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jammie
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26 Jun 2006, 10:34 am

Back in 5 min:

Take my hand follow me in.

Hi am me, I am right this second 16. if this ends up going anywhere then i am probably not 16 anymore by the time you read this. I could be twenty, i could be 18. hopefully i will be 23 or 19 or 29.

Now, about me. Hard to think of anything so i will describe. Right now i am looking through my eyes (which are blue) at the LCD PC in front of me, at open office typing this. Now, if you were the dead pixel in the corner and you were looking at me lets see what you would find.

First you would see a person. He is male. He has long curly hair – he doesent like getting it cut, the sounds hurts his ears. He is wearing a hoddie. The hoddie of a light shade of brown. It is the same color as a lion (Panthero Leo). He is sat on the end of a bed, he is sat crossed legged. And touching his chest, and between his arms is lion.

He has glasses – he is wearing his green spare pair right now because he threw his other pair yesterday when he was angry – he also has dum dum in his mouth.

From his ears you can see two wires. They lead to his headphones. Thus they lead to his PSP which is currently playing a song. The song has been on repeat for about an hour. He like the headphones they do lots of thing, but most off they block out all the sound, all the spinning sound, all the level of sound the smashes of the keys, the shift of the bed, the rub of arms on cloth, the sound of doors, off trees. Of course he cannot hear this right now, he has his headphones in.

The song is on repeat. The repeat is important, he knows the song. The repeating of the song is a constant. And environmental constant he has created. In all the variables he has define himself a constant. It make him feel safer.

He looks into the screen and continues to type. He follows the words from the screen, they are describing him, they as he types are going in a 3 dimensional circle through who is reading this and back though him into the input of the computer.

At this point He thinks about this circle. He types into the keyboard a message. The message reads “in reading this you are in my circle. I shall show you more”

He repeats the precess of typing, he looks at his finger striking the keys. He cannot hear them, but he assume the shock wave passing through the materials, and into the air. He looks at the keyboard, it is plastic. He knows as it is plastic is is made from oil in a process called polymerization. In this process alkene monomers join together into long chains to create the plastic. He know tease chain contain only hydrogen and carbon. And the monomer which make it up have a carbon carbon double bond and as the are alkene the follow the general formula of CXH2x.

He pauses for about 11 seconds. He write a full stop, and then he looks closer. He takes him mind off of the world in which his world lies and instead define his new world. He looks into his monitor. He sees in front of him the very person reading this. Together they are siting opposite each other inside this circle. The person reading this, instantaneously occupies two areas. He thinks of this and he think this is beautiful. He move himself slightly closer to the computer,he move his body from side to side. He feels the palm of his feat on the cold end rail of his temporary bed.

He take his hand off of the keyboard for a few moment he storks lion he tilts to one side and he listened to the music playing in his headphones. He move into his thinking.

He looks strait at the computer screen he looks start at the word in pixel form. He know tease words in there final representation will be looking in the face. But for now he is happy to look into the words. He is looking at the person who is occupying the circle with him.

Sat opposite he lift his hand. He pulls lion closer to his chest and he beacons the person reading words from the page which come from the screen which is made of pixels. He looks around this space. This room. He looks at this text. As it very grows coming with him.

Around him he see the moons change around in order, he blinks. He thinks he pulls out from his mind his polarimeter, the text. The person reading it and the second person who it passes though are engulfed in this world now.

Looking past the text and the person he see the space lotus hanging in the vacuum. He sits, and feels the blue haze of the perimeter roll into the lotus.

He hugs lion close and he feels his world move around him. He feels it move around all in this perimeter. The soft room passes through them. Billowing though like a mirror of haze, around the edge of the world the haze glows.

Moving further into it, the haze engulfing the text, the reeder of the text and He he stops in his main base for lion time.

He gazer's around he is inside his mirco-sensory-tent. He sees the light flare and he look at the text. He know the text is getting longer he wonder how though then he relives the atoms of his finger still interfacing with the atoms of the Carbon and hydrogen.

He has not to look, but he knows. In this Place He always knows. The person who is in two places at once inside the circle is not sure what is happining.

He and lion move onto a big beanie bag, and then curl up Lion around He HE around Lion.

The light scorched on above the two and the one. There is no sound there is only light from the lights. There is no feeling there is only soft. Soft he feels his soft benie bag he feels it hugging around him. He feels it warm. Lion warm. A warm hug from lion and warm support from below.

