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Callista
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09 May 2012, 6:07 pm

Yeah, I agree; sometimes life is most stressful for people who are closest to NT, because they have less assistance, but still have to try to make up for being in the lowest ~5% on all the things that autism makes it harder to learn, like face-reading, conversations, self-regulation, etc. And they are the least obviously autistic, so that people give them less room to make mistakes and less forgiveness when they make them.

It is true for other disabilities too. I remember particularly reading one study about children with cerebral palsy--the "high-functioning" kids (you know, more independent, more mobile, better academic ability and cognitive skills) often had more stress, more bullying, more general problems with self-esteem than the "low-functioning" kids (less mobility, less independence, more cognitive problems). The researchers theorized that perhaps being more obviously disabled led other children and teachers to stop comparing them to the typical children, and that took the focus off "can't do this, can't do that" and made more individualized relationships possible. Whereas, the "high-functioning" kids with less visible disability were always being compared to the typical kids. They also noted, though, that kids with the more obvious disabilities were more socially isolated because they were in segregated classrooms, and that perhaps they were more likely to be underestimated and to miss opportunities... It was a small study--forty-some students--but I think it deserves further research to see whether it's a widespread phenomenon, whether we can harness it to increase acceptance for all children with disabilities in schools. I haven't seen anybody replicate the results yet but then I haven't really been combing the journals all that thoroughly.

I have to admit... sometimes I let myself look more autistic than I could, play NT less than I could, just to let people around me know that I *am* different, and that my autism is real. I guess maybe it's a way of telling people that I'm not being deliberately weird or clueless, that when I burn out or melt down I'm not just being a brat. I wish the concept of invisible disability were more commonly understood. It really hurts when people accuse you of being thoughtless, lazy, or rude, when it was an honest mistake and you would rather they explained to you what you'd done wrong so you could fix it or find a way to get around the problem, instead of just getting mad at you because they thought you meant it the same way you would have if it had been deliberate.


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Tuttle
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09 May 2012, 6:16 pm

I'd use the word mild to describe the people who have a disorder but not a disability.

However, mild does not mean that life is easy, it means they are less affected by these symptoms.



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09 May 2012, 6:26 pm

To me "mild asperger's" means the person is saying well maybe you kind of have it which technically means then you do not have it and you have PDD-NOS which means some traits, but not all traits required for a diagnosis. I do not know enough about how AS is graded or rated as far as mild or severe. From what I have read autism is rated from mild to severe or rated as HFA, but I have not read that AS is rated from mild to severe.


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Last edited by Gazelle on 09 May 2012, 6:32 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Tuttle
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09 May 2012, 6:30 pm

Gazelle wrote:
To me "mild asperger's" means the person is saying well maybe you kind of have it which technically means then you do not have it and you have PDD-NOS which means some traits, but not all traits required for a diagnosis.


That's not what PDD-NOS means. What PDD-NOS means is that you don't fit either diagnostic criteria of Asperger's or Classic Autism (or that you don't fit the stereotypes used by the person diagnosing you), but are clearly on the spectrum. This doesn't only include people who you're describing; it also includes people with a speech delay who'd otherwise have Asperger's, or such.



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09 May 2012, 6:32 pm

Tuttle wrote:
Gazelle wrote:
To me "mild asperger's" means the person is saying well maybe you kind of have it which technically means then you do not have it and you have PDD-NOS which means some traits, but not all traits required for a diagnosis.


That's not what PDD-NOS means. What PDD-NOS means is that you don't fit either diagnostic criteria of Asperger's or Classic Autism (or that you don't fit the stereotypes used by the person diagnosing you), but are clearly on the spectrum. This doesn't only include people who you're describing; it also includes people with a speech delay who'd otherwise have Asperger's, or such.

