So, would this be an aspie thing to do?

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So, I was at big 5 today shopping for shoes because the shoes I were wearing was falling apart (Literally. The sole had already completely split in half and the front half flopped around independently from the back half.), and I noticed a shoe I was looking at wasn't in the "shoes section", so I asked him where it was, and he said some were in the "clearance section"(The ones with a clearance sticker), some were in the obvious shoe section, and some could only be found in the back. So, I (thought I) asked him "So, there are more shoes in the back?" thinking that there were different shoes back there and he said "yes.", and I thought this meant there was a separate "shoes section" in the back of the store and they did it that way because they have so many shoes. So, I went to the back of the store and I noticed rest rooms to the left and shoes to the right. It was suspiciously looking like an "employees only" kind of area, so I was carefully looking for an "employees only" or similar sign, but couldn't find one, so I proceeded to the back and picked up the most expensive shoes I could find to compare that to the current ones I was trying out. I eventually compared, contrasted and picked up some comfy new balances that were on sale and then went back to return the expensive shoes and as I walking past a room, this guy in the room said... "Hey, siirrr!" in a shocked manner, and then I appeared at his door and said "yeeesss?" and then he said "Only employees are allowed back there." and I explained what that guy said and handed the shoes to him, but he gave that "yeah, yeah" face while saying "I can return those for you" while his colleague was distracting him with some kind of issue that arose.

So, was this some kind of "implicit" rule that only an aspie would break because it wasn't "obvious enough"? I explained this to my parents and they said, "That's just common sense!". Gee, it seems like I'm missing this "common sense" thing a lot. Sometimes, I think I'm just an NT with "crazy" thinking and ways of misinterpreting what other people are saying and/or phrasing things in a way that others tend to misunderstand my intention.

Last edited by swbluto on 10 Jun 2011, 12:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

Yes. Yes it is.

Generally speaking, the back is not open to the public with the occasional exception of the restrooms.

Another exception is, a lot of supermarkets around here will have a clearance/sale section right after the doors that lead to the restrooms.

But it doesn't seem unreasonable to interpret his statement that there were more shoes in he back as an invitation to go and look - especially since you emphasised your interest in the ones that were there.

Maybe the person you asked about the shoes was an aspie!

Question: Are there more shoes in the back?
Factually correct answer: Yes.
Not asked for and so not stated: But they're in an employees only area you shouldn't go into...

Uh...

I vote common sense with your parents.

But keep asking if everything is Aspie related... Perhaps one day, you'll get your Internet diagnosis.

If I didn't know that you were talking about Big 5, I would have done the same thing - just would have tried to walk into the back storeroom to look for shoes. However, at every Big 5 I've been to, I've seen store employees be the only ones to walk through those types of doors, so I know better than to go into the storeroom myself. I don't know if going into the back storeroom would be uniquely aspie, though.

I would have probably gone to the same place as you, and grabbed the shoes myself. Even if I knew it was for employees I would do it because I don't wait around for someone who doesn't want to do their job anyway. Then I'd just make some excuse and look dumb and walk away and get my shoes.

I would also say it's common sense not to go through the back doors to the storage area. If I'm interpreting your situation correctly, I believe that the employee was trying to steer you back towards the back wall of the store, not the back room. Every Big 5 store I've been in has their shoes displayed along the back wall. In front of that wall are the shoes on clearance, either on tables or racks.

It sounds like you put your foot in it.

I think these kind of "implicit rules" are just understood among NTs, so they communicate answers in such a way where they avoid stating the obvious to avoid looking stupid. And, if "Only employees are allowed back there." was obvious to "everyone", it makes sense he wouldn't come out and say it directly. So, I'm thinking there's a fairly good possibility he's NT.

We were standing near the shoes on the back-wall and he gestured to behind the wall.

Given the amount of aspies saying it's just "common sense", apparently aspies don't accidentally make this mistake.

Lol. Maybe it's just a special flavor of air-headedness. Or possibly lunacy.

(Btw, I saw the psych yesterday, and she said she didn't think I had memory problems but I could possibly have ADD/ADHD. I don't honestly trust a given person's opinion of someone's "memory", though, just from observation because a sufficiently high-IQ person would be able to, in theory, make up believable information on the spot if they really have bad memory which would possibly convey a sense of having 'good memory', but not really.)

I agree. How would your psychologist be able to accurately gauge how good or bad your memory is? She wouldn't.

If I understood your OP correctly, I have done that sort of thing. I be in a thrift store and I would wander in the back and look at more items and it be a mess and all disorganized. Then all of a sudden the employee in there tells me I am not supposed to be in there and it's employees only.

But they usually have signs up saying that or a rope across the hallway or door way. Sometimes I just don't pay any attention and then I feel stupid for it. I have caught myself doing it too or my husband would tell me and I get out.

But I have never wandered through the doors in the back. Only time I have is when I was told by the store employee the restrooms were through there or when my mom bought groceries and then she saw she didn't have her money so they let her put her food in the back in the huge fridge and freezer so she can go back home and get her money and then come back to pay for them. Another time it was because her car broke down and she couldn't get it to start again. That's the only time we have been back there.

As I said, I'm fairly certain this is an AS thing.

It was unclear to the original poster whether the back of the store was off limits to customers because there was no sign stating "employees only". There are instances in which shoppers are allowed in certain areas in the back of the store. For example, most restrooms in supermarkets that are opened to customers are in the back of the store, and as I stated, they often keep the clearance items back there. I was in a restaurant recently where, to get to the restrooms that were indeed open to patrons, one had to go through the kitchen. There are many shops in my area where the parking is in the back and so there is a door in the back through which customers are often allowed to come in through. Conversely, there are stairs at one of the shopping malls here that leads to the back exit of the movie theater. I routinely used to see people flooding down from there as they would often exit the back door of the theater after a movie, and I would frequently see teengers go up there, I imagine to "hang out" because there was a nice view from there. So I had no reason to believe it was an off limits area. There were no signs either. However I was up there one day watching the sunset and was met by multiple security guards who told me the area was off limits and I was not allowed to be up there.

When the original poster asked if there were more shoes in the back, what they meant was "Is there another shoe section in the back?" This was an attempt to clear up ambiguity of whether the back was off limits. The clerk replied "Yes". Usually they reply "I'm not sure if we have that model in stock but I could check for you if you like."

Thus the miscommunication occurred because it was ambiguous to the original poster whether or not they were allowed in the back, and thought the answer to their question implied that it was ok for them to go back there.

It's an AS thing. However, it's not exclusively an AS thing. My mother who does not have AS does things like with a high degree of frequency because she has a difficult time resolving her surroundings.

Does sound familiar. I wondered if there are things in this world that are purposely set up so that people like you and me can only learn after embarrassing ourselves, like some kind of cruel initiation ritual. And the worst thing is you don't even see the most ditsy people making the same mistakes. People who can't reason their way out of a paper bag are none-the-less gifted with "common sense".