So how do we all cope in conversations?

Post Reply New Topic

I always rehearse stuff in my head, so if someone says something, I'm usually prepared with an answer or two.
If someone asks something unexpected, I will either stay silent and pretend I didn't hear them, have a shut-down, or stutter and stammer until I finally splutter out an audible answer, whilst twiddling my thumbs and my heart hammering...

Does this happen to anyone else? How do you guys cope when having a social encounter/conversation?

_________________
Aspie 172/200 Undiagnosed, but pretty sure I have it.
'Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure.'

I prepare conversations in advance, but I also try to lead the topics, shut down is inevitable if
I am not prepared, I just find something interesting to occupy my mind at those times.

I prepare conversations in advance until I know the people I'm talking to regularly enough that I know what to expect.

If I don't prepare in advance, I often appear to be a total idiot. For this reason I hate unexpected 1 on 1 conversations much more than anything else, even public speaking.

I don't prepare conversations. The problem I have is with small talk and banter. I end up saying "thanks" and tell people what I want without the friendly small talk. I did that a couple of times today and experienced my usual bout of being surrounded by banter while, in my head, I was wishing I could just get away. Others seem to know what to say to make a witty joke out of a tense situation when all I want to do is answer questions directly and leave it at that. I experienced a situation like that earlier today and I could feel the anxiety and discomfort rising within.

Reading up on etiquette and books like How to Win Friends and Influence People can help. Here's a mindmap of the key points: http://www.mindmeister.com/40950677/how ... nce-people

I ask people questions as people love to talk about themselves, and it makes it easier to establish a point of common interest to chat about.

I do the rehearsing thing. I have scripts that help me get through small talk with variable success, although I tend to digress into more substantial topics when it happens. If a conversation is completely unexpected, all I have are scripts, even if it means agreeing with things I don't agree with because that's the only response I have that I can fit into the conversation while I'm trying to process it.

The last time I tried MsBehaviour's advice, the woman I was talking to turned out to be AS herself. It is good advice, though.

By conversing.

I really have no idea how I can socialize well despite AS though. It's hard for me, but I can do it and actually enjoy it.

apparently I bluntly tell people that I wasn't paying attention when they ask me about something .........well I did yesterday anyway

I do the mental rehearsal for conversations as well........it only really works in one-on-one conversations though.......group conversations get too complicated
.............

I do the same as you.

I even rehearse conversations in my head when they don't even end up taking place.

Then again, this isn't always the most effective method, because others are extremely unpredictable (and we are to them.)