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CockneyRebel
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23 Sep 2011, 10:36 am

Surfman wrote:
I think God is okay with cures, many ill people pray to god to be well again. You will always have AS, but it can be better if the crying is distressing you. I dont think its good to cry too much

Its not an easy life for so many others too, you are not alone. I cant cry at all, but wish I could sometimes, so we are kinda the same, in a way.

No one wants to know about my special interests either. I hardly tell anyone anything like that.

I found this old WP thread that may offer some strategies

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt19024.html

I hope you manage to cry less Cockneyrebel as I dont think it helps too much, I'm sure its achievable if good stratagems and changes are made


I would control my crying if I could. I'm also talking about the other self control. Bathroom issues. I still don't wish to be cured and if anybody tried to cure me, they would be sorry because they wouldn't be able to stand up for a week. That would be the first time that I'd inflict personal pain on anybody.


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CockneyRebel
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23 Sep 2011, 10:41 am

auntblabby wrote:
to the OP: i don't have perfect control over myself either. and i cry a lot over various things. nobody wants to know about me and mine, either. so you are not suffering alone. you are the leading poster in a forum full of people you have much in common with. and remember, the only person whose opinion about you really matters more than anything else, is in your mirror.


You're right about that and my opinion is that I'm a worthwhile person and that I don't annoy other members on purpose. Another opinion is that I'm not getting enough help with my Anxiety, so I'm going to The Health Food Store to get some natural pills that will help with that. Another opinion that I have about myself is that being on the spectrum and the intensity of being a Kinks Fan that is added to my makeup makes me a much more interesting person than I would be if I wasn't on the spectrum.


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Twolf
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23 Sep 2011, 10:42 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
You hardly ever cry or feel the need to cry. You don't have a burning desire to share your special interests with the feeling of needing to censor yourselves in fear of annoying other WP members, and you have perfect control of your bodily functions. I still don't ant a cure, because a cure is an insult to me. For someone to push the cure on me would be like them asking God, "How dare you make that person the way that you did?"


I want to let you in on something I haven't told anyone else - I'm worried. I'm worried because most of my emotions feel gone. I believe that crying is a healthy thing - a natural release valve of sorts. It gets rid of stress chemicals and generally will make you feel better.

I tend to keep my mouth shut when it comes to special interests. I was heavily ridiculed as a child when I shared them, so I learned very fast to keep them to myself. No one's interested in my stuff anyways, just me.

Yes, I too am fortunate to have bodily function control.

I agree with you on not wanting a cure.

I hope that you feel better soon.



swbluto
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23 Sep 2011, 10:45 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
You hardly ever cry or feel the need to cry. You don't have a burning desire to share your special interests with the feeling of needing to censor yourselves in fear of annoying other WP members.


I pretty regularly cry when certain topics cross my mind, mainly themes relating to death and love.

Also, you should have no problems sharing your special interests through your own threads in the appropriate forums or subforums. People who aren't interested in your special interest won't reply, and those who do generally get annoyed by your obsession and bother to reply will tend to be few in number.

Personally, I've found when I ramble on and on about a particular special interest in a post (Like integrals) , people just ignore it. And that's totally expected and fine with me.



CockneyRebel
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23 Sep 2011, 1:20 pm

Twolf wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:
You hardly ever cry or feel the need to cry. You don't have a burning desire to share your special interests with the feeling of needing to censor yourselves in fear of annoying other WP members, and you have perfect control of your bodily functions. I still don't ant a cure, because a cure is an insult to me. For someone to push the cure on me would be like them asking God, "How dare you make that person the way that you did?"


I want to let you in on something I haven't told anyone else - I'm worried. I'm worried because most of my emotions feel gone. I believe that crying is a healthy thing - a natural release valve of sorts. It gets rid of stress chemicals and generally will make you feel better.

I tend to keep my mouth shut when it comes to special interests. I was heavily ridiculed as a child when I shared them, so I learned very fast to keep them to myself. No one's interested in my stuff anyways, just me.

Yes, I too am fortunate to have bodily function control.

I agree with you on not wanting a cure.

I hope that you feel better soon.


