Can you admit you're wrong when you know you're wrong?

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Lace-Bane
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15 Nov 2010, 7:39 am

I'd be considered fairly stubborn, but if I see I did something incorrectly or see that I'm arguing about something stupid I catch on and admit it. Like for example I just found myself arguing about the logic behind a strategy for playing roulette. I mean it is 4:30am, but that's pretty stupid. I found myself trying to pass a point that I know how to play with a 48.48% chance of winning with 32x the winning number's bet if it is selected. I quickly realized how stupid that sounded and just admitted that my logic behind that was pretty off... Even if the math was correct (Which I'm not sure since I feel the effects of staying up til 4:30am about now) that's a pretty bad thing to argue. It would be like saying "Hey, I only lose half the time!" :lol: I was wrong because I was arguing as if it was a good way to gamble :oops:

I was just wondering if there are other aspies out there who are okay with admitting to being wrong. Also can you laugh at yourself if you were really off on the mark?



Last edited by Lace-Bane on 15 Nov 2010, 7:55 am, edited 2 times in total.

Adamantus
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15 Nov 2010, 7:41 am

It's definitely a tough one. I like to think I am rational enough to find the truth whether I am right or wrong.



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15 Nov 2010, 7:45 am

of course...i think it's saying they are wrong when they in fact really believe they are right that NTs do better than us...



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15 Nov 2010, 7:54 am

If I screw up I generally admit the fact. No point trying to deny it - it would just make me look even worse. I found this generally the case in the working environment. If I did something wrong by accident that I knew would have bad consequences then I would mention it to my boss and tell him what I planned to do to rectify the matter. No point trying to cover anything up - it makes matters worse.

The only time I don't tend to admit I'm wrong is if the other person is a "point scorer" i.e. someone who likes to play political games and one-upmanship and who would treat my admission of a mistake as a weakness for them to exploit. I don't like those sort of people and try to avoid them.


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MONKEY
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15 Nov 2010, 7:59 am

Very reluctantly :lol:


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Severus
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15 Nov 2010, 8:02 am

Most often I admit on the spot that I've been wrong.
Though, if I am arguing with a particularly unpleasant person, I might try to defend my point, even if I know I am wrong. Happens rarely though.



leejosepho
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15 Nov 2010, 8:31 am

I have always told my employers they will hear it from me first if/when I make a mistake and/or do something wrong, but I do not claim to have *always* done that. In any case, however, telling lies and believing that is good is delusional, and I am not delusional!


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15 Nov 2010, 8:39 am

Only if I REALLY REALLY know.

If I have any uncertainty I'm unlikely to "admit" to anything. I like to reason and figure it out. I don't understand how people can be so easily persuaded by others to change their minds(look at how quickly the public changed their mind on Obama or on healthcare). A lot of people act like they are robots programmed by society and the media. I also don't get how insults or drama is supposed to convince people to change. All that does is intimidate people. If that does make them change they haven't truly changed subconsciously, they are just convincing themselves to adopt an opinion because they're afraid. I've read about this phenomenon, it's called "preference falsification". On a society-wide level when "preference falsification" suddenly breaks down it causes revolutions, a change reaction as a small, loud group of people shows people there are "others" who are upset with the status quo, people examine their deep feelings, realize they've been lying to themselves, and the more people do this the more it gets other people to do it too to the point where you get people who genuinely like the old society but lie to themselves that they're for revolution because everyone around them will like them better, starting yet another form of "preference falsification".

I seem unable to do that. I can't lie to myself about my own beliefs. I can lie about my beliefs to others, but I've always known what I really thought.

Gradually I'm finding myself more and more able to "admit" things when there's on real consequence to myself of doing so just to get people to shut up. Some arguments are pointless.



j0sh
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15 Nov 2010, 8:54 am

It takes a LOT of convincing for me to recognize that I'm wrong. If someone wins that battle, then I'm gracious enough to give them their prize, and admit I was wrong. :afro:



zer0netgain
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15 Nov 2010, 8:57 am

I can admit when I'm wrong.

