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Snowy Owl
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05 Jun 2011, 9:24 am

Not sure where to post this, so if this is the wrong place then my apologies. Anyway, this is partly a rant and partly me asking for some advice on my situation. Lately I’ve been getting the feeling that my social worker, despite me trying to educate her still does not really understand AS and how it for lack of a better word “affects” me. I’ve been trying to be patient about this, using the logic that I don’t really understand her either but the difference is that I at least try to make an effort to.

The reason this problem has become more apparent lately is her preoccupation with me moving out, she’s trying to see what kind of support is out there but the problem is that the little support that is out there has a time limit on it. She seems to be having trouble understanding that some people will need some kind of support for the rest of their life. How can I make her understand this?

When I try to explain the kind of difficulties I have, she just keeps talking about how intelligent I am. How can I make her see that being intelligent does not mean a person can take care of themselves?


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jonnysound
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05 Jun 2011, 10:00 am

Maybe just be blunt and explain your difficulties and / or try and see if you can get to see someone else that knows more about AS. I was diagnosed a few days ago I've been told I'll see somone that's has AS or similar to come round my house and people that are trained.


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btbnnyr
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05 Jun 2011, 3:03 pm

I might try using very specific examples from everyday life. Maybe you've tried them already.

For example, I might tell my therapist that I find it easy to learn a programming language in a few hours, but I find it hard to cook dinner. I'd say that when someone mentions that I should cook dinner that night, I get a deer in the headlights look on my face. Cooking dinner, especially for other people to eat and not gag or die, has many steps that are harder for me to navigate than for most people. It might take another person a few minutes to figure out what to cook, but it might take me an hour to do the same. Then, there's the specific amounts of ingredients and the many steps required to combine them into edible food. I'd have to plan it all out in my head and go over it a few times before I could do it, whereas someone else might be able to just start doing it. Eventually, I'd be able to cook dinner, but the process would require 10X more mental effort on my part as compared to another person. And the process would take a lot out of me. Most people would be tired after cooking dinner, but I might be 80% dysfunctional for the rest of the day, while they are only 20% dysfunctional. It's like a hit in a game. The same hit screws me up a lot more, and the same leveling up costs me a lot more. None of these difficulties have to do with intelligence, but everything to do with the way the brain works - intellectually efficient on the inside, practically inefficient on the outside.


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Bloodheart
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05 Jun 2011, 3:14 pm

Some people may not ever fully understand - if they don't have AS/ASD I think it is hard for them to grasp fully what it means and how it can effect us. This includes people whose job it is to help us.

For example - autism support at my college don't grasp that I don't need special help and their arranging such things without keeping me informed causes more stress than anything else, or my disability adviser helping me back into work also tells me that I'm intelligent and have a lot of potential (like I don't know that), she seems to think that my issues with using a telephone will vanish once I 'gain more confidence'. These are people who work with others on the spectrum for a living, you may think they should know better...they should...but when dealing with different people in any situation they may make assumptions or lack understanding of how you feel or what you can manage, add something as complex as AS/ASD when problems are not so clear-cut then they may simply not understand.

You do have to be very clear with her, when she keeps insisting try not to go along to keep her happy. Easier said than done, but perhaps write her an email or a letter explaining YOUR situation, that you feel/know you will always need support and if it is not there then this is not an option for you. Inform her in no uncertain terms that some people will always need support - say this, word-for-word 'Some people will always need support' - what is her response? 'But you're so smart, you'll be fine, you just need to gain confidence'...don't be defeated by this, correct her, tell her being smart will not magically make your brain different, you've always been intelligent yet you've always needed support and this will not change - challenge that way of thinking, explain to her in basic terms that her thinking is flawed.


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Jonsi
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05 Jun 2011, 4:13 pm

I usually apologize for any awkwardness or strange things and explain that I'm just a bit bad at socializing and people usually understand. In fact people tend to talk more and speak to me longer when I explain that.