Share an "aspie moment"...

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My aspie moments in the last couple days:

- Got my teeth cleaned. Hated every minute of it, mostly because of the lady kept jabbering, cracking jokes and laughing at her own jokes. On the way back I mentioned that I hated that lady, and they always gave me the same person to do my dental cleaning (this is a large practice with many people). DH said he hated her, too and wish he can get a silent one. We laughed about that. It's been a few years and we never told each other we had the same hygienist and both hated her enough to want to fire her. Well guess next time we'll find someone different.

- Went to a large party tonight. I managed to recognize two people on my own(when I should have known at least 30). One very good friend grew a beard so I didn't recognize him. Another didn't wear his glasses, luckily he was with his cute wife and I managed to know who he was. Missed a lady I met many times before because she was wearing very high heels, and I always remembered her as the same height as me. On the other hand I kept staring at a guy because I thought he looks just like the mayor, a lady who I thought looks identical to my son's teacher, but they couldn't possibly be because DH said they're his co-workers. Gosh I wish everyone would wear name tags. How could I socialize without knowing who's who? And why do people change their looks so much?

I bought a laptop through mail-order, and it was delivered while I was not at my home, so the delivery company left my parcel with a neighbour who lives four houses along the street from where I live. I had never spoken to the neighbour before, I was not really sure of who lived at the house, so I was anxious as I set off to acquire my new computer from them. As I walked along the road to the neighbour's residence, my train of thought went along the lines of: What if they deny receiving my parcel, and keep it? Unlikely. They could do that. I would have to contact the firm I bought the laptop from, and it would be their problem. I tried to imagine my neighbour denying having received my package, I found it absurd and amusing.

The neighbour answered their door, he had my package. 'That looks expensive', he said. I recognised him, I had seen him driving a large white van. A small boy was partially hidden behind his legs. I was stumped for anything to say. 'It is my new laptop', I countered. This was not enough though, something was telling me I should say something more, may be even something 'friendly', but what could I say? I recounted to them my train of thought as I walked to their house, and how I had been considering the possibility that they might dishonestly keep my laptop for themselves. Fail.

I was at a friend's party and was focusing on the conversation with some people who were there. In the middle of the conversation I knocked my drink over, but because I was concentrating on the conversation I just looked at it blankly for a few seconds then returned to speaking. People started laughing at me and got cloths to clear it up.

My mother and grandma were talking about someone who had just died.
I took note of the info and then zoned out; I started thinking to how my coffee was about to finish and that I had to buy a new box.
While they were talking about the funeral we had to go to, I interrupted them blurting out: "On the way, we MUST remember to stop and buy coffee".

Of course I was reported as inappropriate and callous and blah blah.

I hate it when people walk behind me. Last night my mother came up the stairs behind me and I kept looking over my shoulder to see if she was going to try to plunge a knife into my back. Also last night she called me into her room to say goodnight to my dog, and fleetingly I thought that it might be a ploy and she was going to try to kill me. (She isn't violent, we hadn't argued, she's never even raised a hand to me and logically she has no reason to kill me, yet I suspect everyone of it all the time at the back of my mind.)

Staying home on weekends...no one to hang out with. There, those are examples of aspie moments.

A shared Aspie moment, really. My NT husband was trying to teach our AS son to play cricket. I was watching. My husband's instruction to my son was: 'Now, just watch the ball' as he bowled. My son watched it. I watched it. We both watched as the ball sailed through the air past my son's cricket bat, and we were mighty pleased with ourselves!

My husband: "What are you doing? Why didn't you even try to hit the ball?!"

My son and I, totally perplexed: "Because you told me (him) to watch the ball!".

Now that is some good stuff.

We had a meeting at work about wasting time. It sucked because they used me as an example as how to use your time wisely, I got the usual brownnoser comments. The boss mentioned how this guy would spend 20 minutes in the toilet but we could hear him walking around and talking on his cellphone or playing games on it. The boss told him he might as well be eating his lunch in there for the amount of time he was in there. So I said to him don't you know if your eating lunch in the crapper your exposing yourself to your poop molecules and other peoples poop molecules. Thats pretty disgusting. Everyone laughed they thought I was screwing around but I really thought the boss was yelling at him for eating his lunch in the bathroom. He got the nicknames "The toilet nazi" and "Shiteater" from it.