friendship only in context with special interest?

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ToughDiamond
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Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 71
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,317

25 Oct 2011, 11:02 am

My special interests, especially music, have helped me to make friends, and to some extent they help me to keep them, but I've been very close to non-musical people too, and I don't think I've ever really shared the obscure details of my special interests with anybody. If I'm in a band, it's really a compromise between the music I'd ideally be working on and the music the others are prepared to play. That compromise is always a tension for me, and apart from my first band where I just arrogantly foisted my own ideas onto the others, I've always felt to some extent like a fish out of water with musical colaboration. The problem is probably that "music" is too general a word to describe my special interest. Although my musical adventures cover a wide range of genres, instruments and recording methods, they're also incredibly narrowly focussed.

Also, the thing about my getting close to people without sharing my special interests is kind of blurred, because sometimes socialising becomes my special interest, and if I have a partner then she becomes my special interest.