Any advice for a sister?

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My twin bro and I are 26 years old, he is diagnosed with Aspergers/General anxiety disorder. We are experiencing lots of life changes recently and my bro is having a tough time: He graduated from uni in January and is still unemployed, in March our grandma to whom he's very close passed away, in April I got home from living abroad for two years and married my long-term boyfriend. My bro is still living at home while my husband and I are 900 miles away.

My grandpa and dad are fighting a lot since my grandma died and my bro only feeds into it. He likes to get into daily shouting matches with my dad, who is too insecure and clingy to just let go of my bro and let him make his own mistakes. My bro would be fine at home except it's not what he wants for the long-term, plus the constant anxiety in the household is wearing on my parents, and basically the relationship between my dad and bro gets more toxic all the time.

My bro is very knowledgeable in his interest areas, has had some successful part-time employment, and can learn to do many things that he finds stressful if it is broken down step-by-step. Sometimes he needs extra reminders or "moral support" doing routine tasks, but he definitely can do them. Social interaction makes him anxious but he can do quite well and be charming under the right circumstances, especially in practiced circumstances. He is very smart and wants to live on his own, have friends, a career, romantic relationships, but just seems clueless as to how to actually do it, and I think basically has very low self-esteem, and fairly low awareness of his actual strengths and weaknesses. But, he doesn't want to get help, and he is definitely not open to getting help from me or my parents, since we represent the status quo he wants to push against.

We all want him to accomplish all his goals and be relatively content. And, my parents want him to recognize that he has responsibilities and he does not have the right to make their lives miserable, especially when they are putting a roof over his head. (plus buying food, paying his car insurance, putting gas in the car, etc.) We need to find a situation that works for everyone. My dad is simply closed to family therapy and won't be changed. I think there's still hope for my bro, though.

How can we get him on the path he wants to be on? He does not identity with the label of Aspergers, so communities like this one I don't think would work. He had a pediatric therapist he saw but seems resistant to finding a new one. I think just getting a job would help him out, but in his chosen field there is very little paid entry-level work (it's mostly volunteer). Also he is kind of clueless on the job search (including told my mom several times that he applied for jobs he didn't apply for) and staunchly opposed to working at McDonalds or someplace just to get a paycheck and get out on his own.

Any advice from the trenches?

There a couple of things I've learned over the years:
1. Internet applications won't get you hired. You have to be at the company in person. That means your brother has to hit the bricks, go from business to business, see what employers are looking for. I can't help but think he's probably being babied by your father. He's just have to swallow his pride and take a job at Wendy's or Burger King.
2. People who get babied and live at home stay there forever. They may even have kids or finally get employed but stay with their parents forever. We have somebody like that in my family. He's 51 years old.

First your parents need to stop paying his car bills. Next, no using the family TV or family computer. Then they need to tell him to get help or get a job, or they will put him in a group home for disabled people. He is not motivated to help himself, and is adding to the stress in the household, which is stressing him more, which is making him add more stress to the house, and so on, and so on, etc. So, he needs to be motivated to improve his behavior, or get out of the house. If he won't get help or a job, then they need to put him in a group home situation. I know it's tough, but he is not even trying to fix things, and is actually making things worse.

Thanks for the advice. I think it's a good point that my parents need to find a way to convince him to bite the bullet and get employment of some description.