Do you ever punish yourself?

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I used to punish myself for every social faux-pas I made until I was in my mid-20's.

Types of punishments:
1. Barred myself from eating any food for three full days.
2. Forced myself to walk repeatedly through a thicket of thorns or stinging nettles while wearing only shorts.
3. Freezing cold showers for a week.
4. Destroy or give away something I loved, like a favourite book or clothing.
5. Force myself to exercise far past the point of exhaustion, to where I vomited or could no longer feel my limbs.
6. In summer, deliberately make myself get a pretty bad sunburn that would hurt for days.

Does anyone here either punish themselves, used to punish themselves, or even think of punishing themselves? For any reason.

(Please note this was not the same thing as cutting oneself to feel pain, because I was literally attempting to train Aspieness out of myself with harsh punishments in a systematic way.)

Did it work?

It worked that I seriously and systematically kept attempting to do better at socializing, and made that a clear goal. But it is unclear whether torturing myself for errors was necessary to the greater effort.

Yes I used to punish myself and mom told me to not do it. Sometimes I still wish my husband would give me harsh treatment but he doesn't.

Now only punishments I give myself is verbal punishments.

Goodness, no! I like myself too much for that.

I used to punish myself every time I lost control and hit out. I used to scratch the side of my face until it bled because I wanted to look as ugly as I felt. Luckily I no longer hit out, so I don't need to punish myself. Also none of the cuts scarred... unlike the accidental burn I got on my hand which won't disappear!

I used to work out until sweat was dripping off my body and my workout clothes were soaked right through and they needed to be wringed out. I was around 21 or 22.

I can't imagine this ever leading to social development. Wouldn't it work better to associate socialization even when unsuccessful with something positive? For me at least most of my failures in these situations are because I'm bored of the people involved and couldn't care less what I'm supposed to be doing so I do the most incredibly tactless things like walking out of the room when someone is talking to me without even being aware. But if you learn to remain socially involved even in such occasions as these then I imagine MASSIVE SUCCESS! I'll start working on that now.

Somethimes

i bited myself and i beaten my hands with a pencil. But i noticed that jumping and screaming with a pich voice things like 'it doesn't works, it doesn't works it does'nt wiork' or 'i cant, i can't i cant' has the same effect)

Last edited by Nordlys on 27 May 2011, 3:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'd freak out if I messed up socially when I was little. I'd have this voice in my head screaming that I was bad and evil and deserved to die or whatever. But an actual punishment? No, I missed out on that...phew. :p

I used to go beserk punching and kicking walls or the air or exercising as hard as possible so that I physically exhaust myself and pass out. I still do that...

I used to cut myself as a punishment for not living up to social norms and my parents' expectations.
I know I could've died, but at that time I didn't really care.

No, I prefer to use a rewards system for when I reach a goal and motivate myself that way.

Yes and no, though it is definitely not to the point of physical punishment. Mine is more psychological with minimal physical, usually something like, at least in the winter, sitting in my room with a fan on full blast and the windows wide open wearing a tank top and shorts.

I can't talk about this unless it's in the "adult" section...

I send myself to my room all the time but that's not really a punishment...

My punishment is all in the form of abusing myself emotionally with some vicious self berating on the mental level. Punishment rituals never worked with me.