Anyone else feel embarrassed/ashamed after a meltdown?

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No, I try to just move on from it.

I understood it up to the point what point? [/color]

Yes, I do.

I do, especially if it's for a reason that most people would find trivial. Fortunately I can often hold it off until it turns into a shutdown instead, which it seems like people don't even notice because I'm usually so quiet and withdrawn anyway. I really hate when I get the crying kind, which I can't hold off, in front of others - it draws attention I don't want and makes me look weak and fragile, which is the opposite of how I want people to treat me.

Yes to all this. I mostly manage to hold off or shift things into a shutdown, but the times I've lost it with witnesses I always hate it. One of my triggers is something most people find outright stupid, but it's situation-specific enough for the most part it only happens if people who already know about it are around.

I was punished for meltdowns (which only escalated them). So I guess so.

Yes. A meltdown is totally out of character for me. I wish I could leave the area. I never do return to several geographical areas where I've had traumas.

Sometimes.

Although I have panic meltdowns on occasion I wouldn't really call what I get meltdowns as much as I would call them episodes I guess. Basically when I get put in a stressful situation I get really nauseous and wretch. I am extremely loud when this happens and I am both ashamed and embarrassed. Part of the reason I suffer from depression is because of how I react to anxiety. I had to take college classes online because I couldn't leave the house, even now that I have graduated college I still can't leave the house and I have no clue how I am going to find a job or make any kind of money when I can't go outside without vomiting.

One approach would be to go outside by first opening the door and looking at it several times, and then venturing out a few paces, etc. A companion can help a lot if you have someone available. It is called progressive desensitization. One guy who had been homeless most of his life got into a panic when given a room of his own.
The other route is to work from home. One fellow I know repairs brass musical instruments and is doing fine, with a waiting list. If he wanted, he could do it all by mail and only deal with one music store clerk. If you answer an ad for "work from home" it will be piecework that will only pay minimum wage if you can mechanize it yourself. It might also be a total scam - don't pay for anything up front.

I do go out and no matter how much I leave the house I still have issues, I am a bit uncertain about working from home simply because every thing I have looked at in my area is either a scam or something I am unqualified to do.

That's why I recommend self-employment. If you can do the work, you are qualified, and if you are in charge, you can sometimes make a comfortable living.

Since I've been taking Sertraline I haven't had the meltdowns I used to have. When I used to have them, I would get so angry with myself, that I would hit myself in the face and head, as a way of ''punishing'' my brain for being wired this way. Also I would scream abuse at my family, and this understandably upset them. I felt like I was a crazy woman, and I didn't want my family to see me this way. Also the neighbours most probably heard me shouting, because my voice tends to carry when I'm frustrated, so that was embarrassing as well.

Having a panic attack and crying or perhaps arguing with family is not as embarrassing, as this goes on in most households, and a lot of non-Aspies have panic attacks, so I don't feel embarrassed about those either. I don't rock back and forth or go mute when having one of my panic attacks, I just struggle with breathing and verbally tell others how I'm feeling. Comfort from others helps me overcome my panic attacks the most, but being alone during a panic attack is horrible.

I feel like a 6 year old every time I have a meltdown, and it feels like the whole world knows I had one and it also feels like I've somehow brought down my family name too.

My meltdowns are excruciatingly painful. I end up crying for about a half an hour to 45 minutes with tears left, right and center and it's not pretty at all. It's bawling, bawling, bawling and more bawling. It's like screaming and crying all the same time. I'm sure it would be pretty painful to watch a grown man to be in that state but it's like I'm 6 years old and I just lost 10 of my best friends or something.

Every. Time.

Afterwards I have a piercing migraine and my eyes are incredibly sore and this pain will continue for about two days. Also I will feel like I've just run 10 marathons in a row because it leaves me completely and totally drained. I'm sure even amongst Autistics this is a fairly extreme meltdown. This happens about once a month. But crying for me is a regular event - I'm pretty unstable that way.

Meltdowns for me are usually because of events not going according to plan, my routines disrupted, overstimulation, victim of bullying at work, inconsideration from NTs, my incontinence not being taken care of properly, not enough shut down time, and general fed-upness with life.

I'm happy to find this thread - When I was a kid, and into my early 20's, I had impressive meltdowns. very destructive, a few broken bones, it wasn't a good thing. Some time around there I convinced myself that I'd gotten control because I have mostly managed to stop violent outbursts, but the after effects are still the same.
It's a complete loss of control. I feel like I can hold onto my dignity just about as well as if I'd publicly wet myself. It's usually a good 3 days till I can handle looking in the mirror without cringing.

I've made a few verbal assaults when I feel cornered and I need the person to back down. Totally out of character and very blunt, then it stops as fast as it began. I always apologize. I especially feel bad for the onlookers who can't believe what just happened.