My parents chastised me every time that I would talk about a special interest as a child. I didn't feel accepted or loved in my childhood home all that much because of it. There was one afternoon after school, when I was in Grade 9. My mum said, "Don't you be talking to your friends about your special interests, because once your bullies find out what you like, they're going to start bugging you about it." Well, let's just say that I didn't talk to my friends about anything after that and if I did talk to my friends about different things, I made sure that my typical peers were far away from me, so that they wouldn't hear anything that I had to talk about. They say that High School years are the best years of your life. Yeah, right!


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Kiana
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23 Sep 2011, 1:24 pm

Hi CockneyRebel

I know we have never spoken, but your posts were among the ones that stood out to me the day I joined WP as one of the members who spoke a lot of sense, I have always read your posts, and I believe I have learned from some of your insights

I think it is a small minority who think it's wrong to ramble on about an interest, after all we all do it... or not do it as we learn to bottle it up, but it's still in our thoughts

If I see a long thread about a special interest I often read, but I don't really comment as I know for sure I could not enter into a conversation on the level of the poster due to my own lack of knowledge, but it doesn't mean I don't take a piece of knowledge away with me. I think for every person on a forum that comments there is another dozen who takes something from it without posting, there has been many times something made me smile and I said nothing

I think you should let it loose, if you can't do it here where can you do it? If there are a few narrow minded people who don't like it ..tough, they have a cross in the top right of their screen, they don't have to read

I had never listened to the Kinks before but I have always liked the Beatles, last week while I was cleaning I put a Kinks album on after reading one of your posts and enjoyed it

Don't loose heart
Kiana


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League_Girl
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23 Sep 2011, 1:25 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
I read all these threads about people being annoyed by the aspieness of other members and it's been starting to make me feel unwelcome on WP. I've been dealing with anxiety in all the other areas of my life. I don't need to deal with it on WP.


I have a big list of things that annoy me from people who have AS but I am too afraid to even list it in that L&D thread because I am afraid it offend others here.



MakaylaTheAspie
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23 Sep 2011, 1:28 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
MakaylaTheAspie wrote:
I'm sorry you feel this way. I hate it when anyone feels like this. :(


Thank you for sharing your feelings. It shows that you really care about me. I've noticed over my past 7 years on WP that there are people who truly care and there are people who don't care at all and they make it very clear to the person who is in need at the moment. I'm glad that you care, and it makes me feel like a wanted person here on WP. :)


Glad I could help. :)


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CockneyRebel
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23 Sep 2011, 1:34 pm

swbluto wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:
You hardly ever cry or feel the need to cry. You don't have a burning desire to share your special interests with the feeling of needing to censor yourselves in fear of annoying other WP members.


I pretty regularly cry when certain topics cross my mind, mainly themes relating to death and love.

Also, you should have no problems sharing your special interests through your own threads in the appropriate forums or subforums. People who aren't interested in your special interest won't reply, and those who do generally get annoyed by your obsession and bother to reply will tend to be few in number.

Personally, I've found when I ramble on and on about a particular special interest in a post (Like integrals) , people just ignore it. And that's totally expected and fine with me.


I guess that I could open up a little more in the special interest department and post about them a little more often and make a point about posting about all my special interests instead of just about The Kinks. I have 6 or 7 different special interests. I can go through the list of them, posting about a different one every 10 posts, so I'm not posting about the same interest all the time, while still allowing myself to post about that interest.

My list:

The Kinks
The Internet
Animals
The Olympics
The 60s
The Vancouver Canucks
Routemasters

I'll try that for a while. If 10 posts is a little too long, I can go through that list at a more manageable pace for me.


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CockneyRebel
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23 Sep 2011, 1:53 pm

Kiana wrote:
Hi CockneyRebel

I know we have never spoken, but your posts were among the ones that stood out to me the day I joined WP as one of the members who spoke a lot of sense, I have always read your posts, and I believe I have learned from some of your insights

I think it is a small minority who think it's wrong to ramble on about an interest, after all we all do it... or not do it as we learn to bottle it up, but it's still in our thoughts

If I see a long thread about a special interest I often read, but I don't really comment as I know for sure I could not enter into a conversation on the level of the poster due to my own lack of knowledge, but it doesn't mean I don't take a piece of knowledge away with me. I think for every person on a forum that comments there is another dozen who takes something from it without posting, there has been many times something made me smile and I said nothing

