Page 2 of 6 [ 89 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next

LadySera
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2011
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 418

13 Jun 2011, 12:37 am

I'm not diagnosed yet but I just started seeing a therapist that I actually like and I feel this is me. Anyway, I like girly stuff sometimes but guy stuff at other times. I don't like female small talk (who they are dating, their kids, etc) and in the past of liked hanging out with guys more sometimes. I have a dirty sense of humor and even though I'm not gay (but do find beauty in women) I would much rather make sex jokes with guys than listen to baby stories all night. Once my sister crotch blocked me because I finally met this guy I was online friends w for years but she said that he was disrespecting me because he was talking about other women in front of me. That's the kind of stuff I talk about with guys though. For instance, my favorite magazine is Maxim. Sometimes guys can just sit and listen to music, play a game or watch a movie but it seems like the girls always have to be gossiping.

There are times that I really wish I had been born a guy though. I hate when I go somewhere alone and I get asked why I'm alone. I've never seen someone ask a guy who was by himself that but I have mentioned it to a couple of NT female friends & they've gotten the same feedback when alone. I also physically fought a lot to stick up for myself as a kid so when I got older & the real teasing started I would get the verbal abuse from both sexes as well as having stuff thrown at me by the guys.

Or when I've exercised by myself on occasion guys would come up and want to "challenge me" to basketball, pull ups, etc. like I was one of the guys but I just wanted to do that alone so I passed.

I was on sort of an oddball forum years back that related to one of my special interests. I would say that it was at least 80% male. I tried to avoid mentioning anything female most of the time because the guys would want to basically rate us. If a guy had a problem with women they were sympathetic but if us women did they wanted pictures or to know why we liked that particular guy. I've always hated and not understood these double standards.

I also sort of had to train myself to walk more confidently when I go take walks around town so people won't automatically pick on me. This led to men and women using that as a come one, such as "you have such a different walk for a woman". ugh.

I am usually incredibly lonely. I hate that the whole world puts out this idea that if a woman wants a man for anything, even just a one night stand we can just have one. So many times I basically had to cajole guys to be with me for an hour or 2. They wouldn't understand that I can't emotionally connect with them but wanted their body.

keira wrote:
Then I got obsessed with Edie Sedgwick so I asked my hairdresser to cut my hair short and color it blonde. I never regretted it but I got bored of it in a year or so. It was hard to maintain for it to look decent. My hair is long again but I still dye it like dark (more natural looking) blonde.


That is so awesome. I love her.



Ai_Ling
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Nov 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,891

13 Jun 2011, 2:07 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Hi I am wanting to hear from females who have aspergers.

How do you find you compare to other aspies, and other NTS? There are a lot of stereotypes about aspergers and women and would love to hear from you. It's time the world knew being aspie doesn't mean you're some guy with bad B.O and a terrible haircut.


Well I have very little experience with aspie females out there so its hard to compare other then what Ive read in books. I get rather offended to what Ive read of female aspies. They tend to depict female aspies as a hyper-sensative and naive who need to be constantly cared for. I know a lot of us females hate being always lumped with the male aspies but do you really want people to think that your some overly naive girl who's needs to be cared for all the time?

Ive known some males aspies and Ive been able to relate to them for the most part in that we all have been in pretty bad situations due to our spite and lack of common sense. I have both female and male aspie traits. I do pretty much fit the description for aspergers except my traits our very mild by now. The general description of aspergers is a male aspie description.

As for NTs goes, I have mostly female interests and some emotions, I have a similar communication style and similar goals and ambitions as a male. I get along slightly better with males. I have a very hard time connecting with NT females, I've only made 1 close female friend ever. Most NT females probably find me lacking. Sure we can enjoy similar activities such as crafts, dancing, cooking and shopping but the emotional connection isn't really there.



TheygoMew
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Nov 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,102

13 Jun 2011, 3:06 am

-Non catty
-Non clique
-Masculine brain
-Feminine empathy
-INTP

-Strong BS meter
-Detail oriented
-I couldn't pretend to be anyone else for longer than a minute. Just to do an impression.

-People either love or hate me. If they hate me, I'll just leave them alone unless they are repeatedly messing with me then I fight back.
-Always learning.


What was the question again?



Erisad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jul 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,058
Location: United States

13 Jun 2011, 11:14 am

When I say I'm aspie I always get a, "Nuh uhhhhh! You're so social and pretty!" or something to that effect. Yes, I'm aspie and I like people, I really do. I'm just awkward in some situations. They say I hide it too well to the point that I come off as an eccentric NT. I'll take that as a win. I can be undercover in the NT world for you guys like a secret agent. 8)

I love makeup and dressing up.
I am social
I'm not mathmatically inclined, more creative



puddingmouse
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Apr 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,777
Location: Cottonopolis

13 Jun 2011, 1:46 pm

I've always felt that I'm psychologically an androgyne. I don't relate to either men or women.

