Hi
I made all the online tests and they all say, that I have AS.
It feels right, because it would explain everthing in my life.
But lets begin with my childhood:
I don't remember the first 3 years of my life, but my mom told me, that I was fascinated by water of all sorts and could stare at it for hours. She also told me, that I disliked to much touching.
When I was 4 years old, I went to Kindergarden. But I don't played with the other kids. I tried, but I didn't found it intresting enough to keep going with it.
Very soon the teacher there recognized that I had social problems, that I could not concentrate on most things and had problems with my fine motor manipulations.
So I have to go to several doctors and one finally told my parents that I have ADHS.
That explained the concentration problems and also some of my ''mood'' problems ( I was getting angry very often) but not the social problems and not why I made a big drama if my dad was late for dinner or simular situations.
At age of 6 I went to school. First it was ok, I found some friends, I don't played much like other children but it was ok.
But my teacher was extremely annoyed with me, because I could not concentrate on anything longer than 5 mins. except it was something I found interesting.
I liked reading and learned it very fast.
Soon I could read books without problems and quite fast. I also liked math a lot.
I hated art and music and later I hated french..
When I was at my 3th year at school it began getting worse. We moved to another village ( a drama for me). I was often bored and then did things like put worms in the shoes of my teacher and similar things. My teachers hated me. And my classmates started to bully me. They called me freak, strange and sometimes even retarted.
I wanted to make friends, but it just don't worked. I did not understand why, I asked my parents if something is wrong with me and they only said: No you are just a little bit excentric.
Then in 6th class it was very bad. I didn't had any friends, I was just the freak.
They stole my stuff, they hunted me on my way home, they shoved me into the pool at the back of the school building.
My mom went to school and talked with the teachers almost every month, but nothing changed.
It never changed, as long as I went to school.
I spent uncounted nights awake, asking myself what is wrong with me? Why does no one like me?
Why am I so fanatic of some things?
Why can't I be normal, go out and have friends like every girl?
The only thing that gave me strength were my dogs.
I got my first dog when I was nine, a rottweiler mix. I loved her and took long walks with her.
When I was twelve I got a Jack Russel Terrier. Whenever I was with them, I was happy. I decided very early, that I want to do something with dogs, when I'm older.
When they died, I wanted to die to. I stopped eating, I stopped talking, I just wanted to die.
Now I have a dog again and he is sun, moon and stars together for me.
When I first read about the symptoms of AS, I thought that the text was about me.
I started to read a lot about it and now I'm quite sure, that is the explanation for everything strange about me.
My obsession with dogs, my problems with people ( I never recognize if they are joking or not), the fact that I'm often rude, unintentional, the fact that I have no problem with beeing alone, the fact that I dislike changes so much, the reason for my problems at school, and so on.
It would just explain everything and it just fits to perfectly.
What do you think about my story?
Typical for AS?
27 Oct 2010, 8:35 am