He snuggles with lion. He follows the the feeling of how he long for this feeling. Everyday. How he longs for it how he wants it, but he knows he cannot have it. The world in Which he is pulled does not have a way for you to snuggle with something wrapped around you. Here He can.

He quickly passes through thoughts of life. Of touch, he Feels the touch of hands. On tha back of his head. On the side of his body. Against his back. He remember the sreams the shouts of evil. He remember the silence. He rolls onto his other side and he draws a feeling from lion. Tease feeling ulled through the soft of the beanie bag into it. Another small lump of comfort.

He knows when touched the feeling spike though him. When released he long for the touch. He long for the thing which make him feel warm. In the pushed world he sits in the pressurized water washer and he long for the warm to enter though his body.

Back in the haze aboard the space lotus he feel this, his longeing ends he hears nothing. He think nothing his can feel all the pressure drooping he can feel all his inners becoming one.

With an energy He lift his head in one move he has deposited what he must and he moved through this text to the the reader through the reader and back to He

Describing Him is Hard.

He leave. He has had his lion time.


_________________
<?php

$lion = "constant";
$lil_lion = "escape";
$baby = "dum dum, babo";
$jammie = $lion."sheepy and my comforts";


$jamie = $lion.$lil_lion.$baby.$jammie;
?>


hyper_alien
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27 Jun 2006, 9:44 am

It is ok Jammie,

everything will work out eventually.


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TigerFire
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27 Jun 2006, 11:52 am

Jamme I hope thing are working out for you. Things will be better.


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renaeden
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29 Jun 2006, 4:15 am

I didn't understand it much (because I'm thick) but I thought it well written just the same.
I also don't understand people wishing well. If that's what you need right now, jammie, then I wish it too.



Jetson
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29 Jun 2006, 6:34 am

I don't know about "pressurized water washer", but I really enjoy sitting in a jacuzi now and then. I like it when they are warm but not too hot so I can stay in for a long time.

I have an electric pressure washer that I use for cleaning the dirt off my house and car but it's quite dangerous. Last time I was washing the mildew off the cedar deck and I lost all the feeling in my toes for an hour or two. I don't know if I actually sprayed my feet with water or if it was just the constant vibration of the hose and deck that made me numb. I was wearing sneakers, which is good. 2500 PSI on bare skin would cut like a knife. The nice thing about washing with the pressure washer is that it takes a long time, so I can put on my raincoat and walkman and escape for as long as I want.

I try not to imagine people reading my messages as if they were behind my LCD. That would be almost as bad as looking into a mirror and making eye contact with myself.

I know all about snuggling with the lion, although in my case it's not a lion. I certainly don't want people touching my head when I'm wearing my walkman. It's bad enough that I'm always imagining insects and spider webs on my skin when they aren't really there.

Funny thing about music. I don't use the repeat mode on my players. Instead I treat the entire playlist as a very long repeat because I haven't changed the files in probably two years now. Whenever one song ends I know what's coming next and that comforts me. I can't use the Microsoft Media Player for music because the playlist isn't sorted. I can't stand to listen to music if I don't know what song is next. Shuffle is completely out of the question.


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jammie
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29 Jun 2006, 7:01 am

hiya,

pressurized water washer is the shower. i hate water! i really like my headphones up loaud so it blocks out and controls the sound.

i love lion alot, i wouldent function at all without him.

I don't know why people were writing messages of comfort, this wrote itself while i was having lion time.

Also i don't see the eye looking at me from the text, i acknolege the fact that this text is going to you eyes, and that makes it some sort of connection.

I hate mirrors

jammie


_________________
<?php

$lion = "constant";
$lil_lion = "escape";
$baby = "dum dum, babo";
$jammie = $lion."sheepy and my comforts";


$jamie = $lion.$lil_lion.$baby.$jammie;
?>


TigerFire
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29 Jun 2006, 7:31 am

I hope you'll have enough lion time.


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renaeden
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30 Jun 2006, 10:40 pm

I am guessing we all have our own sort of lion time.
I liked the way you wrote about yours, jammie. :)



alexa232
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01 Jul 2006, 1:58 pm

renaeden wrote:
I am guessing we all have our own sort of lion time.
I liked the way you wrote about yours, jammie. :)


so did I.