected]#% Ovation.


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27 Sep 2010, 3:04 pm

Such skills are important to be integrated with society. An ant colony wouldn't be near as successful if they could not communicate and work together. Autism is a problem with communication and social skills. I agree it's just different and the majority of the time autistic people have problems because of other people, but I can understand why someone would view it as awful. I think to really understand autism you have to either be autistic or have an autistic individual in your life, and even then it's no guarantee.



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27 Sep 2010, 4:14 pm

I just tell people this these days:

I realize I don't make a lot of sense to you. In the same way though, you and most other people in this world do not make sense to me. It's not that there is anything necessarily wrong with either of us. We just don't understand each other.

It is as if I might have grown up in an alien society, except that in reality I actually haven't. I do not, and cannot, perceive life as you do. The reverse is also true.

The best either of us can hope for is to try to understand each other.

And that's not easy for either of us, so please be patient. When it comes to patience, I have never had a choice. You though, do .


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27 Sep 2010, 4:38 pm

Then there is someone like me that doesn't seem to quite fit AS or NT, possibly caused by other disorders.

Like an aspie, I have trouble with social skills and I can spend hours engrossed in a topic of interest.

Like an NT, I can read facial expressions and body language and can look others in the eye.

A confused person in a world where I have not found anyone similar to me at all...

But part of the problem is that indeed people see me as disordered instead of just different, though I will admit my mood problems I would rather have medication than not.


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27 Sep 2010, 6:54 pm

I fully agree (especially with the "maybe you're just boring") part. Having autism has made me realize how shallow, phony, and narcissistic most people are.


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28 Sep 2010, 11:32 am

Countess wrote:
The mere mention of the word "Autism" scares the hell out of nearly everyone I come into contact with. I don't get it. It's not scary, it's just different. It makes me very sad that people can't seem to appreciate our differences and find a way to allow us to be ourselves and still be useful.


Well put!

Your son is lucky to have you, though; what really worries me is the horror many young people seem to have about their own autism (for instance, some of the people here on WP). My guess is that the people around them, parents, teachers, society in general, are making them feel bad and inadequate. Sometimes, I almost wonder if early diagnosis is really a "good" thing, though I guess I wouldn´t know.

I could go on and on about everything the experts have wrong, though....all the ridiculous stereotypes, for one thing....


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28 Sep 2010, 2:45 pm

Morgana wrote:

My guess is that the people around them, parents, teachers, society in general, are making them feel bad and inadequate. Sometimes, I almost wonder if early diagnosis is really a "good" thing, though I guess I wouldn´t know.

I could go on and on about everything the experts have wrong, though....all the ridiculous stereotypes, for one thing....


WP doesnt seem to be helping that much in this area, either.