why i think WP should be used in moderation.

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hyperlexian
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24 Oct 2010, 11:11 am

b9 wrote:
ediself wrote:
I have been on here for a short time only, but i have started feeling some detrimential effects in my day to day life, and i want to develop this in order to help other people avoid the trap i fell into.
In here, we discuss mostly AS related issues, we connect to each other, agree or disagree, but mostly we are bathing in AS culture. What we need to remember when we do this, is that as much as this is a safe place,it is also a place where we get accostumed to express our true selves, and forget that we can't just do this with the NTs we meet.


i feel more alienated on WP than i do in real life. in real life, i do not expect anyone to understand my curious ideas, and when i started on WP i did expect people to understand.

but on WP, everyone seems to be very interested in displaying their plumage, and in real life, people are just trudging along with their day.

there are so many things about myself that can not be conveyed in just my written words, and i have come to understand that here on WP, i am not seen for anything other than what i express in words.

the nuances of my personality, and the slight expressions on my face, and the things i choose to look at in the real world that attract people to want to look at me being me, are not conveyed here on WP, where only words can be seen.

i realized after a few months of being here, that a description is worth 1/1000 th of a real life experience with me.

people may say "hmmm...that was well worded", but they will never say "wow! i relate to the way you see the world because i see how your personality bends and stretches with the convolutions of daily experiences".

so i have almost retreated from WP, because it is a grind of words and phrases, and those that can stamp out a well worded post that captures their mood at that instant of time are the ones who will attract a following of people who are interested to hear what they will say next.

my mind is always in a flux state, and i can never state exactly what my personality is at any given instant, and so my posts are largely ignored.

WP has taught me that the real world is so much more promising of satisfaction derived from people who "know me", because all the time i have been on WP, all i have managed to do is write lots of stuff which is a snapshot of one aspect of me, and it is not very attractive to read because it is not a moving drama, but a slice in time.

in real life, i do not have to say anything. people look at me and they know the flow i am in, and they can flow with me.
i may screw my face up and shake my head and say nothing at something i see, but it will make many people who see me understand where i am coming from.

here on WP, i must write a long winded description of an instant in my flow, and if people like what i wrote, it means little because what i am thinking 2 seconds after posting it is a whole new story.

WP has taught me that the real world is so dynamic, and it contains the possibility of anyone ever really knowing me in the flow of time.
on WP, all people see of me is what i chose to write in one instant like a snapshot of a sequence.

anyway that is all i have to say about that in words, and the rest of what i feel will remain with me.

i understand what you mean, i think. but you are someone who i would be truly interested to know in real life, perhaps partly because i wonder how your words translate your inner or outer self. i always get a little excited to read what you have to say, and i miss you when you do not seem to be around. that probably sounds a little weird, but i don't know how else to be, besides honest and forthright. your words and opinions are of value to hyperlexian.


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richardbenson
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24 Oct 2010, 1:04 pm

im only using this website in moderation now. first of all i didnt notice this before but theres too many ads! its like half a board and sales pitch ads. i dont have fire fox, so i dont have ad block. also i dont agree with some of the other things going on here, like it always being changed. uhh and some other stuff, im not sending anymore donations so you can go ahead and remove my supporter tag



TB
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24 Oct 2010, 1:08 pm

Tequila wrote:
This forum is too depressing in anything more than small doses. MOPE, MOPE, MOPE.


agreed, but it is so addicting.



Moog
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24 Oct 2010, 1:19 pm

b9 wrote:
ediself wrote:
I have been on here for a short time only, but i have started feeling some detrimential effects in my day to day life, and i want to develop this in order to help other people avoid the trap i fell into.
In here, we discuss mostly AS related issues, we connect to each other, agree or disagree, but mostly we are bathing in AS culture. What we need to remember when we do this, is that as much as this is a safe place,it is also a place where we get accostumed to express our true selves, and forget that we can't just do this with the NTs we meet.


i feel more alienated on WP than i do in real life. in real life, i do not expect anyone to understand my curious ideas, and when i started on WP i did expect people to understand.

but on WP, everyone seems to be very interested in displaying their plumage, and in real life, people are just trudging along with their day.

there are so many things about myself that can not be conveyed in just my written words, and i have come to understand that here on WP, i am not seen for anything other than what i express in words.

