Are you a push over?

Post Reply New Topic

I am 17 male with ASD and all my life people walk over me and say that I am a easy target and they like to walk over me. People say I'm to easy to pick on or that I'm not worth the time because I'm so pathetic. Is there a way I can't be such a push over? I don't want to get into fights because I don't want to get grounded. I am a nice person and I don't do anything bad but people always seem to just walk over me and pick on me. Is this just me?

It's not just you. This has been my experience pretty much all of my life.
I wish I had some kind of advice, but at least know that you're not alone.
I hope you take comfort in the fact that the emotion of it all will dull as you get older. I've become somewhat hardened and have a tough exterior, people don't pick on me anymore, but I still get taken advantage of a LOT. I'm really working on that - never be afraid to tell people NO. If you don't want to help someone move, or fix their computer, or whatever, it's better to say NO than to do it and begrudge them for it.

I'm either a total pushover or a raging psychotic, with no in between.

i'm a pushover but only so far. if i am cornered with nothing left to lose, i will fight back to the death. but short of being forced into it, i don't think it's worth my time to fight anybody over anything. i just want to be left alone and if i have to say "ok, fella, you're the winner, you can have whatever you want" to get some ahole off my back and to leave me alone, then so be it, as long as it doesn't cost me any money.

i used to be and still am to a point. i tend to tolerate things for a while but eventually i confront such adversity with intensity.

The truth is, in high school, a lot of guys are just as*holes and won't respect anything except a punch in the nose. When you're not good with words and you don't have friends to back you up, sometimes fighting IS your best option, because it tells people that you can be pushed too far. I would ignore any words people say to you but push off any kind of touching or throwing things at you with force. Nobody has the right, ever, to stand in your way, touch you or toss things at you against your will.

As for your parents grounding you, well, you just have to decide which is more important, a week without video games or self respect. You're 17 years old, old enough to join the army, being grounded should not be a concern.

I feel like I kind of am but I am trying not to be because I hate people taking advantage of it.

I used to be a total pushover because I didn't know to behave properly so the easiest way was to do what I was told. Now I'm starting to recognize passive agressive and manipulative beahviours in other people I know when I'm being used. Having support is good, it's a bit easier to stand up for yourself when you have someone on your side. Always question authority

First you need to be able to identify reasonable boundaries and determine when it's ok to say no to people. Determining these boundaries can be difficult for someone with AS to do.

When you do determine these boundaries, you don't have to get into physical fights to enforce them. You just have to say no and stand your ground, or tell people what is acceptable and what isn't.

For example, I've been helping someone with a project and we had made plans during the week to meet for lunch this weekend. I allowed him to pick the time. The night before he contacted and proposed we meet for breakfast instead. That was too early for me so I declined and dinner was decided upon at a particular time. That day, he contacted me again telling me wouldn't be leaving a local theme park until a particular time and asked if we could meet after dinner.

What? Theme park? No I don't think so. It's not ok to cancel on me when I'm taking time out of my day for his benefit, so he could go to a theme park with other friends, and I wasn't even invited. I already had to re-juggle my schedule once for him. He canceled on lunch, now he was canceling on dinner and wanted to meet at a time that was too late for me.

I told him I couldn't do that. I wasn't going to inconvenience myself for him when he had no qualms about canceling on me so he could go to a theme park.

I told him if he wanted to meet it would have to be another time.

No. I am anything but. The weird thing though is that the only people I ever got along with were/are pushovers.

I refuse to be, although sometimes I give into the pressure, mostly from my friends and family though, and it's rarely anything too serious and it's mostly out of kindness. =D

I used to be, now I overreact and go psycho when I feel like people have crossed the line. It's probably from bad experiences.

same here, dude.


Develop the things you are interested in. Get so good at them that you begin to command respect. This will help you to build self-confidence, which will eventually cause you to not be such a push over.

Now I'm off to practice what I preach...

same here

Theres no doubt I'm a push over. I like making people happy, and unfortunately that leads to people taking advantage :/

I try to please people so that they will like me, and it leads me to doing things I don't want to do, and not being able to say no.

I hate it.