Theory: AS lack of street-smarts due to lack of options

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Chickenbird
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11 Mar 2011, 5:26 pm

daspie wrote:
Chickenbird wrote:
I totally agree, I think you nailed it.

Hubby was always saying to me

1. I hate/d your friends, they are so creepy
2. You are lonely because you are too fussy

Cognitive dissonance, anyone?

Are you agreeing with my post or the OP.


Sorry, edited to show it was the OP.
Directness *rocks* :)


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11 Mar 2011, 11:33 pm

I'm generally distrustful of those around me. I don't have many friends because not many people that I know are smart enough to comprehend my interests.


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12 Mar 2011, 12:01 am

I can often spot untrustworthy people (not always by a long shot, but when I notice, boy do I notice). My problem isn't that I'd take companionship for them over aloneness (I totally wouldn't in a million years), but that due to training I have received, I feel compelled to be "polite" to them and "give them a chance" to walk all over me before I decide they're actually doing it. I'm getting better at listening to my gut. (But as I said in another thread, my gut has been described by others as far more finely-tuned than most people's.) When it tells me something very clearly, it is rarely wrong, and I've noticed that it's especially correct about danger signals in others (when it notices them at all, which isn't always).


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12 Mar 2011, 12:37 am

anbuend wrote:
I feel compelled to be "polite" to them and "give them a chance" to walk all over me before I decide they're actually doing it.


I have this problem a lot. This is what happened with that group I wrote about wrt "pretending to be nice". I've cut off all contact at this point, but I gave them so many chances to run roughshod over my boundaries and try to convince me to play along with their manipulative games.

I should have learned better by now.



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12 Mar 2011, 3:46 am

Mar1976 wrote:
I also don't create options[/b]


how does one create options? how does one create anything out of thin air?



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12 Mar 2011, 4:35 am

auntblabby wrote:
Mar1976 wrote:
I also don't create options[/b]


how does one create options? how does one create anything out of thin air?


Creó ex nihilo.



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12 Mar 2011, 4:49 am

Verdandi wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Mar1976 wrote:
I also don't create options[/b]


how does one create options? how does one create anything out of thin air?


Creó ex nihilo.


Creó sententiam ex nihilo? Tamen quam does unus operor is, ut suscipio per?



Verdandi
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12 Mar 2011, 4:57 am

auntblabby wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Mar1976 wrote:
I also don't create options[/b]


how does one create options? how does one create anything out of thin air?


Creó ex nihilo.


Creó sententiam ex nihilo? Tamen quam does unus operor is, ut suscipio per?


Propono ab initio implens in medio, dando bonum finem.

The above is probably wrong. Blame google. :?



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12 Mar 2011, 5:09 am

Verdandi wrote:
Propono ab initio implens in medio, dando bonum finem.

The above is probably wrong. Blame google. :?


translated somewhat imperfectly, you said "Display counting from beginning content upon to heal dando good territory." running this again through the same translator, yields the following:
"Propono a orsa impleo super sano dando bonus tractus"; which when re-translated back into english, results in-
"Display a beginning content over, upon to heal dando good a dragging."

now please tell me what you originally said in english, "si vos commodo, per mellis in is, meus amicus?"



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12 Mar 2011, 5:18 am

"I suggest starting from the beginning, filling in the middle, and giving it a good finish." I should have tried for an actual latin sentence structure.



auntblabby
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12 Mar 2011, 5:22 am

Verdandi wrote:
"I suggest starting from the beginning, filling in the middle, and giving it a good finish." I should have tried for an actual latin sentence structure.


gosh, my cat knows more latin than i do :oops:
anyways, but what if a person has nothing with which to begin with, nor anything to fill the middle or cap the end? just wondering...



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12 Mar 2011, 6:08 am

auntblabby wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
"I suggest starting from the beginning, filling in the middle, and giving it a good finish." I should have tried for an actual latin sentence structure.


gosh, my cat knows more latin than i do :oops:
anyways, but what if a person has nothing with which to begin with, nor anything to fill the middle or cap the end? just wondering...