I'll usually wear 'female' clothing and make-up and I do enjoy doing it, but it feels like I'm in drag. 'Male' clothing feels like drag. Everything gender related feels like an acting role.

I think I'm by definition transgendered but that seems like a strange thing for me to say. I've always just though I was 'weird' and 'me'. My female body never upset me that much.

When I was a teenager, I was always expecting to grow out of this androgynous 'phase'. Thinking my hormones will reset and I'd wake up one day and become the girl my mum always wanted me to be. It didn't happen, though.

In terms of personality I'm generally serious, observant, sincere and somewhat antisocial (but quite empathic behind the grumpiness).

I normally have either arty or intellectual interests, but I'm neither creatively nor intellectually talented. :lol:


_________________
Zombies, zombies will tear us apart...again.


Maje
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Oct 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,802

13 Jun 2011, 7:36 pm

Everywhere I go I stick out, but if I want, I can match the background, and so Im often asked for directions etc., because I can look like Im from the area, which is seldom the case. I can wear both female and male clothes, and I walk like neither a man nor a woman (more neutral). I like to mix everything that has to do with appearance, but use mostly comfortable clothes.
Im my own boss, so any company becomes scattered with me, but I guess in a positive way. I prefer the company of men, because women notice the lack of female communication, which makes most (not all) women uncomfortable with me.
I have a hard time remembering names, I remember the person if it wasnt a standard situation. If I start talking its mostly too complicated for people, so I can be in company with people without speaking about whats on my mind, but braining about it, and I often whish I could share it.
Most people bore me, unless I can fish something funny out of the person, or I find someone who can talk about interesting things.
I like dancing on big dancefloors to good music where everybody concerns their own things or are drunk. I dont like being adressed on the dancefloor, but am only there to dance.
I value company with friends, but Im also happy for the opportunity to be several days alone.



Last edited by Maje on 15 Jun 2011, 4:07 am, edited 1 time in total.

purchase
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Feb 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,385

14 Jun 2011, 10:02 am

I have extreme empathy for people, so much so that others' emotions are atmospheric for me.

I am extremely visual and can't process all the long-winded talking/gossiping a lot of NT women as well as men do.

I discovered in college I have about zero executive functioning skill. Routine must have kept me in order before.

I hated growing from a kid into a teenager. It took me until I was 18 to stop hating my adult female body and at least tolerate it.

I am bisexual and also do think of myself as half female/half male. Or really in my own genderless category.

But for social purposes I think of myself as female and adopt quite a few gender norms. Used to abhor dresses and skirts, now wear them cause I accept they're appealing on girls.

Still hate purses and always will.

Once my sister mentioned a dorm room with four boys living in it as "as messy as you'd expect a room with 4 guys living in it to be." I am certain I am messier than all 4 combined. Every so often I clean up and make things pristine but otherwise I'm slobbier than the stereotypical guy.

Hate "girl talk"/shopping/make-up (NEVER wear it)/ haircuts (I just let it grow). Feel girl talk is too deferential and supportive and indirect but got used to it. I often wish girls wrestled and roughhoused like boys. That would be fun.

Feel very uncomfortable in any traditionally female role (babysitter, etc.) but do it anyway cause I need money.

I am obsessive like other female Aspies. Very very obsessive and I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't like lukewarm feelings. That's deadness to me.

Trouble with eye contact and other interaction. Can either take stuff in or put info out (talk), not do both at once.

Learned to be submissive and deferential and I think that was the key to my passing for NT til 23. That's acceptable and somewhat expected in girls. Really though I am very competitive and driven and independent.



Villette
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 7 Feb 2010
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 415

14 Jun 2011, 5:23 pm

It's hard. It's ok for a guy to be awkward, but not a girl. And I'm a rather extreme case, being a nerd, who loves to analyse 19th century novels and read politics AND awkward. Plus my interest in shopping is minimal.

My only pals at college are 3 guys from the same country as me (I'm an international student). And we are not even close friends, or hung out together. We just talk in class and crack jokes. Even a girl pal, very quiet and awkward, succeeded in attracting friends. I think it's the chemicals really.

And then the only guy I have ever loved - I turned him down, because I was scared my awkwardness would affect our relationship, and would be a burden to him and a disgrace to me. I thought it wouldn't be honourable. Since then I haven't been able to love properly, and he's probably moved on.