I think you should let it loose, if you can't do it here where can you do it? If there are a few narrow minded people who don't like it ..tough, they have a cross in the top right of their screen, they don't have to read

I had never listened to the Kinks before but I have always liked the Beatles, last week while I was cleaning I put a Kinks album on after reading one of your posts and enjoyed it

Don't loose heart
Kiana


Maybe it's better to let it loose than it is to go through a list of interests but I could talk about my other interests to balance things out, but maybe not with the original plan that I've made in my post above. I could talk about The Kinks and talk about the topics that pop up during the day and than mix it up with my other interests, but showing WP that the biggest part of my personality is that I'm a Kinks Fan. In threads such as Got Something Random To Say, I can talk about all of my interests so that it seems like I'm being random. I've also caught myself red handed, bragging about getting my life back on track two years ago and I've realized that I need to step on the brakes in that area. The older members have heard about me going from being a Punk back to being the 60s Mod that I am, many times and they've lost interest by now. I've got to remember that I've changed for me and not for them. Good....I'm happy with the change. let's keep it at that. :)


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CockneyRebel
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23 Sep 2011, 1:55 pm

League_Girl wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:
I read all these threads about people being annoyed by the aspieness of other members and it's been starting to make me feel unwelcome on WP. I've been dealing with anxiety in all the other areas of my life. I don't need to deal with it on WP.


I have a big list of things that annoy me from people who have AS but I am too afraid to even list it in that L&D thread because I am afraid it offend others here.


I also have a list of things that annoy me that I don't post, because I know that we are all here for a reason. I don't want to point the finger at other members for doing things that I do, myself.


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Mummy_of_Peanut
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23 Sep 2011, 1:56 pm

I love to read your posts and they make a lot of sense to me too (I really think we're on the same wavelength). And your special interest conversations are fine on here, don't ever worry about that. In fact, I saw there was a programme about The Kinks at BBC on TV a couple of weeks ago. Of course, I'd heard of them before, but I'd never really taken too much notice. I decided to sit and watch, purely because of you. It was most enjoyable. Thanks



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23 Sep 2011, 2:01 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:
I read all these threads about people being annoyed by the aspieness of other members and it's been starting to make me feel unwelcome on WP. I've been dealing with anxiety in all the other areas of my life. I don't need to deal with it on WP.


I have a big list of things that annoy me from people who have AS but I am too afraid to even list it in that L&D thread because I am afraid it offend others here.


I also have a list of things that annoy me that I don't post, because I know that we are all here for a reason. I don't want to point the finger at other members for doing things that I do, myself.


Well the things they do, it annoys me when none ASD people do them too.



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23 Sep 2011, 2:03 pm

CR,

have you ever thought about making podcast series about your interests?

would it be possible for you to do that?

i am sure that many people would love to listen to (and see!) those… they could be very informative and interesting.

i do listen to many podcasts myself about various interests i have… and my guess is that some (maybe most!) of these are made by aspies that have special interests…

just a thought…

i always enjoy your posts on WP!



CockneyRebel
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23 Sep 2011, 2:25 pm

Mummy_of_Peanut wrote:
I love to read your posts and they make a lot of sense to me too (I really think we're on the same wavelength). And your special interest conversations are fine on here, don't ever worry about that. In fact, I saw there was a programme about The Kinks at BBC on TV a couple of weeks ago. Of course, I'd heard of them before, but I'd never really taken too much notice. I decided to sit and watch, purely because of you. It was most enjoyable. Thanks


It brightens up my day that I've had that much of an impact on you. Thank you for sharing that with me. :)


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CockneyRebel
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23 Sep 2011, 2:27 pm

aspi-rant wrote:
CR,

have you ever thought about making podcast series about your interests?

would it be possible for you to do that?

i am sure that many people would love to listen to (and see!) those… they could be very informative and interesting.

i do listen to many podcasts myself about various interests i have… and my guess is that some (maybe most!) of these are made by aspies that have special interests…

just a thought…

i always enjoy your posts on WP!


I'd love to make a podcast about my interests, but I don't have all the right equipment to do that. What do you need in order to make a podcast?


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