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Noop
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08 Aug 2011, 11:25 am

I think I might be somewhere on the spectrum, but I'm really not sure. :? I very much like the idea of kissing & hugging people I like and I get 'crushes', but I don't have much desire to have actual sex, I don't think. I think an 'underpants on' type of scenario would probably be perfect for me. :lol: I feel sorry for anyone who dares to try going out with me...



MagicMeerkat
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08 Aug 2011, 11:40 am

I think mine is because my intense distrust of everyone. Both male and female. I can't even make causal friends aparently, why does anyone think I could have a mate? What irks me even more is why society thinks I need a partner to be happy.


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swbluto
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08 Aug 2011, 12:59 pm

MagicMeerkat wrote:
I think mine is because my intense distrust of everyone. Both male and female. I can't even make causal friends aparently, why does anyone think I could have a mate? What irks me even more is why society thinks I need a partner to be happy.


Your personality sounds angry and I like that. :)



bluecountry
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08 Aug 2011, 1:15 pm

Jonsi wrote:
bluecountry wrote:
Jonsi wrote:
bluecountry wrote:
If I am in my late 20s, never having sex, and only masterbate when I get frustrated (upset at not getting an A on a test) AND if I only masterbate through 'rubbing' my *****, if I have never been able to do a hand job, am I likely asexual?

Are you sexually attracted to anything? If yes, you are not asexual, if no, we'll talk.

Perhaps we should PM.
Look I never, ever, get aroused unless I am frustrated.
If I see a good looking girl, I do not care.

What matters to me is being good looking, looking muscular and strong.
If I see somebody who is my age, and has the body I want, I may get a little attrached as in wanting to be their close friend so I can feel cool...but do I want sexual relations? Not really, unless it is a means to end...the end being I can say "Hey...I am cool...because I got closer than anybody else to the cool kid".

However, if I see a good looking person, I never have tried and been in relations, but I can say, I NEVER have been able to "get off" to somebody because I thought they looked good.
I can only "get off" if I am frustrated that person X is bigger and stronger than me or scored better on a test than me.

When I am feeling good about myself, and my body, I can weeks without masterbating.

I am a loner, so I don't know if my lack of sex is due to poor social skills, or simply, that I do not care.
Part of me thinks if I got confidence and could get 'some' that I would be like a kid with credit card and go nuts.
Part of me thinks though I just might struggle, at least at first, to get off, because again I NEVER get off unless I am frustrated and the getting off serves as release for it...and I never get off by a hand job.

PM me if you wish.
I have always wondered if I am asexual or just somebody whose sex ID has yet to be determined due to isolation.

Well, I can say you definitely show signs of it. You'll have to do tons of research and whatnot, and even then you might not know.

I've been looking for a long time. Asexual is just what fits. I think I'm either that or in the grey area.

Just go with what you feel though. Only you can only really know what you are. :D

Ugh....sounds like a lot of research and ambiguity!

If someone is 'asexual' I can't help but wonder if this really is a concrete definition or more or less a phase which you can shake off.
Example, if all the sudden I get confidence, become more social, and get close with somebody for a long period of time, if that itself could get me to become more non asexual.



swbluto
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08 Aug 2011, 2:01 pm

So this is why neurotypicals far outnumber aspies - they aren't nearly as asexual. I was thinking for a long time there was some evolutionary disadvantage to autistic traits, but the primary disadvantage apparently is asexuality.



Noop
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08 Aug 2011, 4:08 pm

swbluto wrote:
So this is why neurotypicals far outnumber aspies - they aren't nearly as asexual. I was thinking for a long time there was some evolutionary disadvantage to autistic traits, but the primary disadvantage apparently is asexuality.

Makes sense to me. :lol:



Callista
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08 Aug 2011, 4:11 pm

I don't think it's a disadvantage. Having asexual people in society is a benefit to the society because you've got extra pairs of hands, and more adults working to make a good life for fewer children means quality upbringing for the children. So, quality over quantity. Rather than spamming kids and hoping some of them survive, societies with lots of non-reproducing members will work to make sure that every kid gets all the benefits they can give. The asexual and other non-reproducing members will pass on their traits though their siblings' offspring. They'll also pass on information to the rest of their society--remember that more than just passing on DNA, humans pass on information, and you can't discount that when you're talking about what we inherit from others.


