What makes you not want to look into other people's eyes ?

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I have never had a problem with it frankly. But then I noticed I don't usually stare into a person's eyes directly, but I stare at various points on their face. For example I will look at their eyes, their nose, their chin, their forehead, but I never turn away. How does natural eye contact occur? Do people think about it or does it just happen? As far as eyes are concerned though, I don't feel anything at all when I look at them. I just notice the color and the shape etc. I only feel uncomfortable if I think the other person is flirting. Then I suddenly feel naked and like I need to run.

I have gotten accused of staring before.

Looking into someone's eyes is so intimate. And I'm afraid they'll see too much in my eyes. It's such a personal connection, it makes me uncomfortable. I am aware of other people as separate beings with their own lives, but I want to keep a distance.

People have asked me this before, and I honestly don't know, other than it just is VERY VERY uncomfortable, and while I am in eye contact, it erases my head; or disrupts any thoughts and kills any meaningful conversation. I wind up talking nonsense, and in turn, the other person gets all uncomfortable along with me.

Charles

i don't mind looking into people's eyes, but as i grow older i am increasingly aware that some people cannot tolerate other people looking them in the eye, to the point of them getting violent over it.

Eyeballs are a fairly strange body part. It's made of a lot of "gooey" stuff and collagen. I've found the actual eyeball is not a pleasant object to stare at. I find I can look some family/friends in the eyes longer than others. But even then, I feel like it's holding my breath...I can do it, but can only for a brief time before I HAVE to look away and the stess unwinds (and feels like I'm taking a breath again).

One thing I like about marrying into a Korean family is they (as a cultural norm) tend to not stress eye contact and many times when speaking with them, there's not that constant "sniper-eye" locking-in on your eyes for extended periods of times.

Very agreed @ everyone. Sometimes I feel as if I am giving away too much b/c I tend to be a very sincere and honest in live conversation. I know I won't get anything back and all the effort will go to waste. There is nothing in others eyes. Sometimes I would look intensively if I wanted to stress a point or if I felt that I was misunderstood but that never worked - sometimes I strangely get the impression that NTs don't read body language as well.. Also I get this vibe that looking into others eyes makes them somehow uncomfortable. I cannot make my look kind and friendly or w/e, usually it is very intense and requiring for truth. And NTs rarely do truth.

I can look (more like stare) into peoples eyes sure. BUT as soon as they look into to mine it feels likes they are staring into my soul!
I don't want them to look into my soul... and I can't focus on what they are saying

I like looking at eyeballs. Lots of pretty colors in mottled, flecked or ringed patterns. Eyes that change colors are especially fun. The colors in eyes are muted enough to be pleasant. Mine go from green to brown. I recently met a person who has the blue/gray/purple eyes. Neat!

Usually though, crooked teeth or a hooked nose is more interesting to examine.

I am like screenager though, in that I don't hear the words when looking at an eyeball.

And yeah, people get freaked out when you stare intently at them. So I like to ask if it's ok to look at someone's eyes first. Extended eye contact seems to be one of those things that people sexualize, so I think it's best to ask first.

Never lost a staring contest ever, though (until-looking-away style, not until-blinking style). A friend and I went 40 minutes once.

I think there are also weird power / dominance issues with eye contact, when someone isn't romanticizing it. People issuing commands usually will stare a person down to help drive the message home. Ever wonder why cop sunglasses are so darn big?

Well when I was really young it just did not occur to me that there was any reason to, so it just kinda confused me when people told me I should look at them when I talk to them especially if it was in a criticizing manner because I did not understand what was so important about it....and I still don't its just an annoying social norm. But also it makes me really uncomfortable to make eye contact with people I don't know.

I think this is one of the weirdest parts of AS. When I look at someones eyes it is like I have looked at something I shouldn't see. And I feel nervous that they think the same. It is almost like it is taboo and we are doing something we shouldn't. But I notice some people want you to do that and I feel I am being led to do something I shouldn't do. It is so weird.

Regarding the windows of the soul idea, I think there is something to be said for that. If we had a soul then the eyes would be one way of seeing into it, because people say you can tell when someone tells the truth in their eyes.

But either way I just feel very awkward and uncomfortable.

Eye contact is not painful for me. I can make and hold eye contact for as long as I want. I just have to remember to do it, and when that happens, I am an intense starer. When I forget to remember to do it, I am also a starer, except that I stare at a plane of focus way before or behind the face of the other. That is my soulless droid stare.

I'm just going to put this out there, but....does it seem sexual to anyone else? Like a sexual eye contact. Like, by looking at the person in the eyes in a non agressive way, when I'm not giving them the deathly autistic "my eyes can kill" look, and if i'm in no way attracted to them, it feels like unwanted sexual contact for both of us (I mean I'm feeling awkward for....eye raping a person I don't even find hot in the first place)
If I AM attracted to the person (and not in a relationship with them) , it feels like confessing lust. Weird, or not so much?

A few reasons why I avoid eye contact:
1. I tend to hyper focus on people's faces. Instead of seeing the whole face I'll stare at their nose/mouth. (Maybe the movement catches my attention.) When I try to look at someone in the eye I end up starring at them. This makes NTs uncomfortable, and sometimes aggressive towards me.

2.

Anxiety , fear , vulnerability ... i also don't know when and how long to look for , which makes it very uncomfortable