I CANNOT BEAR BEING STARED AT NO LONGER!! !! !! !! !! !! !

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glider18
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18 Oct 2011, 4:44 pm

Whenever people asked what am I staring at, I would say, "Well, you had to be staring at me in order for you to know I was staring at you." Now don't take that the wrong way---just a little humor. I realize we can often tell that someone is staring at us without us continuously staring at them.

Best advice---just look the other direction and ignore them---it's there problem. And never act like they are bothering you with their staring.


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Surfman
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18 Oct 2011, 4:57 pm

Kick them in the balls once you confirm you are being stared at

The evil eye needs to be averted...., and prevented from repeating its unkind stare on others.....

Take out the mother f****r



Joe90
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18 Oct 2011, 5:04 pm

glider18 wrote:
Whenever people asked what am I staring at, I would say, "Well, you had to be staring at me in order for you to know I was staring at you." Now don't take that the wrong way---just a little humor. I realize we can often tell that someone is staring at us without us continuously staring at them.

Best advice---just look the other direction and ignore them---it's there problem. And never act like they are bothering you with their staring.


I don't ever look at people. I can just feel it, and when i glance up (without moving my head to distract them) I find that they are staring (I can tell by their face that they were already staring). And what gets me is I don't even look at them and they stare. What's the point of staring at somebody who's not paying the least bit attention to you? And anyway once I felt somebody staring at me, I tried telling myself that they wasn't, but then my friend said, ''that person over there was really staring at you''. So, yeah.


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Surfman
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18 Oct 2011, 5:13 pm

Stare them down....



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18 Oct 2011, 6:15 pm

Joe90 wrote:
swbluto wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
swbluto wrote:
Because you're hot. Next question.


Other women stare at me because of that?

Eww.


Oh, if it's women, it's because they're jealous you're hot or because they might be bi or lesbian (or because they're human and humans like to look at pretty faces). Do you notice guys staring at you?


I have come across guys staring at me, but that doesn't harm me at all. They don't stare and stare - they just keep looking at me every so often
I have that issue and I hate it, I even do it to people whom I'm not even interested in, its really annoying at work when you happen to look up and BAM! that person is there, the every so often thing really gets me on the bus. Man (Or in your case, woman) I would do anything to get rid of the my staring symptom from having AS.

I'm shocked you don't say a sinde remark when people do that to you, that must be a NT thing. :roll:



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19 Oct 2011, 11:51 am

Joe90 wrote:
Quote:
The exact same thing happens to me all the time. I can't stand it! It's all different types of people staring at me. I'm not going to lie- I'm skinny,pretty, and fashionable, but I don't try and draw attention to myself or anything.


Same with me too. And I'm not going to keep giving excuses against you or me, like saying ''perhaps they can see something in your body language'' or ''perhaps you have that look or give off an expression'' - it's just no good in saying that, I mean, come on - that's no reason to stare at someone. I see people more odd looking than me but I don't stare at them. In anything I would look away and concentrate on something else. Saying those stupid things like ''your weirdness shows right through you'' does not help paranoid people. It just makes us feel worse about ourselves, especially Aspies like me who don't want to be different and doing our best to make an effort with ourselves and yet still being told we look different. It's just not really a reasonable answer. (Not getting at you, I'm agreeing with you and referring to people on some internet forums who gave me the useless answers).

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Another type of stare I notice is sometimes people glare at me because they're insecure about themselves (these are people that are typically overweight). The most common time this happens is if I'm at a waterpark. Anyway, I don't know what to do about these people. Mom always tells me to just stare back, but for some reason, I can't. I'm too polite to even do it and it makes me really uncomfortable. What can I do?


I have stared back, and it worked. They smiled then turned away again and didn't look at me again. Usually I don't look at anyone, then I feel them staring all the more as though they want me to look at them. It gets so awkward! But then I think, ''I don't want to stare at them first because what if they don't me to stare?'' I have too much empathy/sympathy (see, they say Aspies are the ones who lack empathy/sympathy but some of us actually have too much, which can also cause problems! :D )
The only snag with not looking up at people is you are more than likely to scuttle straight past people who you know, then appear unfriendly and have to keep explaining yourself that you only missed them because you wasn't looking, not because you're unfriendly. Ohh, such an awkward state!

Perhaps people are like Aspies underneath, they suffer from faceblindness and so need to stare to give their brain a chance to process the information of the face, because a quick glance isn't enough. You never know.


Exactly, I try to look away if there's something that's considered attention-catching in a person. You'd think that'd be the normal thing to do, but I guess not...

Just even thinking about staring back makes me anxious. I always tell myself to do it, but when it comes to that situation again, I just can't. I do get really worried about what others think of me (I know I shouldn't, but I do- I've been this way since I was a toddler) and I can only imagine how people are judging me inside their minds. Those are some pretty scary thoughts to me. As for being face blind, yeah, I definitely am! It sucks!



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19 Oct 2011, 3:11 pm

In nature
The more dominant ones
Stare at the
Submissive ones
Who look away
Or get beaten up

Staring back says
I dont fear you

Only with the polynesian local boys do I decide to not stare back....these guys are BIG and love fighting. They live where I live

However, staring is very very very rude in polynesian culture.

Sometimes, a pack of polynesian guys may stare at others, its kind of a gang type thing. This may precede violence, or hostilities, so care needs to be taken, as to who you will stare back at 8)



wavefreak58
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19 Oct 2011, 3:27 pm

You lookin at me?


Image


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19 Oct 2011, 4:22 pm

Do you have noticeable differences, such as an unusual appearance, odd gait, very obvious stims, etc?



Joe90
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19 Oct 2011, 4:29 pm

Ettina wrote:
Do you have noticeable differences, such as an unusual appearance, odd gait, very obvious stims, etc?


No, this is the problem. I wouldn't mind being stared at if I did all those things, but I don't - this is why it's causing problems and should be added to the ''strange mysteries of the universe'' website.

I've even been told that I don't have an awkward posture.


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Joe90
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19 Oct 2011, 4:56 pm

Well, like my grandmother always says

''We will all be dead one day, whether you worry about everything or if you don't''.

That phrase actually made me think.


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hanyo
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19 Oct 2011, 5:05 pm

Surfman wrote:
In nature
The more dominant ones
Stare at the
Submissive ones
Who look away
Or get beaten up


I'm submissive and dislike conflict.



Lightning88
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19 Oct 2011, 7:19 pm

hanyo wrote:
Surfman wrote:
In nature
The more dominant ones
Stare at the
Submissive ones
Who look away
Or get beaten up


I'm submissive and dislike conflict.

I'm mostly the opposite. I'm not big on conflict, but I will get down and dirty if I have to. I can be very bossy and controlling.



Joe90
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23 Oct 2011, 11:49 am

Can I just quickly say something again? - it depends on who I'm with when I get stared at. When I'm with my friend who has Autism (and he shows it by swinging his arms), people still tend to look at me. When I'm with my friend who isn't NT but doesn't have AS (might have another ASD or something), people don't tend to look at me at all. When I'm with my older friend (who is NT) by christ I get gawped at like anything. I really don't know why it depends on who I'm with.

Stupid people - why don't people just concentrate on where they're going and what they're doing rather than spending half their time gawping at a stupid young girl like it's a must.


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