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bluerose
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19 Oct 2011, 3:29 pm

Do you feel like you belong on neither planet? Like, I know I have, or used to have, Aspergers, but I'm not impaired at all. Does that mean I'm cured now? I still have special interests, and I still get lost in them, but my social functioning is fine, so maybe I just have OCD now or something :? But I still feel very different, not like an NT, even though I may as well be one when I'm going about my daily life. I don't know if that different feeling will ever go away, maybe it's just because I've been told I'm different. And there are other things making me different, like my skeletal deformity, that causes a lot of social problems that just have to be beared and dealt with. Also the degree with which I do things I'm obsessed with, forgetting to eat etc...That still messes up my schedule. But one symptom isn't a disorder. I just feel like if I went to a psychiatrist now I wouldn't be diagnosed with anything. But I don't feel normal either. I'm inbetween.



Lightning88
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19 Oct 2011, 4:02 pm

I totally understand. I'm much more NT than most people here from what I've seen, but I'm not completely normal either. If I ahd been totally normal, I wouldn't have been bullied horribly for eight years straight, you know? And I've been able to self-fix anything that would've made me different (becoming better at eye contact, more social awareness, etc.). I'm at the point where there is no way anyone would think I'm AS or anything related to it unless they really got to know me. My worst thing at this point is anxiety, but it could be a lot worse.



Joe90
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19 Oct 2011, 4:31 pm

Nope - I feel I belong on Earth, but maybe either foreign to the average British person, or somebody born in the 1880s. I struggle with the average British conformity of modern....today.


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Sansomrocks1027
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19 Oct 2011, 4:33 pm

I too feel somewhat NT, but i know my differences are still there. I'm not impaired or handicapped, I do everything for myself, and have no problems in the social department, other than being naturally shy sometimes. Some people just have it different than others I suppose. But we are all here for the same reasons, and I am so happy everyone on this site is supportive of one another. :D



twich
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19 Oct 2011, 5:18 pm

I don't think you ever are able to stop being autistic, It's not like you're cured, it just means you've learned how to cope, adapt, and make yourself seem more normal.



pensieve
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19 Oct 2011, 5:59 pm

My social skills are in a flux, sometimes I got them and sometimes I don't.

My overall functionality is in a flux too for that matter.

I don't try to act normal, I just don't get as bothered by my symptoms anymore.

I suppose with my heightened aversion to change, sensory issues, meltdowns, etc I will always feel autistic. There's the obsessions too but I've made them manageable by integrating them into my own research for my creative writing or my painting.


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anneurysm
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19 Oct 2011, 6:01 pm

twich wrote:
I don't think you ever are able to stop being autistic, It's not like you're cured, it just means you've learned how to cope, adapt, and make yourself seem more normal.


This. And even if you get diagnosed with something else in the long run because your overt behaviours do not indicate AS, you will still have an AS brain...but one with learned NT-like behaviours. You may even get lifelong symptoms of anxiety and depression because you are pushing yourself too hard to fit into a world that wasn't made for you. Trying to adapt out of AS is truly a blessing and a curse.


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I am an anomaly. Diagnosed with borderline,"tentative" Aspergers at 7 as the school board required me to have a label in order to receive special education services. I did not fit criteria for ASD but that was the closest label that fit my behaviour at the time.

My longtime psychiatrist has confirmed that I do not qualify for an ASD diagnosis (but have traits & OCD-like traits).

Mostly keeping a distance from ASD-related things (including WP).


Sansomrocks1027
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19 Oct 2011, 9:24 pm

Yeah, that's pretty much how I feel about life. I suppose things could be worse though. For me it's like i live in two worlds, one with AS, and one with NT. I know my AS it there, but I am able to control it, which allows me to "Act" like a NT person would. Nobody has ever questioned me about AS in public, but if you are with me for a long amount of time, you get a "Sense" that something is off. I try not to let it bother me, but someway somehow it always manages to kick my butt. It's a curse in my eyes.



Peko
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19 Oct 2011, 9:26 pm

Its more like I feel like I'm in the wrong time and place.


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Meow101
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19 Oct 2011, 9:37 pm

anneurysm wrote:
twich wrote:
I don't think you ever are able to stop being autistic, It's not like you're cured, it just means you've learned how to cope, adapt, and make yourself seem more normal.


This. And even if you get diagnosed with something else in the long run because your overt behaviours do not indicate AS, you will still have an AS brain...but one with learned NT-like behaviours. You may even get lifelong symptoms of anxiety and depression because you are pushing yourself too hard to fit into a world that wasn't made for you. Trying to adapt out of AS is truly a blessing and a curse.


Agreed. I am constantly feeling burned out because I push *very* hard and fake being NT fairly well. I feel lucky because I *can* fake it, but unlucky because then everyone expects you to BE NT!

~Kate


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MrXxx
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20 Oct 2011, 3:16 pm

Sounds to me like your learning to adapt, and are quite good at it.

AS doesn't just "cure" itself, nor can it be cured. If you were ever AS, you still are. AS doesn't mean you're always going to have problems, though it can be likely. Some of do learn to adapt so well, the AS isn't a problem anymore.

Nothing wrong with THAT. 8)


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20 Oct 2011, 4:19 pm

I'm a few parsecs away from the Aspergia galaxy.


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DevilKisses
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24 Oct 2011, 4:09 pm

I usually feel like an aspie. I've taught myself to maintain eye contact. I still don't know how to avoid awkward silences.


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
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