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marshall
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09 Sep 2011, 12:30 pm

Low self-esteem doesn't cause depression but rather low self-esteem is a side effect of depression induced anhedonia. It's difficult to feel positive about yourself if you have trouble accessing positive emotion in the first place. Having people try to force me to "think positive" does jack s**t if there is no accompanying positive emotion to experience. Unfortunately people who haven't experienced clinical depression have no ability to conceptualize this. Personally, I'm better off not focusing on my own self-worth period. No matter how much praise people try to shower on me to make me feel better, I'm still going to feel self-critical deep down. That is my nature. I'm critical of everyone and everything, including myself. I'm happiest when I completely lose sight of my "self" because I'm completely absorbed in something more stimulating and enjoyable.

Personally, I think our whole culture is way too obsessed with the whole notion of "self-this" "self-that", i.e self-improvement, self-help, positive self-image, etc... Who gives a s**t? Why can't I just freaking exist and try to find my own happiness? Why do I have to constantly be thinking about my "self". Our sick culture imposes this misery on people.



pree10shun
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09 Sep 2011, 12:36 pm

marshall wrote:
Low self-esteem doesn't cause depression but rather low self-esteem is a side effect of depression induced anhedonia. It's difficult to feel positive about yourself if you have trouble accessing positive emotion in the first place. Having people try to force me to "think positive" does jack sh** if there is no accompanying positive emotion to experience. Unfortunately people who haven't experienced clinical depression have no ability to conceptualize this. Personally, I'm better off not focusing on my own self-worth period. No matter how much praise people try to shower on me to make me feel better, I'm still going to feel self-critical deep down. That is my nature. I'm critical of everyone and everything, including myself. I'm happiest when I completely lose sight of my "self" because I'm completely absorbed in something more stimulating and enjoyable.

Personally, I think our whole culture is way too obsessed with the whole notion of "self-this" "self-that", i.e self-improvement, self-help, positive self-image, etc... Who gives a sh**? Why can't I just freaking exist and try to find my own happiness? Why do I have to constantly be thinking about my "self". Our sick culture imposes this misery on people.


I think my self esteem issues depress me. My root cause of low self esteem began when I could not communicate with people around me without them thinking I was weird and different. I regained some of my self confidence when I started actually connecting with people I started socializing with 8 years ago.



Sweetleaf
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09 Sep 2011, 12:36 pm

marshall wrote:
Low self-esteem doesn't cause depression but rather low self-esteem is a side effect of depression induced anhedonia. It's difficult to feel positive about yourself if you have trouble accessing positive emotion in the first place. Having people try to force me to "think positive" does jack sh** if there is no accompanying positive emotion to experience. Unfortunately people who haven't experienced clinical depression have no ability to conceptualize this. Personally, I'm better off not focusing on my own self-worth period. No matter how much praise people try to shower on me to make me feel better, I'm still going to feel self-critical deep down. That is my nature. I'm critical of everyone and everything, including myself. I'm happiest when I completely lose sight of my "self" because I'm completely absorbed in something more stimulating and enjoyable.

Personally, I think our whole culture is way too obsessed with the whole notion of "self-this" "self-that", i.e self-improvement, self-help, positive self-image, etc... Who gives a sh**? Why can't I just freaking exist and try to find my own happiness? Why do I have to constantly be thinking about my "self". Our sick culture imposes this misery on people.


Yeah a lot of times I feel like I don't really have a lot of positive emotions to experiance in the first place. Then of course people just get even more angry at you if you are honest about it because they feel like not being 'happy' is a crime.



marshall
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09 Sep 2011, 1:22 pm

pree10shun wrote:
marshall wrote:
Low self-esteem doesn't cause depression but rather low self-esteem is a side effect of depression induced anhedonia. It's difficult to feel positive about yourself if you have trouble accessing positive emotion in the first place. Having people try to force me to "think positive" does jack sh** if there is no accompanying positive emotion to experience. Unfortunately people who haven't experienced clinical depression have no ability to conceptualize this. Personally, I'm better off not focusing on my own self-worth period. No matter how much praise people try to shower on me to make me feel better, I'm still going to feel self-critical deep down. That is my nature. I'm critical of everyone and everything, including myself. I'm happiest when I completely lose sight of my "self" because I'm completely absorbed in something more stimulating and enjoyable.

Personally, I think our whole culture is way too obsessed with the whole notion of "self-this" "self-that", i.e self-improvement, self-help, positive self-image, etc... Who gives a sh**? Why can't I just freaking exist and try to find my own happiness? Why do I have to constantly be thinking about my "self". Our sick culture imposes this misery on people.


I think my self esteem issues depress me. My root cause of low self esteem began when I could not communicate with people around me without them thinking I was weird and different. I regained some of my self confidence when I started actually connecting with people I started socializing with 8 years ago.


I think everyone is different and not all depression is the same. Depression issues caused by lack of self-esteem are different from a biologically rooted depression which causes negative self-esteem by wiping out the ability to feel positive about anything relating to life as a whole or intrinsic self-value because it all seems empty, vain, and meaningless.



marshall
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09 Sep 2011, 1:39 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
marshall wrote:
Low self-esteem doesn't cause depression but rather low self-esteem is a side effect of depression induced anhedonia. It's difficult to feel positive about yourself if you have trouble accessing positive emotion in the first place. Having people try to force me to "think positive" does jack sh** if there is no accompanying positive emotion to experience. Unfortunately people who haven't experienced clinical depression have no ability to conceptualize this. Personally, I'm better off not focusing on my own self-worth period. No matter how much praise people try to shower on me to make me feel better, I'm still going to feel self-critical deep down. That is my nature. I'm critical of everyone and everything, including myself. I'm happiest when I completely lose sight of my "self" because I'm completely absorbed in something more stimulating and enjoyable.

