Aspergers sucks....................

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I am so f*****g tired of aspergers. I can appear socially normal enough.


I CANT GET A DAM DATE BECAUSE I cant figure out how to ask a girl out.







end rant

Just ask her.

If you do it with sincerity, sometime awkwardness is endearing.

In my experience, girls, especially the younger ones, look for every flaw and are so judgmental. One little appearance of awkwardness, you're already considered creepy. You do just about ANYTHING it's considered creepy. This is probably the one primary reason why me and others with autism or Aspergers have a hard time getting a girl. I've never dated in my entire life and I'm 19 years old...I'm still looking. You're sure not the only one here.

HA HA HA! Sounds like 100% of all the young men I have ever known.

IOW what does aspergers have to do with this?

Aspergers has a lot to do with this. Social impairment plays a big role in appearance and how you come off to somebody. People seem to automatically right that off as being creepy, despite the fact that, that isn't your intent.

Just ask. The worst she can do is say no. If she says no, then it's her loss for not getting to know you. You seem to be a decent guy; if she doesn't see that, then she's not good enough for you.

If it helps, here is a possible conversation for you:
You-hi
Girl-hey
You-what's up?
Girl-nothin' much
You-so...do you have plans (insert date day)?
Girl-no
You-do you maybe want to go see a movie with me then?
~~~~~~~~~
If she says yes, make plans-where, what time, etc.
If she says no, then don't worry about it. You'll find someone who can see you're a good person and who will take the time to get to know you better.

You don't ask someone out. You get to know them.

I barely even think about dating anymore. Tried it once, was horrible and at my functioning level I'm not likely to do it again.

People hook up at parties or through friends of friends. Now there's two things that people with AS struggle with so try to get a little better at making friends and going to parties. A lot of people with AS hate drinking too which will slow down the dating process.

Every time I talk to people I sound like a 6 year old and not bright 6 year old at that, so I really don't care about communication with them at the moment.

You're only young. don't be disheartened. My mum says it's better to wait and get the right person (In my case a guy because I am a girl...) than to go chasing people only to get the wrong one. I can understand how frustrating it is because I too have felt like I REALLY want a boyfriend, but I am starting to think I just want a boyfriend because it is 'normal'. Plus, at the age of 22, I am finally going into my teenage development! (Well I do have a developmental disorder!)

_________________
I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )

Asperger's is what you make it. I make it to be a positive thing in my life. You might see things different from me, but I don't see it as a life sentence.

Smile

For me, the problem is that I don't know what to talk about with the opposite sex. 'Going out' seems pretty useless to me also because it only requires socializing.
It seems like I only have sexual attraction to the opposite sex, and no emotional as most of the people seem to have.

Younger women thinking guys are weird and those that are judgemental is the reason why I prefer older women. You get more sense from them.

aspergers doesn't suck anywhere as much as asparagus.

My wife and I developed our friendship for years before we got romantically involved.
I recommend that approach over "dating" any day.

Asperger's doesn't suck so much as dating sucks.

I like the show Little People Big World. There was an episode this season that featured the twins going to a class on how to date. Zach doesn't like to small talk, so the class was for him. His twin brother went along for support. The students had to go into the grocery store downstairs and hand a card with their name and phone number to two people. They didn't have to ask a person out or anything, just hand over the card. It was a great way to get started! It makes it easier because it doesn't involve introducing yourself or anything anxiety producing. That small step, even if not successful, can lead to bigger steps, like actually asking someone out instead of just lending a card.
Zach had tremendous difficulty just getting started. He didn't want to give his cards to anyone. The anxiety can be overwhelming, but if you can just bring yourself into doing that one thing, other things could be easier to transition into and you could be meeting all kinds of people and making all kinds of friends in the long run.

It sure does.