the nuances of my personality, and the slight expressions on my face, and the things i choose to look at in the real world that attract people to want to look at me being me, are not conveyed here on WP, where only words can be seen.

i realized after a few months of being here, that a description is worth 1/1000 th of a real life experience with me.

people may say "hmmm...that was well worded", but they will never say "wow! i relate to the way you see the world because i see how your personality bends and stretches with the convolutions of daily experiences".

so i have almost retreated from WP, because it is a grind of words and phrases, and those that can stamp out a well worded post that captures their mood at that instant of time are the ones who will attract a following of people who are interested to hear what they will say next.

my mind is always in a flux state, and i can never state exactly what my personality is at any given instant, and so my posts are largely ignored.

WP has taught me that the real world is so much more promising of satisfaction derived from people who "know me", because all the time i have been on WP, all i have managed to do is write lots of stuff which is a snapshot of one aspect of me, and it is not very attractive to read because it is not a moving drama, but a slice in time.

in real life, i do not have to say anything. people look at me and they know the flow i am in, and they can flow with me.
i may screw my face up and shake my head and say nothing at something i see, but it will make many people who see me understand where i am coming from.

here on WP, i must write a long winded description of an instant in my flow, and if people like what i wrote, it means little because what i am thinking 2 seconds after posting it is a whole new story.

WP has taught me that the real world is so dynamic, and it contains the possibility of anyone ever really knowing me in the flow of time.
on WP, all people see of me is what i chose to write in one instant like a snapshot of a sequence.

anyway that is all i have to say about that in words, and the rest of what i feel will remain with me.


I like your posts, though I don't always say. I rarely read long posts, but yours are usually worth it.


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24 Oct 2010, 1:25 pm

I use this forum in moderation for one reason:

"Socializing" is extremely draining, even over the internet. I've participating in many message board forums over the years on various topics of current interest, and I've always found that, no matter who the posters are, the same crap keeps repeating itself, even among introverts. Any large group of people will eventually begin to display "extroverted behavior." They become as obsessed, if not moreso, with popularity, friends, ego, and strutting around like "social peacocks." This is even more true among socially frustrated individuals who discover that, when hiding behind a computer screen ,they can finally become the "jocks," "cheerleaders," and all-around "popular kids" they always longed to be, but never could be in real life. Introverts can be the absolute worst online.

Not trying to be mean, it's just what I've always experienced. I'm fairly down-to-earth and just want to write and discuss cool ideas with laid-back people, not play a bunch of social games and constantly worry that I've bruised someone's delicate ego. Unfortunately, just about everyone I meet takes life (and themselves) way too seriously, or secretly wants to become a "virtual popular kid." Ugh.

Therefore, I limit my exposure.


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Janissy
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24 Oct 2010, 5:20 pm

b9 wrote:
[people may say "hmmm...that was well worded", but they will never say "wow! i relate to the way you see the world because i see how your personality bends and stretches with the convolutions of daily experiences".

.


I haven't literally said, "wow! I relate to the way you see the world because I see how your personality bends and stretches with the convolutions of daily experience".

But that's mainly because that's your way of wording things and not mine, I simply wouldn't be able to think of those words. But I do think something like that. This is because you write in detail about your daily life and because you use unique metaphors. Your metaphors are so good at conveying a state of mind and a perspective that I frequently have the delusion that I understand you a lot better than I actually do.

I do get your point that what you write here is a tiny fraction of your actual life. No matter how good your metaphors are at conveying your mental state, they can still only convey a fraction of what is actually going on. And we can't see any non-verbals nor do we know anything that is actually going on in your life other than what you choose to describe.


But just because nobody here can get the total picture of you doesn't mean we aren't getting anything of you. Some of you does still come across, even if it's a tiny portion.



Severus
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24 Oct 2010, 5:44 pm

I am a recent member but so far I've had only positive experience being on WP.



Tory_canuck
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25 Oct 2010, 12:03 am

Immigrate to Canada. All medical records are sealed unless you sign a waiver for work or such. You would be safe to raise your kids here free of discrimination because in order for CPS to be onto you, there would have to be a complaint that you were abusing or neglecting your kids.