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08 Aug 2011, 4:13 pm

I can't remember ever looking at someone and having a desire to land them in bed. I think this is related to having ASD, but I know several NTs who are actually not interested in having sex but feign interest or actually do it because of social reasons. Wishing to please, etc.
I think I am more on the demisexual side though. Considering that I am married, I can manage marital stuff but in no way I could be persuaded, forced (bar accidents) or made in any way go through the motions with anyone else. Too much effort and it requires interaction too, which I generally avoid.



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08 Aug 2011, 4:24 pm

Noop wrote:
swbluto wrote:
So this is why neurotypicals far outnumber aspies - they aren't nearly as asexual. I was thinking for a long time there was some evolutionary disadvantage to autistic traits, but the primary disadvantage apparently is asexuality.

Makes sense to me. :lol:


We aspies probably were the only humans originally. Then some of us mutated into NTs and started reproducing at an extreme rate. That's just my theory though.

I say that because the aspie brain seems to be advantageous in many situations for survival. With hypersensitivity and an ability to focus persistently on hunting, it's easy to see why. The NT brain seems to be advantageous for attracting mates, but not much else. In the days of the caveman, the aspies would be the ones making cloths and arrowheads, while the NTs sit around the fire (most likely discovered by aspies) chatting.


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peaceloveerin
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08 Aug 2011, 4:29 pm

Does anyone feel asexual due to SSRI medications for anxiety and depression? I've heard they can lower your sex drive quite a bit, so maybe this is why I'm asexual but I honestly feel its the way I am by nature.



Noop
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08 Aug 2011, 4:38 pm

SammichEater wrote:
Noop wrote:
swbluto wrote:
So this is why neurotypicals far outnumber aspies - they aren't nearly as asexual. I was thinking for a long time there was some evolutionary disadvantage to autistic traits, but the primary disadvantage apparently is asexuality.

Makes sense to me. :lol:


We aspies probably were the only humans originally. Then some of us mutated into NTs and started reproducing at an extreme rate. That's just my theory though.

I say that because the aspie brain seems to be advantageous in many situations for survival. With hypersensitivity and an ability to focus persistently on hunting, it's easy to see why. The NT brain seems to be advantageous for attracting mates, but not much else. In the days of the caveman, the aspies would be the ones making cloths and arrowheads, while the NTs sit around the fire (most likely discovered by aspies) chatting.

Ouch. The poor NTs are getting a hard hit today. Interesting theory though.



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08 Aug 2011, 5:35 pm

The NT brain seems to be advantageous for attracting mates, but not much else. In the days of the caveman, the aspies would be the ones making cloths and arrowheads, while the NTs sit around the fire (most likely discovered by aspies) chatting.[/quote]

Liked that :D



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09 Aug 2011, 10:26 pm

swbluto wrote:
MagicMeerkat wrote:
I think mine is because my intense distrust of everyone. Both male and female. I can't even make causal friends aparently, why does anyone think I could have a mate? What irks me even more is why society thinks I need a partner to be happy.


Your personality sounds angry and I like that. :)


:D


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peaceloveerin
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09 Aug 2011, 11:06 pm

I'm guessing a majority of you who are asexual are female. There aren't many men who are asexual since men in general have higher sex drives.



jackbus01
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11 Aug 2011, 4:13 am

peaceloveerin wrote:
Does anyone feel asexual due to SSRI medications for anxiety and depression? I've heard they can lower your sex drive quite a bit, so maybe this is why I'm asexual but I honestly feel its the way I am by nature.


Are you attracted to men or women when you do have a sex drive? That might answer your question. SSRIs can lower your libido but they will not change your sexual orientation (nothing can).



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11 Aug 2011, 4:19 am

peaceloveerin wrote:
I'm guessing a majority of you who are asexual are female. There aren't many men who are asexual since men in general have higher sex drives.


um, no there are plenty of asexual men. Like me for example.