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How is your self confidence?
Terrible 18%  18%  [ 7 ]
Rather bad 26%  26%  [ 10 ]
Okay 33%  33%  [ 13 ]
Rather good 21%  21%  [ 8 ]
Very good 3%  3%  [ 1 ]
Total votes : 39

Sanctus
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16 Feb 2013, 7:32 pm

Are you able to stand up for yourself and defend your needs and opinions if they're attacked? Or do you have terrible self esteem and hate yourself? Or are you in between, like me, and actually rather like yourself, but still can't defend yourself and feel kind of inferior?

Give your reasons for your state of self confidence in the comments, if you want to...


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Yuugiri
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16 Feb 2013, 7:37 pm

I hate myself, but I love debate, so I'll stand up for my views anyway.


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Philosoraptor
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16 Feb 2013, 7:38 pm

With me, I have noticed that I hardly think about things I am good at, and things I'm not good at (casual social interaction included) cause a hit to my self-esteem quite often. This might be evident in my online presence as most of my created topics and responses concern my deficiencies rather than my adequacies.

But, I make it a priority to try and consciously identify the things I am not consciously thinking of that I am good at whenever I have to confront the things I struggle with, which has helped with coping. One could call it the defense mechanism of Compensation, but it hasn't had any negative impacts yet.

So, I'd say I rather like myself, although in real life I tend to act as if I have neutral self-esteem to come across as humble. I'm always concerned about being perceived as narcissistic or as self-loathing so I strive to meet the middle ground, as I also experience displeasure when I witness either in real life.



Who_Am_I
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16 Feb 2013, 7:44 pm

It's fine.
Presuming that I'm communicating through a medium that doesn't make my communication difficulties worse, I can stand up for myself perfectly well. It's much easier in writing than by talking, but that's not a reflection of my self-confidence, only of the fact that I type better than I talk.


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redrobin62
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16 Feb 2013, 8:06 pm

My self confidence is generally low. I've done things in the past, however, to improve certain things. For instance, when I was learning the guitar, I read books on fingerings and chords, watched videos and tried out different styles of music so I'd get better. Same thing for when I started writing. I wrote short stories, poems, novellas, screenplays and delved into different formats like historical fiction, horror, crime and science fiction so I could get better.



dyingofpoetry
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16 Feb 2013, 8:19 pm

If I am sure of myself, then I am confident in myself, but if I have the slightest doubts, I fall apart. I am also bad with presentations and speaking, because I always assume I will make a fool of myself. (Although I have spoken at conferences twice and I was okay.)


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Jayo
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16 Feb 2013, 8:44 pm

I'm generally a confident man, and come across that way for the most part - I don't shake or such when speaking with people, and can express my viewpoints w/o trouble. Also done public speaking and presentations quite a few times. However, I still do have trouble standing up to a bully, while I assert myself saying why I disagree with what they're telling me (like unfair criticism or nit-picking), I don't get aggressive with them or accuse them. My best approach is to leave and avoid such "people". That's not lacking confidence, that's based on wisdom that these types will never change.



Tyri0n
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16 Feb 2013, 8:48 pm

Sanctus wrote:
Are you able to stand up for yourself and defend your needs and opinions if they're attacked? Or do you have terrible self esteem and hate yourself? Or are you in between, like me, and actually rather like yourself, but still can't defend yourself and feel kind of inferior?

Give your reasons for your state of self confidence in the comments, if you want to...


Mixed. I have fairly confident body language. I'm not my own biggest fan, however.



OddDuckNash99
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16 Feb 2013, 9:55 pm

I'm mixed, as well. When it comes to "typical" confidence, I have never had a problem. I am always ready to stand up and fight for what I believe in, and I love giving presentations and such to an audience. I have zero fear of public speaking. But my confidence in my own abilities has always been shaky. One area I really have low self-esteem and great feelings of inadequacy regards my mathematical abilities, due to my NVLD. I have always felt stupid in math, and I'm often ashamed at what I can't do.


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another_1
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16 Feb 2013, 10:32 pm

Yuugiri wrote:
I hate myself, but I love debate, so I'll stand up for my views anyway.
:thumright: :thumright: :thumright: :thumright: :thumright:

Can't say I hate myself anymore, but I LOOOOOOOVE and agree with the rest of the comment!



jk1
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16 Feb 2013, 10:46 pm

I like myself in many ways, but somehow when faced with other people I feel extremely nervous to the point of appearing weird. Hence my self confidence is terrible. I know my weakness that has been affecting my life very negatively is my very poor social skill. That, by itself, is enough to ruin my self confidence.



Marybird
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16 Feb 2013, 11:29 pm

I don't know about confidence, I guess it would depend on the circumstance. Defending myself is difficult. I am too quiet and introverted and it takes too long to think of what to say to defend myself. Wait a couple of hours and I will think of a good defence.



ghoti
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16 Feb 2013, 11:37 pm

've been so mistreted and jaded that i have none left. Since then been told i need to build some up but can't due to my memories.



Sweetleaf
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17 Feb 2013, 2:17 am

I don't exactly hate myself, I recently came to the conclusion hating myself was conditioned into me by being treated like crap by others and feeling hated by everyone. So I am working on trying to accept myself and look for some of the good things...but I still am lacking in appropriate assertiveness and usually worry far to much about not pissing people off to the extent I end up doing it anyways by coming off the wrong way or whatever because I am so worried of doing something that might bring heavy criticizm.

Half the time I even dread sudden loud noises, not because they put me on edge and make me jump or go right into defense mode and generally make me feel terrible but because I worry someone will misunderstand and think I am just being dramatic and make the mistake of saying it which will really get me going. My brother once made that mistake and had to stop me from destroying an entire bedroom because I disassociated and went into fight/freak out mode. People should just not talk to me when i get set off because I can guarantee I will most certainly take it too hard or just wrong in general while in that state.

But yeah trying to accept myself flaws and all, still struggling with feeling like I'm totally worthless and if I even deserve self acceptance, kinda stuck in the middle right now I guess.


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morslilleole
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17 Feb 2013, 2:27 am

It used to be a lot worse, but it has gotten better over the last few years. Moving to my own place helped a lot. And also I went to university with a lot of people who were like me. And now I work with some of those people, that helped to. It can still get better, but I am sure it will in the next few years.



Marc420
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17 Feb 2013, 2:28 am

Quite bad. I dont like myself and dont understand why other people would like me or want to be around me and put up with my quirks and problems.