Then I was going to be housemates with the 3 guys (only the place they chose was beyond my budget). Some girls thought I was loose for going to live with just 4 guys. Even though we would be in separate rooms! And I am far, far less loose than the average girl (I'm asexual).

On the plus side, my counsellor thought I looked normal. She couldn't believe I was an Aspie.



tomboy4good
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,379
Location: Irritating people everywhere

14 Jun 2011, 6:24 pm

Not officially DX'd but after taking multiple online quizzes, I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum. I'm still working on an official diagnosis.

I went from an awkward girl to an awkward woman. Few men have been interested in me, & typically I'd say those who have were probably "spectrumites" too. I've always had special interests (horses, Sci Fi, Star Trek, drawing, art, photography, music, language), learned to read at age 3. Spent most of my life with my nose in a book. Hated dresses growing up. So much so that once the dress code in elementary school was relaxed & I could wear jeans, I never looked back. Loved playing with "boys' toys" as a girl, more so than dolls. I did love stuffed animals though. Didn't play much with boys or girls because I was considered too strange. I didn't get all grossed out handling fish as a girl, nor did bugs bother me as long as they weren't jumpers. Was never good at hygiene growing up. Had no clue what I looked like during the day (probably looked like I just rolled out of bed for the most part). Was teased for not brushing my waist length hair (often matted), & it took me a long time to learn to endure shaving. Brushing teeth has also been difficult...brushing them well that is. Make up was also something that I wasn't much into as a teen. I got more into typical girlie things as I matured. Never dated in high school, nor did I have many close friends...they were more acquaintances really. More comfortable outdoors than in a mall. I have always had a preference for animals over people. I've often observed women out shopping together as a social activity but never personally engaged in the behavior (other than shopping with my mom or my girls). On those occasions, it's "get in, get what we need, & get the Hell out of there!" I hate shopping. I don't understand how some women turn it into a sport. I am also lagging behind my peers socially & emotionally. Bullied since I can remember-early childhood is when it started. Still bullied well into middle age. I'm pretty good about hygiene now though. I shower every day, wear deodorant, light make up, brush my hair & teeth, & even put on a little light cologne.

Now in high school, I learned all about color theory in an art class. Lately, I've been trying to rid my hair of the brassy undertones using stuff I learned in art. It's still something I am trying to perfect. Self-taught in hair color as I hate going to beauty shops. The assault of the smell upon arrival is enough to make me bolt for the door. I can tolerate the chemical smell at home since it's not nearly as potent. I also cut my own hair...same reason as above. I wear it either straightened, or wash & wear. Can't tolerate a hair dryer for very long...the sound annoys me. I have some pretty significant sensory issues that cause me to wear clothes that don't bind, I dress for comfort first. I turn my socks inside out (when I have to wear shoes) as I can't deal with the seams rubbing against my toes. It can cause me to have a meltdown. I still wear jeans, T-shirts, tank tops, etc. Sometimes I will actually wear a dress, but haven't for over 4 years now. Hubby has only seen me wear one once at our wedding. Luckily, he's ok with me just as I am. He's well aware of my issues. Sometimes, he even forwards me articles on Aspergers because he knows it's become one of my SIs.

Tomboy


_________________
If I do something right, no one remembers. If I do something
wrong, no one forgets.

Aspie Score: 173/200, NT score 31/200: very likely an Aspie
5/18/11: New Aspie test: 72/72
DX: Anxiety plus ADHD/Aspergers: inconclusive


jojobean
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Aug 2009
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,341
Location: In Georgia sipping a virgin pina' colada while the rest of the world is drunk

14 Jun 2011, 10:54 pm

ohhh and I really wanted to be in boy scouts...they got to go camping and learning survival skills....while I was with a bunch of prissy girls making napkin holders out of toilet paper tubes....wtf!!

I begged to go to boy scouts but they said that I was not alowed cause I am a girl. that really sucks...girls should go camping and learn suvival skills too.


_________________
All art is a kind of confession, more or less oblique. All artists, if they are to survive, are forced, at last, to tell the whole story; to vomit the anguish up.
-James Baldwin


jamieevren1210
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 May 2011
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,290
Location: 221b Baker St... (OKAY! Taipei!! Grunt)

15 Jun 2011, 12:10 am

jojobean wrote:
ohhh and I really wanted to be in boy scouts...they got to go camping and learning survival skills....while I was with a bunch of prissy girls making napkin holders out of toilet paper tubes....wtf!!

