NT video with surprising insides on NT-aspie problems
I have seen a video ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DR4y5iX4uRY ) where a person was asking for directions and then asking people to hand him stuff, and they just did! Now, one thing that striked me about it is that he had air of intelligence about him. So that is what probably made people instinctively trust him and hand him stuff.
Now this could explain the problem autistics have. They LACK the air of intelligence and, therefore, they are a victims of "the opposite" of that phenomena: people instinctively NOT trust aspies, even though aspies didn't do anything to deserve this mistrust.
Now, why does either extreme of this phenomena takes place? An NT simply doesn't have enough brain power or concentration to evaluate ALL of the stimuli. So he has to put things in categories to make the job easier. On the one hand, there is a category of "trustworthy people"; you don't need to evaluate them, you can just trust everything they say (including requests such as "give me a wallet"). On the other hand, there is a category of "non-trustworthy people"; again, you don't have to evaluate them -- you can simply AVOID them. Unfortunately, aspies fall in the latter category, and thats why they are avoided by NT-s.
Aspies probably fail to put things in categories the way NT-s do, which is probably why aspies are often face "overloads of information" which eventually forces them to come up with their own, aspie, tricks of categorizing things. But still, fact remains: aspies are unaware of NT-type of categorizing. Thus, NT-s, being fully aware that they are about to be "placed into category" by other NT-s, are bending backwards in order to "earn" a placement into "trustworthy category". Aspies, being unaware of this, fail to make such efforts and, therefore, would logically stand out as "not trustworthy".
Intelligence may not be quite the right idea here. I think it's more about charisma. I have a strong air of intelligence, but my eye contact and general demeanor do not put people at ease. I am too intense, and my inclination to use big words is unsettling. But I can't seem to find any other words to use when I'm talking unless its something trivial then I just rattle off weird puns and stuff.
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When God made me He didn't use a mold. I'm FREEHAND baby!
The road to my hell is paved with your good intentions.
That!
Also, in my case, my boss and other authority figures tend to find me immediately trustworthy, as do those who work for me when I'm the boss... but coworkers and others who are my equals and peers tend to very quickly circle the wagons and make it obvious that I am not liked or trusted.
The difference is that I can behave formally and professionally when dealing with those above or below me on an organizational chart, but those on the same level expect a friendler, more casual attitude and way of communicating, which I find very difficult to do without just appearing weird or, at least, insincere.
As far as appearing intelligent I appear very, probably too, intelligent.
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"If you can't call someone else an idiot, then you are obviously not very good at what you do."
Not necessarily unaware, maybe just not understanding or being able to bend over like that / unconsciously bend the right way for the situation / control it consciously.
It's charisma alright, fast-talking con-artist.
People get stunned by getting caught offguard with smooth and quick verbal actions. Sort of temporary hypnosis.
Plus he looked well-kempt thus decreasing probability the con-artist was not to be trusted.
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"It all start with Hoborg, a being who had to create, because... he had to. He make the world full of beauty and wonder. This world, the Neverhood, a world where he could live forever and ever more!"
People get stunned by getting caught offguard with smooth and quick verbal actions. Sort of temporary hypnosis.
Advantage autism, for me at least. A fast talking smooth operator doesn't work so well on me because I don't process their schtick in the way they expect. I have to slow them down and ask them to clarify. This throws off their rhythm and they don't like it. Controlling the conversation is key to their success.
_________________
When God made me He didn't use a mold. I'm FREEHAND baby!
The road to my hell is paved with your good intentions.
This has been tried on me a few times but it didn't work in any of the cases. I am a combination of trusting and hyper-alert. I give people the benefit of a doubt but am on-guard for the first sign of anything hinky. I'm not sure how I maintain this precarious balance of trusting and wary but it had gotten me out of many potentially hazardous situations without alienating people who were genuinely trustworthy.
The way it has gone with me (a few times, so it may be a practised scam) is that the person asks for written directions. They have a book with them that can serve as a hard surface to write on but they have no paper or pen. I have one of those voluminous purses that looks like it would have paper and pen in it so maybe that's why I've been picked for this. So anyway, they ask me for written directions. I rummage about in my purse and get out paper and pen. They hand me the book as a hard surface to write on and offer to hold my purse while I write. I give them a hard look when they say that and they say "just trying to make it easier". I jot off some quick directions just in case they are legit and the exchange ends there.
Some people really are lost and many people have asked me for directions without also asking for my purse (which is always zipped and buckled so that nobody can do the pickpocket distraction scam).
I noticed the guy in the video did the "asking for directions" thing too. It's a trust builder since so many actually trustworthy people do ask for directions. And there are people who have handed me their book as a hard writing surface without scammishly asking for my purse. The "mark" in the video didn't have that balance of trust and wary that I have honed since childhood. Once he went over to trust, the radar went down. I never put the radar down unless it's somebody I really know. And I mean really know, not just an acquaintance.
NTs trust people with charisma, good looking, smiles and makes eye contact. I watched a study of young babies reaction to faces on smiling attractive people and people not smiling and looking away. The babies generally reacted better to the 1st group and not the 2nd group. This study would point to it being hard wired in NTs. I think the point is people are supossed to learn that people are 'beautiful' inside and their outer appearance does not matter. It is part of moral development. But a lot of NTs are not learning this as they get older. It could be due to poor parenting and/or moral development not continuing into adulthood. Because of bad people with charisma killing and stealing, NTs are now more paranoid about everyone.
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Married to a undiagnosed Aspie and have 2 kids on the spectrum.
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