I wish social rules weren't so precise

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I know some social rules should apply, otherwise everyone would end up getting upset all the time, so I understand why and how to avoid saying non-offensive comments. But what I mean is, I wish you could say things at any time without being considered ''weird'' or ''freaky''.

It's like when I was on the bus yesterday, 2 girls got on together chatting, and they sat down, one behind the other, and when the bus got full an elderly ladie got on and went to sit next to one of the girls, but they kind of looked up at her funny and the girl wouldn't move her bags what were on the other seat, so the elderly ladie had to hunt for a seat further at the back where she didn't really want to sit. And I felt like leaning over and saying, ''why don't you 2 girls just sit together, then you 2 could talk better and wouldn't have no-one else next to you?'' But I knew better than to do that because they would just look at me dubiously or something. But I wish you could just do these things. I wish you could just ask them that and they would just say, ''oh yeah, good idea, cheers, mate'', and carry on talking and let the elderly ladie sit.

Wouldn't life be swell if communicating was that easy and that everybody helped one another without anybody teasing or freaking out?

It's as if communicating and socialising is like those game things where you have a metal loop thing what you move along a metal wire thing and if the metal wire touches the loop thing it buzzes loud. That's how communicating and socialising means to me, where you have to be so careful with what you do and say and if you accidentally do or saying anything wrong, you get a ''loud buzz'' which could mean teasing, bullying, criticising, irritation, or even a fall out.

You should have said something to the girls. They were being rude by not being respectful to an elderly person. Saying something in this situation would be in no way ''weird'' or ''freaky''.

While I agree with what your saying, I have to admit I wouldn't have said anything either.

You just never know with some people by confronting them you risk anything from them taking offence and just laughing at you to something a lot more dangerous... I've read stories of people ending up in hospital after confronting people over things like this.

I understand where you are coming from but you have to judge these situations as you find them. Generally I think most people have become far to timid which has only emboldened the more unsavoury elements in our society, so much so that many have begun to think they are untouchable.

Yes, life would be much easier if people didn't do things like that which you've described. It sucks that if you go out of your way to stand up for someone, others will give you the "not cool" stare. What sucks even more is spending your entire life torn between two forces: either being your Aspie self and therefore risk being seen as weird and unfriendable much of the time, or adapting to soceity's social rules and feeling like crap because you know you're not being true to yourself.

I wish I wasn't shy because I would love to say whatever I want and not be passive. If I were the old lady, I would have just grabbed the bags and dump them on their laps. I did that once to a guy on the bus because he wouldn't move his bag and the bus was crowded so I grabbed it and he said angrily. "Let me move it." I should have just said "You didn't move it before" but instead I just said "sorry." I have a poor habit of apologizing whenever I upset someone. But hey at least I showed him. Move your damn bag or else the person will do it for you.

If social rules really were precise it would make things easier for me. It's agonising over ambiguity that annoys me.

Same here.

Life would be totally swell if people did not freak out over inconsequential things.

I guess that it is a matter of perspective though. I freak out when the door is not completely open or closed. Others freak out over things that are inconsequential to me.

^^ this ^^

I wish there were a reliable rule book I could follow. But there isn't.

Why do you care? If it was a problem for the elderly lady, she would probably address it herself.