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horsegurl4190
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19 Jul 2012, 7:32 pm

So I am one of those aspies that wants to be independent and has no interest in a long term relationship with a guy. However, at the national seashore where I work there is a lifeguard I have a huge crush on. We both started working at the national seashore last summer and our jobs are only summer jobs and we both returned this summer. I don't know how to react to this because I normally don't have these feelings for any guy. I mean I have a lot of guy friends, but I don't feel like this about any of them they are just friends. This guy I can almost see more than just friendship with, but I still don't really want a committed relationship. Help what should I do?



Last edited by horsegurl4190 on 19 Jul 2012, 7:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

InThisTogether
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19 Jul 2012, 7:35 pm

You can just date if he is amenable. It isn't as if there are only two options: friends or forever-glued-together-partners. Spend time with him and enjoy his company. Then when the summer ends, happily go your separate ways. There is nothing wrong with that.



Echo1030
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19 Jul 2012, 7:54 pm

Cape Cod NSS (I'm a Caper as well)? Anyways, that's irrelevant. Just date. Have fun, enjoy each other's company. Doesn't have to be serious... summer romances are fun....and I think a better opportunity for learning more about yourself.



Ilka
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19 Jul 2012, 8:04 pm

I will tell you what I tell my daughter: if you really, really like the guy, then try to be his friend. Try to be near him, talk to him, invite him to have a coffee, or to the movies or something. Try to know him better. Maybe when you know him better you will feel different, or maybe he will feel different about you... You need to try and find out.



horsegurl4190
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19 Jul 2012, 8:16 pm

Echo1030 wrote:
Cape Cod NSS (I'm a Caper as well)? Anyways, that's irrelevant. Just date. Have fun, enjoy each other's company. Doesn't have to be serious... summer romances are fun....and I think a better opportunity for learning more about yourself.


I work at Assateague Island National Seashore, but hey it is also a barrier island and in the NPS. What is your position at the park? I am a GS-04 Park Guide and my position is directly dealing with the conservation and management of the feral horses on the island. Do you have any advice on how to bring up the subject of me really liking him to him? I'm terrified at the thought of approaching him with that kind of info. This is the kind of situation where social anxieties can be crippling. I don't have his number, but I would probably be able to tell him in a txt if I did. That would be very impersonal, but it would make things more comfortable for me. Ugh I just have to toughen up at get over that fear and tell him face to face when an opportunity presents itself.



InThisTogether
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19 Jul 2012, 8:25 pm

Personally, I wouldn't just come out and say "Hey, I like you." Not F2F and not by text.

I would just approach him the same way you would any of your other guy friends. Just strike up a conversation of some sort. Find something you have in common. Ask if he wants to get together for lunch.

I am very bad with small talk. If this happens to be the same for you, what I do to help myself is to come up with 5 different topics that you might share interest in and just imagine yourself talking about them. Whenever I have to be in a group of people I don't know, I usually have 3-5 topics "recently rehearsed" so that I will be able to think of things to say.

Good luck.



CockneyRebel
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20 Jul 2012, 12:14 am

I agree with what Ilka said. 8)


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