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This probably would normally belong in the love and dating section, only 1.)I'm not allowed to post there, 2.)It's a cesspool in general.

I sent this girl a message a few weeks ago saying something along the lines of "I have to be honest, while I find you attractive, you sound way too social for me." So she sent a message back saying "What makes you think that?"

We chatted for a while...I explained the symptoms without going out and saying Aspergers. Kind of described myself as quirky like Niles or Danny Tanner (Bob Saget) in Full House. She wanted to meet me anyway, gave me her number, seemed very interested.

So we meet and she's making good eye contact and everything, but leaves after 10 minutes, saying this is what she does, but to touch base.

Keep in mind, I knew what that meant. Even though it said on her profile that she likes to keep first dates very brief and more of a meetup, I knew that I wouldn't be hearing from her and was fine with that...she'd sent misleading pics anyway and looked about 10 years older than she said she was (she said she was 27 but had the skin of someone who'd been smoking for a lifetime) and personality wise I wasn't feeling it much anyway.

What has me concerned is if it was an Asperger/social anxiety thing. The last girl I dated regularly a couple months ago said right away she could tell there was "something"...not necessarily Aspergers...but she didn't care...(keep in mind she was also very nerdy, like a genuine nerd with a slur, not a hipster nerd)...but I'm wondering if this woman immediately spotted "something" and wanted to find a way to leave.

If she just wasn't physically attracted or could tell after a few minutes of conversation that I wasn't her type, that's fine, that happens...but I guess it's in my head now, for future online dating. And you can't say "Aspergers" before meeting someone...especially in my case where it isn't like it's at levels like the guy in the movie Adam.

I don't think L&D is a cesspool. Why are you not allowed to post there?

I think you're being paranoid. It's clear these women weren't a good match for you, especially if you're willing to trash talk them behind their backs about things you didn't like about them. I also think that you should either not tell them about AS or tell them outright about AS. Either way, don't dance around it and describe yourself like someone from a 90's sitcom. But definitely keep meeting people.

Obviously you didn't read the post, or just read what you want to read. This is "one" woman, not "women"...the other woman I dated a month or two ago was a match for me...we just had differing schedules. She wasn't judging me for the Aspergers.

And I'm not trash talking the other woman...it's a fact that she did lie about her age. She wasn't even close to 27. It's likely that it wouldn't have gone past the first date on my end anyway...I'm just wondering if she noticed something "different" about me and was looking for an excuse to leave. Either way it doesn't matter...I'm just wondering if I should even bother with online dating unless the girl is an obvious introvert herself.

As for why I can't post there...I'm not at liberty to say...I was just told not to and have no problem with that. I don't even read the board anymore.

Try not to be discouraged...I think even for sociable people it can be hard to meet someone compatible enough to want to date. AS doesn't make or break a relationship on it's own, although it can make some aspects of having a relationship more challenging. I do find that it's often easier for people to imply that something's wrong with *you* (as opposed to being wrong with them) to explain why something isn't working out. While you can take their words with a grain of salt, you don't necessarily have to believe that it's all you. Lots and lots of non-aspies are plagued with problems that would make them not a good fit, with you or with anyone else!

I spent many years dating and wondering what was wrong with me, and then eight years ago I met the man of my dreams who loves me for being the nut that I am, andi realized all that was 'wrong' with me was that I hadn't been patient enough. Good luck!

I guess I'm just wondering if I should bother with online dating. At least in person, the woman can see it for herself and decide whether or not she cares or doesn't care. Online, you don't want to scare a woman you've never met off by saying "I have Aspergers"...but I feel the need to describe the symptoms since they know what they're in for. I use Niles and Bob Saget as examples because I've been told by women that I kind of look/act like Bob Saget...and I also have the quirks of someone like Niles...so I'm trying to give them a visual example of what to expect.

I think what you are feeling is natural. The only person that can answer is the woman herself.

As someone who has done online dating myself, I went through the same thing myself. At the time I wasnt diagnosed with AS yet. But me and a woman had talk a lot online and on the phone and I thought everything was going well. When that first face to face meeting occured, she didn't want to see or talk to me anymore.

Why it did fall apart at the face to face meeting? I think the reason is the people (men and women) have this perception of what the person is like from being online. Then when they meet face to face they realize the perception is wrong. That false perception is what destroys the relationship, not the person themselves.

As far as to what women (social or shy), I would keep yourself open. I meet my wife through online dating and she is very social while I'm shy. It works very well. She takes over in social suitations and relieves some of the tension on me. What you really want is someone who understands you and helps you out while you can do same for her. You just have to put up with a lot of failures along the path to finding the right one.