I hate doing it, though.

A big part of it is how I was oppressed all the time as a kid...nothing I ever did, no matter if it was right or not, was always "wrong."



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15 Nov 2010, 9:02 am

If I'm wrong I'm wrong, no point denying facts.



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15 Nov 2010, 9:09 am

Only if I'm not in the middle of an argument with someone who is telling me I'm wrong. I have this aversion to taking advice from anyone on anything, and "anything" includes whether or not I am correct.
Once I've cooled off, I can usually go back, apologise, and admit to being wrong.


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15 Nov 2010, 9:44 am

Right and wrong are subjective value judgments. Rarely is ANYONE fully right or fully wrong in any given situation (criminal behavior excluded, of course). I will definitely adjust my thinking when confronted with contradictory information if I can conclude that information has greater validity than what I am using.

Where I run into problems is that NTs seem to think being right or wrong is important, so if you make a 'mistake', you need to feel some sort of remorse. Most often, in my mind, there is no mistake on some moral level, only bad conclusions based on faulty information. I often feel no remorse for mistaken thinking or actions because I refuse to accept there is something wrong with ME that caused the mistake when in fact it was just insufficient or wrongly interpreted information. Because I am so matter of fact about mistakes, and I don't show the "correct" level of remorse or humility, I am seen as arrogant. This is NOT true because I hold all people to the same standards as I hold for myself. A mistake is a simply mistake, not necessarily a character flaw. I also run into problems because people hate having mistakes pointed out because they often personalize them. Even little things "like the pie crust is too dark" is taken as a personal attack rather than an objective evaluation to "what did you think of my pie?". The correct answer is "It tasted really good" but the question wasn't "How did my pie taste?".

This is NOT the same as apologizing to someone for doing or saying something that might have been hurtful to them. In the case of the pie, if I happen to figure out that "the crust is too dark" was a bad answer, then I'm inclined to say something that would attempt to ease the bad feelings created by my literal interpretation of the question "What did you think of my pie?"



Lace-Bane
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15 Nov 2010, 9:48 am

For me I don't see anything wrong with admitting to being wrong. Usually it isn't another person winning an argument over me, but me over analyzing what I'm actually saying (when in an argument). If I realize what I'm saying is wrong I generally just admit to it as if I made a mistake. It's less about them winning and more about me not trying to fight for something I no longer believe. When you try to fight for something you don't feel strongly for you leave weak points in your argument which are very easy to exploit for the other person in the conversation. This usually makes me backpedal when trying to continue on... so I've learned it's best just to admit to being wrong to avoid looking like a fool. I may take it a step further sometimes and make a joke about it before I leave, but that's just something I do on occasion if I'm actually laughing at myself in the end.

The truth is it isn't the other person winning an argument over me usually... I feel like I've sabotaged the argument for myself by over analyzing it. I could probably try and drive the point further, but I don't see the point. Even if I were to drive the point to win the argument it would technically be a false victory anyway. Really anyway I also feel it makes me seem a little more rational to let things go.

It could be said that I've mellowed out though. In the past I wasn't so quick to admit my faults and would try to hold my ground even when I knew I was wrong. I'm not sure what changed in such a short amount of time though :?



Last edited by Lace-Bane on 15 Nov 2010, 10:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

FluffyDog
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15 Nov 2010, 9:48 am

Most of the time, I will admit my being wrong, even though I don't like it. To be more precise, I like the fact that I'm wrong even less than admitting it.

With some people though, whom I don't really like all that much or who refuse to admit that they might possibly be a little bit wrong when I have already picked their arguments apart to tiny little pieces, I find myself reluctant to admit my own mistakes and usually only do so in order to prevent a verbal fight from getting out of hand.


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15 Nov 2010, 9:55 am

I can but people always find a way to call me an a**hole even when I'm apologizing or admitting fault.