Thank you for the clarification Tuttle :)


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09 May 2012, 8:03 pm

Gazelle wrote:
Tuttle wrote:
Gazelle wrote:
To me "mild asperger's" means the person is saying well maybe you kind of have it which technically means then you do not have it and you have PDD-NOS which means some traits, but not all traits required for a diagnosis.


That's not what PDD-NOS means. What PDD-NOS means is that you don't fit either diagnostic criteria of Asperger's or Classic Autism (or that you don't fit the stereotypes used by the person diagnosing you), but are clearly on the spectrum. This doesn't only include people who you're describing; it also includes people with a speech delay who'd otherwise have Asperger's, or such.

Thank you for the clarification Tuttle :)

Broad Autism Phenotype is a term that basically encompasses what you described--someone may have some autistic traits, but not enough to qualify for a diagnosis:

http://iancommunity.org/cs/glossary_ter ... 1&letter=B
http://autism.about.com/od/autismterms/g/phenotype.htm



aautismgirl
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09 May 2012, 8:42 pm

Asperger's is a mild case of autism itself. Many famous people from histroy suffered from asperger's.

http://www.autism-world.com/index.php/2 ... ld-autism/



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10 May 2012, 12:48 am

Yensid wrote:
That is a very good question. I would be considered very mild, because I can mostly pass as normal. I can take care of myself. I can hold a job. I can keep up my end of a conversation. I can dress in a way that is not too unusual. I am capable of figuring out basic social rules by watching people.

Yet, I cannot make and keep friends. In any sort of social gathering, I vanish, because I cannot figure out how to interact with groups of people. This inability to socialize causes me a great deal of distress, because I am not naturally a loner. I offend people because I cannot judge how they will respond to what I say. I suffer severe depression, which is largely due to my inability to socialize.

It is very perplexing. I have very mild AS, but at the same time, the effect on my life is huge.

Oddly enough, my mother probably has more severe AS than I do, but it causes her less distress. As far as I can tell, she is so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she does not even realize how different she is. She is less severe, but the somehow she is not seriously affected by it.


I can really relate to how you describe your particular experience of Asperger's because my experience is more or less identical.

You begin by stating that you would be considered to have a mild form of Aspergers
- This suggests that this is how you believe people see you

Then you state that AS has a huge effect on your life
- This is how you experience Asperger's and how you see yourself
- And I believe this is the essence of the Asperger's diagnostic
- The impairment that we experience and feel

This seems to suggest that the way in which you experience/feel Asperger's is perhaps not mild?

For this reason, despite the fact that I display many of the symbols of being 'normal' I would have to say that there is NOTHING remotely mild about the form of Asperger's that I experience.

It is utterly devastating to be unable to connect with people socially, to feel socially inept, to have no friends other than my wife and to have lived my entire in virtual social isolation.

It is especially unbalancing for me having an IQ in the top percentile and having impaired social intuition that places me in the bottom percentile!

Asperger's and HFA are the least severe forms of Autism
- I think this is a useful distinction to make
- But it's still AUTISM!

In no way could I honestly describe my version of Autism as mild.

It is severely socially impairing and so I simply avoid socializing.


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gotwake
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10 May 2012, 1:17 am

Not diagnosed officially. I tell myself mild to make myself feel better. But I know there is nothing mild about me, when I really reflect.



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10 May 2012, 1:25 am

I was diagnosed yesterday and the psychiatrist said several times that I am mild. To be honest, that made me feel even worse than before I had the diagnosis at all. She kept saying things like, "there's no reason you can't lead a normal life", "you are very intelligent" etc, which I think was supposed to make me feel better but in reality just made me ashamed because I don't lead a normal life. I haven't managed to live without my parents yet, I've never had a job, I've failed even with basic support in place. So the term "mild" was like a slap in the face.



btbnnyr
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10 May 2012, 1:41 am

I've read this thread and others like it, and I still have no idear what mild AS is supposed to be. I don't think that the mild modifier is particularly useful, and I don't know how it helps anyone.



edgewaters
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10 May 2012, 2:07 am

I would say mild means it's having a mild impact on your personal/social life and/or employment.



