Love is blind

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There is nothing special about me other then my 'special status'.

My fears, inhibition, ocd, and social incometence have put me into complete isolation with nothing but a laptop and wifi conection. I have no job, no money, disability was rejected, unemployment was rejected, i dont have anyone to talk 2 about this, i was looking into suicide to end this all but the countless hours of watching shows on hauntings basically prooves your personality dosent end at death, there are recordings of ghosts answering questions of NTs!

So now if i commit suicide, it would not end my concious, now i really dont knw what to do, life or whatever it is after death is a eternal phenomenon, and i dont beleive in religion, there can be a god, but one who does not interfere with te universe, so i really dont know what to do, the isolation really starts to F with you after year 2.

Last edited by Morph500 on 20 Nov 2010, 3:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.

The difficulty of this particular problem is being away from the very people who would otherwise help you solve the problem.

Human beings can not exist in isolation. It's going to be difficult and awkward trying to integrate back into society but it's necessary. I've been there, and the thought of dying and nobody being at my funeral made me realize it's not just me who's losing out through being isolated, but all those other people who I might otherwise have touched or helped or shown some kindness to in some way. In many ways realizing this was the only good thing to come out of all that isolation.

It's like Jesus said: every tree must bring forth fruit. If you light a candle you don't hide it behind a bush where nobody can see it, but you put it high up so everybody can benefit. It's the same with people -- we all have something to offer to this world, to contribute in some way, and we need to at least try to do that.

Beautiful words Combo

And just who might those people be?!


Are you sure, or might you just be caught up in some feel-good philosophy?

As for disability, as I understand it they routinely reject close to 100% of all applications received. You have to go through the appeals procedures, and they also routinely reject most of those. This is a deliberate tactic by the government to kill as many poor/disabled people as possible before they have to be given any money, although they'll deny it (yet it is obvious). Only after it gets to the end state of a lawyer getting involved can you expect to see results. You should be able to get a lawyer to take your case for a percentage of the final award, or you may qualify for Legal Aid programs.

You have to advocate strongly and tirelessly for yourself to get anywhere with bureaucrats, which is hard to do when you'd rather cease to live. Advocating means networking with other humans with the ability to assist you; crisis hotlines, churches, food kitchens, and homeless outreach services are all sources of information about qualifying for financial assistance. Having internet is extremely helpful, but you also need a telephone and transportation to get to appointments. You didn't say how you were now living with no income or how long you'd continue to have a roof over your head and food, at the minimum.

On a strictly technical level, killing oneself has only about a 20% chance of success per serious attempt. The other 80% of attempts merely damage you either temporarily or permanently and get you locked up in psyche wards.

no i think he is right about this. the problem being that sometimes, nobody cares about what you have to offer, it's not good enough for them. or: you think it's so worthless that you don't even try to offer it, because it would make you feel like giving a present you took from the trash. So that feel good philosophy makes sense: try to offer what you have, let it be known that there is something in you and MAYBE someday someone will see it and love it.

I certainly agree with trying to offer whatever one does have to offer, but not everyone actually does have something to offer unless we think of the most needy among us offering opportunities for others of us to care for them. And, my own experience in life has shown that hope-so idea of "MAYBE someday someone will see it and love it" to have been little more than a lot of false hope along the way. I still would have done what I have done, of course, but I think few people are as inclined to do something "just because" ...and I think it unreasonable to ask them to do so.

I know who the OP is. Let me know in a PM if and when you guys figure out.

it sure is. i am full of love and yet i can see no love.

Hey, Corp. How is it going?