mistaken pride

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anyone ever mistake your aspergers condition for pride and treat you like s**t? i think my whole family hates me and think im making the whole aspergers thing up life is hard

I don't know. All I know is that a lot of people find me unpleasant and unapproachable, even though I'm not aware of anything that I say or do that's so unpleasant.

exactly is this something we just have to deal with

What do you mean?

Someone has come up to me before and told me that I act like I think I'm better than everyone else. I'm not sure how I do that. It might be a mixture of not talking to people very often and not making eye contact easily. If anything, I envy them for their ability to get along with each other without trying.

It happened last year during an argument with my mother-in-law. She told me that she was sick of me always going on about my daughter and what she could do, etc. In fact, I never spoke about her in that way at all. I had absolutely nothing in common with my MIL, until my daughter came along. So at last, I thought I had something to speak about, with her. I would basically given her a rundown of the week's events, i.e. we went to a gym class, swimming and perhaps a puppet show. At no point did I ever say, 'We went to a gym class and she's going to the Olympics', or anything like it. How is that being boastful? I think a lot of it comes from jealousy (an emotion I don't do). She prefers her other daughter-in-law and she couldn't afford to take her kids to the activities that I take my daughter to. Not that we have a huge income, we're just better at spending our cash wisely.

MummyofPeanut, I think that aspies can have communication problems and can be obsessive.

However, that does not preclude the non-aspie you're trying to communicate with from being an obnoxious MIL playing favourites with her family, and favouring the DIL she might have more in common with, i.e. a similar lower IQ and lesser aspirations and abilities. Does that make sense?

The more you say, the more we get an idea as to how much attention should be paid to criticism from her.

I had a lot of Pride without realizing it. Pride is when a person sees themselves as better than others -- and it's pretty easy to arrive at that view if you are relatively isolated and don't give much thought to other people. I realized very slowly (late-twenties) that I need to avoid talking about the things I love and how capable I am at them, and instead try to focus on the other person and try to build their self-esteem. People don't like being overlooked, and would prefer to listen to someone compliment their qualities and abilities rather than listen to someone talk about themselves. To us it seems we are just talking about the things we love, but to them it's extremely negative and evokes jealousy/envy, and seems egocentric and prideful.

My mother thinks I'm arrogant, yes.

But screw it - I think she's just jealous of my supreme awesomeness.

I'm sure we can be considered very aloof, uncaring and self-interested, which might be thought of as excessive pride. Nobody's ever accused me of any of that though.

My mom has told me a few times that I act snobby, but that's pretty much it.

hello, first post.

all the time, I struggle with putting my self in other peoples' shoes and don't understand why some people get offended at my sense of humor.