When I find myself in that situation I don't post anything.



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12 Mar 2011, 8:48 am

Verdandi wrote:
When I find myself in that situation I don't post anything.


and that is why a hermit becomes a hermit. and why do many hermits converse with themselves? probably for the same reason that the caged bird still sings.



tskin1
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12 Mar 2011, 9:14 am

Quote:
NT's don't have to suffer to earn street smarts. We do.


Believe it or not some of us NT people also get screwed, also get used, also deal with people who are fake or who appear to be somthing they aren't.. while it is true that most of us probably have more people to choose from it doesn't mean we're immune to suffering or that the ignorant among us dont seek us out only to destroy our spirit as well.

I think to a certain degree at least for the average NT it has to do with extravert/intravert personality as far as how many we have to choose from.

I do as one poster put look out for the underdog, constantly run into the worst of people who on the outside seem to be fantastic.. I also get stabbed in the back.. I also form great friendships only to find out that this person isn't worth the time spent...it is possible that your running into simply the "wrong people" as am I??.

cooincidentally i wasn't offended by your post but I do think it's unfortunate that all NT people are lumped into one group who apparently are fantastically social, street smart and happy.. it just isn't the case.



Mar1976
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12 Mar 2011, 1:12 pm

auntblabby wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
When I find myself in that situation I don't post anything.


and that is why a hermit becomes a hermit. and why do many hermits converse with themselves? probably for the same reason that the caged bird still sings.


I really expected better from people on this forum......clearly I was wrong.

I'm relatively new here, trying to get my head around AS and only here to try to gain a bit of insight.

I've posted, rarely (probably), in comparison to some members on here and only to share a few of my own experiences if the threads happen to be relevant to me; if they aren't I don't post.

I'm still getting to grips with taking part in online forums (I have done so in the past), but it seems I also have online AS, so I probably don't come across very well.

I've read it back and I agree it doesn't make much sense, fair enough. I'm notoriously bad at editing myself and do tend to go on, it's just my way and I can't get out of that habit, just like now!

My comment about 'not creating options' was a reflection of where I am now, I don't go out of my way to meet people because my confidence has been shattered beyond recognition and this is directly as a result of the way certain people have treated me in the last 4 years.
You can create opportunities from nothing with other people if you have the social tools to do so, (isn't that how many people discover friendship, love etc?). I don't have those tools and never have, but I have tried to hone and mimick those skills in the past, sometimes succesfully and sometimes not. But now that my confidence has done a runner, I have no motivation to even try. So I don't create options.


Just because I currently have no options and don't have the confidence to create any, does not mean I'm a hermit. I've really had enough of people assuming things about me in real life, so to have it on a faceless forum, really isn't helpful.

If you're going to quote someone then criticise their comments, the structure of their post, or the lack of pertinent comments to the thread, please have the decency to say it directly to the person and not have a conversation between yourselves on the same thread; I'm right here!

If I'm being paranoid, please tell me and explain your comments.
I suspect I won't get a reply to this.......



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12 Mar 2011, 1:29 pm

Mar1976 wrote:
I've posted, rarely (probably), in comparison to some members on here and only to share a few of my own experiences if the threads happen to be relevant to me; if they aren't I don't post.

I'm still getting to grips with taking part in online forums (I have done so in the past), but it seems I also have online AS, so I probably don't come across very well.

I've read it back and I agree it doesn't make much sense, fair enough. I'm notoriously bad at editing myself and do tend to go on, it's just my way and I can't get out of that habit, just like now!

Wow, the highlighted part is just what I also have. I also post when I feel strongly about the topic because I have been in that situation unlike some idiot aspies who just post nonsense on every other thread. I was extremely bad at editing and people attributed it to me not being a native speaker of english. I think the reason is recent memory deficit. We tend to see things locally, if I would change the structure of sentence mid way then I would tend to forget that the earlier part also needs a change because of that. I have improved upon that, I lost one pen-pal because of this bad habit. Thank god that now I have one person who does the same :D
"online AS"- a nice concept :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: No contempt intended.