Personally, I think our whole culture is way too obsessed with the whole notion of "self-this" "self-that", i.e self-improvement, self-help, positive self-image, etc... Who gives a sh**? Why can't I just freaking exist and try to find my own happiness? Why do I have to constantly be thinking about my "self". Our sick culture imposes this misery on people.


Yeah a lot of times I feel like I don't really have a lot of positive emotions to experiance in the first place. Then of course people just get even more angry at you if you are honest about it because they feel like not being 'happy' is a crime.


They get angry because they can't relate or understand and thus think you are just being stubborn or choosing to feel unhappy. :wall: Either that or they feel so helpless in their inability to "solve" the problem for you (which makes them uncomfortable and frustrated), that they pretend they can emotionally justify shifting the blame to the victim. They can't just accept that something like mental illness is what it is and there is no simple fix, but compassion and respect go a lot further than frustration and attacks.



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09 Sep 2011, 1:52 pm

I do think in a way, sometimes people are born with lower self-esteem but that only goes so far. The way you are raised probably has a lot to do with it. Im actually very curious to know how people develop low self-esteem. I think its easy to develop low self-esteem if your an aspie because people keep telling you your doing something wrong.

Even when your doing something fine, people will tell you its not good enough. Then normally I start to feel so bad about myself because what Im doing is not good enough and working really hard. And then I get really confused because I actually believe that Im not working hard enough and I start to feel really bad. Then it contributes to the all, Im so flawed, Im not good enough. Then with friendships, I'll do something on accident to mess something up leading to negative self talk again.

I told myself I had to throw the idea of the idealisted women out the F-in window. Just because Im not warm and compassionate, nice, sweet and have nice manners and I always dont reciprocate other women's emotions doesnt make me any less of a women.



tomboy4good
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09 Sep 2011, 2:42 pm

I am pretty sure I was not born with low self-esteem. It was more likely caused by constantly being told I was more or less garbage growing up. By the time I was into the mid-elementary school years, I had no friends, teachers & my parents hated me, & I was bullied at school, in home, & everywhere in between. I also heard that even my birthmother rejected me (left without even so much as a good bye right after I was born to go back to her family which was hundreds of miles away). She purposefully had me as far away from home as possible. So what I heard was lack of anyone who liked me (this includes self-like) +lack of love=reject. My self-esteem was pretty much shot by that point. I wasn't even 10 years old at that point. I just got so used to being beaten down all the time, that there was no point in fighting. I caved in to the majority rules & is right way of thinking. I did have a teacher who used to say to us kids that "You are somebody, you can do it." But I felt her words didn't apply to me. She also bullied me.

Still suffer from it today. Feel useless & worthless because I have never been able to do anything right. The negative self-talk (mostly my mom & dad's voices) doesn't help. But I have never been able to shake it. Took Prozak (on several occasions) for a while which was supposed to make me feel better, but didn't help at all.


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LiendaBalla
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09 Sep 2011, 3:29 pm

Passive behavior doesn't equal low self-esteem.



Sweetleaf
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09 Sep 2011, 3:32 pm

LiendaBalla wrote:
Passive behavior doesn't equal low self-esteem.


True, however passive behavior can be more likely with low self esteem.



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09 Sep 2011, 3:37 pm

LiendaBalla wrote:
Passive behavior doesn't equal low self-esteem.


People never seem to understand that. I'm extremely passive, but I have quite a bit of self-esteem.


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marshall
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09 Sep 2011, 3:37 pm

I don't think people are born with low self-esteem. I think some people are born more sensitive to things like bullying, criticism, or failures than others. Therefore some are more likely to develop low self-esteem. Some people are also born being more susceptible to developing chronic depression or dysthymia in their teen years or early adulthood and this also causes low self-esteem as I explained before.



marshall
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09 Sep 2011, 3:50 pm

SammichEater wrote:
LiendaBalla wrote:
Passive behavior doesn't equal low self-esteem.


People never seem to understand that. I'm extremely passive, but I have quite a bit of self-esteem.


There are also people in the world who don't seem to understand that having an outwardly passive demeanor gives them permission to talk down to you or otherwise act like a douchebag.



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09 Sep 2011, 4:59 pm

I think i got a fair bit of self-esteem. And most of the time i feel it slide, its when i have flashbacks to all the bullying made by other children. - And my father! - Who is quite charismatic, and manipulative! But behind his mask, just as troubled as the rest of us!


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pree10shun
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09 Sep 2011, 5:09 pm

marshall wrote:
SammichEater wrote:
LiendaBalla wrote:
Passive behavior doesn't equal low self-esteem.


People never seem to understand that. I'm extremely passive, but I have quite a bit of self-esteem.


There are also people in the world who don't seem to understand that having an outwardly passive demeanor gives them permission to talk down to you or otherwise act like a douchebag.


Yes, never understood why people thought I had low self esteem just because I was being passive.



puddingmouse
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09 Sep 2011, 5:30 pm

pree10shun wrote:
I always thought t'was because my mom has low self esteem that I also have low self esteem. My issues with esteem began pretty early. Sometimes I can be very confident though.


Same here. My mum has very low self-esteem. I think the habits of high or low self esteem are largely copied from out parents.


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fleurdelily
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09 Sep 2011, 5:42 pm

I was born with a low self esteem, as I was an unwanted baby, and I was abandoned by my mother at birth. I was left at the hospital three days, then sent to foster care for 6 months, then sent to live with two alcoholics who adopted me, and then divorced, and then he comitted suicide just after she remarried..... I would go on, but this already sounds like fiction. I wish it were.... but unfortunately it's not.


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