dinner party dilemna

Post Reply New Topic

Ok so I just started a new job for this company. It is based in an office, but most people have their own rooms where they do their work, so I don't see everyone at once.

There is a holiday office party comin up sometime before christmas, and the company is very small, and I am having serious doubts and anxieties about going.

The invitation card said my name + a guest.

I do not have anyone to bring. I do not know any girls. I think the "guest" is most commonly expected to be a date. Even if I could bring a friend, I wouldn't want to. Besides looking gay, I would be way too weird to bring any of them even if they did want to go.

I don't want to go alone. There are no girls my age that work at this company. There is one other junior staff member who I work with and get along with who if I did go, would be my default and possibly my crutch interaction.

If I don't go, it is going to show, because it is a very small company, and I might be outcast. It is mostly older people in their 30s 40s and few in their 50s, but I know that I need to "fit in" and be in good standing or else it hurts my chances of staying employed.

I really don't want to go, and I know I shouldn't care, but I feel like If I do care about my job (which I do), then I need to go or else I am jeopordising my position.

Why do office parties exist? Work should just be work unless it is mutual agreement to mix friendship/socializing outside of work. WTF

Just go. If its a small company they probably aren't gonna be too hard on you. Don't worry about not having a guest if you don't have a significant other.

you could bring a puppy? Everyone likes puppies. might want to ask first though

anyway, just go...show up, say hi to everyone, and if no activities are planned then eat free food and slip out the door when no one is looking.

a guest in this case is not required.

I know the feeling. You don't need to bring a guest -- the invitation mentions this just so people can bring their significant others if they wish. If you go, sometimes these things don't turn out as bad as expected. I think we just prefer activity-oriented socials, so if there's a programme/entertainment it makes things much easier. The back up could just be to talk to your friend for a little while, eat, and leave early. You can also show your face, eat, then spend most of the time in another part of the building away from everyone. Not going is obviously another option but if it's a small company it's really not a good idea as people may eventually stop seeing you as one of them/part of the team.

Guest is - as already said - not an issue. If it was me, I would go, I would hang out around the eats, I might keep an eye on where in the room the one person I knew was, might hang listerning to a conversation if there was an interesting one.

Often there is a corner where the less socially involved can sit quietly.

Then I would be 2nd or 3rd to leave, with a thank you to the host if there is an official person in charge.

That's me.

When I got to something like this then I usually hangout by the food to enjoy the cost-free snacks. It's good for the budget. And also listen to random conversations. Sometimes something interesting to hear arises. You can always make up an excuse beforehand for why you need to leave early in case it's too boring.

As has been said, you don't need to bring a guest.

You do, however, have to go. DO NOT SKIP THIS PARTY!! Being there is more important that being at work the next day. Really. Why this is true, I don't know, but it is. You don't have to enjoy yourself, you don't have to stay long, but you do have to show up. If they have any kind of presentation, you need to stay until it's finished.

You don't have to speak to the high muckety-mucks, but you do need to ensure that you are seen by them. It's all about "networking," and while you might not be good at doing it actively, you need to make them think you're a team player and all that crap.

Keep in mind that, while your co-workers may socialize with each other more than you so, they probably aren't close friends. Most conversation at these things is centered on work-related topics, so be prepared to discuss what you do, and listen politely to others talking about what they do. DON'T b***h about work, even if someone else starts first! (kinda obvious, but easy to forget).

Enjoy the food. Good luck!

I absolutely loathe the work party when significant others are present. I've found it's best to just go alone and bare it for as long as necessary (I believe someone else suggested slipping out the door when no one was looking). Then have a nice stiff drink when you get home

so yeah I went....it was actually pretty fun. BUT I think that mostly was due to the fact that I had a few drinks and so did everyone else. It seemed like most people were having fun and it was in a really nice hotel restaurant with good food.

All older people maybe a couple or two in their 30s and only 1 other guy my age.

There were some awkward moments as to be expected.

In all honestly it was kind of those disorienting moments for me were I was thinking "where the hell am I? What am I doing here?"

But overall it was tolerable and maybe a bit fun. But that was probably the drinks.....