Are you open or secretive about your special interests?

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Edna3362
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23 Oct 2024, 3:17 pm

Secretive because I like the idea of keeping certain knowledge to myself.

Though, I don't, however, deny nor hide. Usually if and if it's something I can bring and/or perform out in the open.

Nor I have the same info dumping impulse to share, believing that everyone has the same enthusiasm or interest.


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ToughDiamond
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24 Oct 2024, 8:46 pm

Not exactly secretive. If somebody seems genuinely interested and unlikely to judge me, I'll tell them about my interests in whatever detail they can manage. It might be more accurate to say that I'm secretive about all kinds of things if I suspect the other person is likely to be judgemental about them, and special interests are just one of the things I'd hide from them. I can give as good as I get if somebody starts to scoff at my interests, attitudes, etc., but I'd rather not get into fights, and if the other person might be useful to me, or if they might mess up my life in some way, what's the point in inviting them to dislike me? OTOH sometimes I've felt pugnacious and then I might let something out just to start trouble. But that's become more rare as I've got older.



Carbonhalo
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24 Oct 2024, 8:59 pm

ToughDiamond wrote:
Not exactly secretive. If somebody seems genuinely interested and unlikely to judge me, I'll tell them about my interests in whatever detail they can manage. It might be more accurate to say that I'm secretive about all kinds of things if I suspect the other person is likely to be judgemental about them, and special interests are just one of the things I'd hide from them. I can give as good as I get if somebody starts to scoff at my interests, attitudes, etc., but I'd rather not get into fights, and if the other person might be useful to me, or if they might mess up my life in some way, what's the point in inviting them to dislike me? OTOH sometimes I've felt pugnacious and then I might let something out just to start trouble. But that's become more rare as I've got older.


I subscribe to this view except that of my major interests (sex, drugs, rock'n'roll and explosives) only 1 is considered a socially accepted conversation topic.
My minor interests are too esoteric for me to expect anyone to know what I'm talking about.



ToughDiamond
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25 Oct 2024, 8:33 am

^
I presume rock & roll is the socially acceptable one? I guess the people I've been exposed to have been less homogenous than yours. I've known quite a few men who seemed to want to talk about nothing but sex, and several druggies who waxed lyrical about their latest trip or whatever. Haven't seen much obsession with explosives, though I knew one lady who loved pyrotechnics, and heard of one or two who were very into what was referred to as "weaponry." I suppose that by shunning mainstream types, I've met a lot of unusual people.



lostonearth35
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25 Oct 2024, 10:59 am

I've read that the special interests of female autistic people tend to be more socially acceptable, but I don't know about that since as a teenager I was harassed and bullied constantly for being really into Garfield comics and cartoons in general and wanting to be a cartoonist was all I supposedly cared about. My mother would scold me for not having other interests. This was before anyone knew I had ASD and it lasted well into my 20s.

I think that when you get older, you care less what other people think. But I don't talk that much about my interests anymore. Although my mom now seems to find what I say interesting when I do. Either she's really accepted me for who I am or she's just gotten softer in her old age. Maybe both. :)



Elgee
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26 Oct 2024, 6:59 pm

lostonearth35 wrote:
I've read that the special interests of female autistic people tend to be more socially acceptable, but I don't know about that since as a teenager I was harassed and bullied constantly for being really into Garfield comics and cartoons in general and wanting to be a cartoonist was all I supposedly cared about. My mother would scold me for not having other interests. This was before anyone knew I had ASD and it lasted well into my 20s.

I think that when you get older, you care less what other people think. But I don't talk that much about my interests anymore. Although my mom now seems to find what I say interesting when I do. Either she's really accepted me for who I am or she's just gotten softer in her old age. Maybe both. :)


I'm female and most of my SPINS have been socially unacceptable or what would never be considered feminine or "girly." E.g., the 2010 luge death of Nodar Kumaritashvili, woodchipper deaths, seizures from head trauma, getting crushed to death by an elevator, facial disfigurements, schizophrenia, mental patients, mental hospitals, racial mixes, shark attacks.

But now that I think of it, I DO have a girly SPIN: Big, voluminous ponytails.



lostonearth35
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27 Oct 2024, 3:11 pm

Lately I've been kind of getting into the Calico Critters. They're cute little dolls of anthropomorphic animals and you can buy dollhouses and furniture for them. But so far only my mom really knows about my interest in them.



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28 Oct 2024, 9:51 am

my obsessions change so often and so quickly that i'm not around people enough to hide or talk about them. i talk in general terms about the things i'm interested in and usually am more interested in what others are doing. the really bad thing is that whatever the other person is interested in becomes a potential new obsession. all this is an adhd response from what i've researched.

i do obsess but it's for short periods of time and i move back and forth between obsessions. i improvise music, video, graphic arts and a couple of other interests. i bing on self improvement videos imagining what it would be like to actually accomplish the things that find their way into my mind. it is really hard, from my perspective, to imagine a long term obsession.