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MrMark
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17 Jun 2011, 8:10 am

Top ten myths about introverts
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

(Source: carlkingcreative.com)

http://jerrybrito.org/post/6114304704/t ... introverts


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ToughDiamond
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17 Jun 2011, 10:09 am

Looks like a strong defense of the introvert.....I haven't noticed anybody judging introversy, but I expect there is some such prejudice about it. I remember when I did a personality questionnaire years ago....I scored as an introvert. I looked at that and at the page that said it wasn't really possible to change personality traits. So I went out and proved them wrong, or at least proved that if I screw myself up for the challenge I can start a conversation with people I've never met before. Just that I can't do it as a way of life.

For me, it's what the individual feels about their own introversy that matters. If you're comfy with it, fine. I'm not comfy with mine. It's too lonely.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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17 Jun 2011, 12:11 pm

I also think this is a good article. In fact, we have a whole second post in case people are interested!

Link: Myths about Introverts
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt165002.html



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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17 Jun 2011, 12:28 pm

ToughDiamond wrote:
. . . or at least proved that if I screw myself up for the challenge I can start a conversation with people I've never met before. Just that I can't do it as a way of life. . .

Good for you! :D You added some new skills.

One thing I struggle with is phone calls. A seemingly 'simple' phone call to the bank or phone company or insurance. Well, it's going to be someone I don't know, probably disengaged, repeating the company line as if they believe or as if they just don't care. Nothing simple about it. And yes, I know I have too high expectations.



BlueMage
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17 Jun 2011, 1:52 pm

These are all true about me. :o



ToughDiamond
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19 Jun 2011, 6:07 am

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:
ToughDiamond wrote:
. . . or at least proved that if I screw myself up for the challenge I can start a conversation with people I've never met before. Just that I can't do it as a way of life. . .

Good for you! :D You added some new skills.

Well, it wasnt much of a victory in the long term. At the time I thought I'd really broken the mould, but to this day it's every bit as difficult for me to talk to people I don't know or trust. I managed it again recently, but it was probably only because I felt relatively safe......I was among longstanding friends as well, and the place was very familiar.....and even then I was getting very nervous after a sentence or two with a new person. I don't think I'll ever really get used to it - it feels more like a chimeric conjuring trick which can look impressive from a distance but has no real value. But I won't give up.

Quote:
One thing I struggle with is phone calls. A seemingly 'simple' phone call to the bank or phone company or insurance. Well, it's going to be someone I don't know, probably disengaged, repeating the company line as if they believe or as if they just don't care. Nothing simple about it. And yes, I know I have too high expectations

Again, I've done stunningly well on the phone to strangers, but I can't depend on it. I'm likely to die of old age before there's any lasting improvement.

One thing I have noticed is that my subjective feeling (about how much I fail at social gatherings) seems like it could be quite badly distorted.....several times I've caught myself feeling that I''ve been a complete flop, but then I go over the evening's events, and there's actually been very little wrong - I've talked to people, they've talked to me, they've often even complimented me, and I them. From the outside I might look pretty normal and not socially desperate or unsuccessful. Yet I still feel the "glass wall" so acutely.

I'm beginning to think that I have a huge knot inside me over being pushed away as a young child. Very recently I was close to a lady and now we're not very close. I feel horribly abandoned, but looking back over our dialogue, it seems pretty clear that although she's not always been very inviting to me, I'm the one who's backed off. Yet the way I feel, anybody would think I'd been following her down the road begging for her attention while she repeatedly told me to sod off. I feel pushed away but nobody's actually pushing me away, they're just not throwing buckets of reassurance at me, and quite likely the only reason they aren't is because I hide the fact that I'd like them to do that for me.