I begged to go to boy scouts but they said that I was not alowed cause I am a girl. that really sucks...girls should go camping and learn suvival skills too.


eh...i am a scout fyi, and in taiwan i actually belong in the boy scouts!:DD Scouts are almost always tolerating, and as an aspie i feel comfortable with them around:)



countzarroff
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 27 Sep 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 401
Location: Massachusetts

15 Jun 2011, 4:25 am

Yeah I don't have top credibility to talk about this too much, since I'm a guy and all, but you're probably gonna find that someone's social surrounding will shape them far more than gender and disability will.



Cad
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 17 May 2009
Gender: Female
Posts: 486
Location: Between zinc and mercury

15 Jun 2011, 4:58 am

OldFashioned wrote:
Why are so many Aspie women asexual? :cry:


Sexuality is a different ball game for girls than it is for guys. Anyway I know asexual aspie guys also.


Me personality wise? I'm fairly straight forward brusque and to the point and matter of fact. I don't generally tell people I'm AS and most people have told me I'm 'quirky,' 'odd' or 'interesting,' I dont' know if they were compliments either! I'm not very feminine but I'm emotional and compassionate and I like shopping because I'm obsessive about certain clothes...I really like wearing military style clothes and retro '80s shirts and straight leg jeans...a lot... I like organising my clothes into categories also :D I went through a thing about boots too, and love big sneakers. I'm not fashionable but I do like what I wear.

Most of my friends are guys and I like guys cause they can do something like watch TV and not have to talk and talk and talk! Most of my obsessions except for the clothes ones mentioned above are rather boyish, and people have looked at my paintings and said 'that looks like something a guy would paint' but I don't know what that means.

Being female sucks though...it pissed me off when I was told in primary school I couldn't play football cause I was a girl :evil:



Erisad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jul 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,058
Location: United States

15 Jun 2011, 7:49 am

OldFashioned wrote:
Why are so many Aspie women asexual? :cry:


Because sex sucks for some of us? How would you like to be used as a man's breathing blow-up doll, knowing you won't get any pleasure from it? :/



tomboy4good
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,379
Location: Irritating people everywhere

15 Jun 2011, 10:04 am

jojobean wrote:
ohhh and I really wanted to be in boy scouts...they got to go camping and learning survival skills....while I was with a bunch of prissy girls making napkin holders out of toilet paper tubes....wtf!!

I begged to go to boy scouts but they said that I was not alowed cause I am a girl. that really sucks...girls should go camping and learn suvival skills too.


Me too, Jojobean! I soooo wanted to go camping & do cool stuff. Girls Scouts was boring.


_________________
If I do something right, no one remembers. If I do something
wrong, no one forgets.

Aspie Score: 173/200, NT score 31/200: very likely an Aspie
5/18/11: New Aspie test: 72/72
DX: Anxiety plus ADHD/Aspergers: inconclusive


zippy-tri
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 23 May 2011
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 92

15 Jun 2011, 6:09 pm

jojobean wrote:
ohhh and I really wanted to be in boy scouts...they got to go camping and learning survival skills....while I was with a bunch of prissy girls making napkin holders out of toilet paper tubes....wtf!!

I begged to go to boy scouts but they said that I was not alowed cause I am a girl. that really sucks...girls should go camping and learn suvival skills too.


Me too! Although I loved brownies, the cubs and scouts got to do way more cool stuff. Now, my son goes to cubs and girls are allowed too, There are a few girls in the pack.
I've always been a bit of a tomboy, I never wear dresses or skirts, un;ess its fancy dress. I love combat pants and t shirts with boots. I never do anything with my hair apart from wash it and let it dry unless I'm going out somewhere, and even then I don't often bother. Not that I go out often, a night out for me is probably once every couple of years.
I wouldn't say I dislike being a woman, but that doesn't explain why I always cover the bathroom mirror with a long towel before I have a shower.
I don't really have friends, If I had 48 hour days I might have enough time to get some? but I am never bored. I spend a lot of time with my family (fairly large family) and there are people that I like to spend time with, and care about, but I don't feel any kind of drive to spend lots of time with them like some women are with their friends.
I'm much more comfortable in the company of men, so long as they don't get any funny ideas!
I'm happily married to a man who scores 30 on the aq (I score 44), I think that explains why we get on so well. I think he cheated and scores more like a 35 at least.

I'm really happy with my life now, although the years between being 12 and 22 were really baaaad. I am aboslutely convinced I could have got a diagnosis at 10 or younger, but it wasn't available, and now as an adult I don't have that option. some of my kids are getting assessed atm)

If I had known there was a reason why I am the way I am, school would have been a much easier place to be. People say asperger's labels are a bad thing. Not compared to the labels I got in school!

Reading this thread had made me even more sure I am aspie. I can relate to so many of the comments here. Nice to hear all of your comments :)