I don't spend as much time on WP as I used to. I am usually working or spending time with my NT friends.....or looking for work in the law firms so I won't have to push shopping carts anymore.


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ScottyN
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25 Oct 2010, 12:59 am

What Tequila wrote sums up my attitude about this thread. But where else but here is there going to be any understanding?



ediself
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25 Oct 2010, 4:09 am

Tory_canuck wrote:
Immigrate to Canada. All medical records are sealed unless you sign a waiver for work or such. You would be safe to raise your kids here free of discrimination because in order for CPS to be onto you, there would have to be a complaint that you were abusing or neglecting your kids.

I don't spend as much time on WP as I used to. I am usually working or spending time with my NT friends.....or looking for work in the law firms so I won't have to push shopping carts anymore.


Canada......huge frozen spaces, friendly and fun people, bears...seems nice, i had never thought about it.I might have to talk my husband into it though.......



b9
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25 Oct 2010, 6:55 am

hyperlexian wrote:
b9 wrote:
ediself wrote:
...etc....


....etc...

i understand what you mean, i think. but you are someone who i would be truly interested to know in real life, perhaps partly because i wonder how your words translate your inner or outer self. i always get a little excited to read what you have to say, and i miss you when you do not seem to be around. that probably sounds a little weird, but i don't know how else to be, besides honest and forthright. your words and opinions are of value to hyperlexian.


that is very nice of you to say.

Moog wrote:
I like your posts, though I don't always say. I rarely read long posts, but yours are usually worth it.


that is good to hear.

Janissy wrote:
b9 wrote:
[people may say "hmmm...that was well worded", but they will never say "wow! i relate to the way you see the world because i see how your personality bends and stretches with the convolutions of daily experiences".

.


I haven't literally said, "wow! I relate to the way you see the world because I see how your personality bends and stretches with the convolutions of daily experience".

But that's mainly because that's your way of wording things and not mine, I simply wouldn't be able to think of those words. But I do think something like that. This is because you write in detail about your daily life and because you use unique metaphors. Your metaphors are so good at conveying a state of mind and a perspective that I frequently have the delusion that I understand you a lot better than I actually do.


i think in my own metaphoric world much of the time. it is my way of viewing a complete process without becoming bogged in ramifications.

in my mind, i equate complex processes with simple systems that seem to magically unfold in the same way that the complex processes that they are systematically representative of do.


Janissy wrote:
I do get your point that what you write here is a tiny fraction of your actual life. No matter how good your metaphors are at conveying your mental state, they can still only convey a fraction of what is actually going on. And we can't see any non-verbals nor do we know anything that is actually going on in your life other than what you choose to describe.


i agree. to fully convey even one minute of my subjective existence would take more than a lifetime to type.


Janissy wrote:
But just because nobody here can get the total picture of you doesn't mean we aren't getting anything of you. Some of you does still come across, even if it's a tiny portion.

i know that is true.

i am not saying that i find this place useless, and i am not saying i lament the inadequacy of my depictions to portray me fully.

i was just responding to the OP who said they were kind of sucked in to this place as a superior alternative to real life, and their worry that they may become disinterested in the outside world because they felt that this place was like a home to their soul.

i know that people who see me and interact with me in real life know me much more than people who just read my words, but even then, they do not know what i am really thinking. their curiosity is greater because they can get signs and signals from me by simply watching me go about my way through the circumstances of my day.

when i first joined this site, i was very active and i posted long and detailed responses to many threads, but after a while, the threads i was interested to post in became fewer and fewer. after a while, threads asking the same questions cropped up again, and because i had already written pages of words about what i think about those thread topics earlier, i felt disinclined to rewrite my responses.

thread topics are recycled over and over here, and i do not bother to keep replying the same sentiment to new threads which are the same as threads which i answered in detail before.

i stay away from love and dating because anything i can think of to say would be cold and unhelpful.

i stay away from PPR because one can argue forever and never present a case that quashes further questions.

people like aristotle and plato spent their lives thinking and disseminating, and they have long gone to their graves, but the world is still as confused as ever.

i guess i just like this place to write stuff to when i am tired. it is like a diary that is inspired by other peoples inquisitiveness, and my words that i would otherwise forget are set in concrete once thy are written here.

i am rambling so i will find another thread now to talk to.