Kurgan
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10 May 2012, 7:27 am

How severe your As is, has a lot to do with your upbringing.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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10 May 2012, 9:27 am

I gather severity is determined by how well you get along with others.



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10 May 2012, 9:39 am

I always think it has to do with how badly it effects you and how easily you are able to cope with it and overcome the symptoms. Like if it's mild, then it shouldn't be hard to adapt and cope and learn the skills if you try and you may be able to learn on your own than needing help from other people such as therapists to help you change. But it would just take you longer to learn is all and the only support you need is understanding and acceptance from people so your life is easier. Or it can mean you are able to use the skills you can hide the fact you have it and you don't need much support at all because people will never guess you have it.

Sure mild kids can still actually get help by getting therapy so their childhood is easier and better because they learn the skills sooner instead of learning them late. My social skills magically got better in my teens and in my childhood they were very bad. Why let them suffer when they are young just so they can suffer from depression and maybe be bitter adults because they were bullied or faced rejections or felt bullied from other kids. "You're mild so you won't be needing therapy to teach you social skills so you are going to have to suffer for a while because why waste money if you will learn this all on your own when you are older but you will just be late is all." That be like a doctor telling a patient with cancer "It's mild, come back when it gets worse." I bet a child with mild AS won't have problems learning social skills if they are taught. Same as with their obsessions and stimming while they get therapy for it so they will learn pretty fast than taking them years.

I do believe you can have mild symptoms and have other symptoms that aren't so mild, same as comorbid conditions. I am guessing this is what people mean when they say they are mild to moderate or moderate to severe so does that mean there is such thing as mild to severe? I also think it means they get moderate at times or severe at times and then other times they are mild or that they are mild all the time but they get their moments where their AS gets worse such as if they fall under stress.



I used to think mild had to do with how much you meet in the criteria and how many symptoms you have. Like if you met everything in the criteria, it be severe. if you had all the symptoms, it be severe but now I know that isn't true. But I also wonder can you not have all the symptoms and still be severe because of how badly they effect you? Can someone have more aspie symptoms than you and be mild while you don't have them all and they are all severe?

I know you can have AS and still do better than NTs in life so would that mean you are mild than they are when it comes to problems? I was surprised when my mother told me I was doing better than my cousins and I only had one cousin who was doing good too just as me but the rest are not because of where they are. They don't even have AS. One of my cousins is back with living with her parents and they buy her stuff and she can't even keep a job or a relationship because she gets bored with them and quits and moves on. I suspect it's her ADD. Her parents always bail her out of everything. Plus she is very dramatic and self centered because she does not see the big picture. She will get an idea in her head and not really think about other people and she acts like a brick wall.

You can have autism and someone else can still be worse than you with their problems such as my cousin for example. I am doing better than her because I am married and have a child and have no money problems like she does. She has been on her own and put herself into debt and also the fact one of the businesses went out of business so they gave her a bad check when they gave her her final paycheck and she trusted they had the money when they gave it to her so all her checks bounced when she paid her bills. Then it left her in debt because she didn't have the money to pay the penalties for bounced checks. Plus she can't even stick to a job or boyfriend.


This is why I don't always like functioning labels. Plus because people think mild anything is no big deal and you don't need help. So I say "so should a cancer patient be turned away and come back when their illness gets worse?" "should someone with mild Alzheimers or mild schizophrenia not be given pills and they should wait for them to get worse because anything is done about it?" Sure sometimes mild can mean it does not effect you so you don't need help or it can mean you don't need support, you just need to try harder is all and you can do it without help but you will always be working harder than other people.



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10 May 2012, 10:17 am

It's like this radar chart. We all have Asperger's but we suffer and benefit in different ways. Almost every grownup I've met doubted my diagnosis. Slowly I've learned to ignore them.


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