Saying No

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Does anyone have trouble saying no to people?

I do and it is becoming exteremly annoying to me =(. I was planning to use my wii all day during thanksgiving break from college, but my brothers friend came over and they are using it all because i had trouble saying no

NO

No trouble with saying no at all. It's getting people to listen to me that is the issue.

That's what it is like for me too.

No, i don't have any problems saying no to people. Could even be the word i use most often in contacts.

@ seaweasel, don't hand your stuff to others from the beginning of an interaction. It's less trouble to hide or lock it than getting it back.

I don't get it - if some people on the spectrum are that honest, then I would've thought they would find it really easy to say no just like that. If you don't say no when you really know you should, then it is practically being dishonest.

I find it very hard to say no (I'm not an ''honest'' Aspie either). I know when I should and shouldn't be assertive, but I just fear conflict. Sometimes it can be so awkward depending on the situation - even NTs say that. But I find it hard in almost every situation, and also I think I lack confidence in assertiveness because I've been assertive before on 2 seperate occasions before, and I got bullied for it by 2 different people. Yes, I know everybody ain't like that, but for someone with social and self-esteem isues, it does knock you back.

I do, but I'm trying to become better at saying no.

Why not try joining in with your brother and his friends playing the Wii?

Yea I have this problem sometimes! It's usually a face to face request where I don't have time to measure my response. Also you don't want to let people down, but sometimes just wish you had.

I can say "No" to people. Sometimes they listen, sometimes they don't. If they don't, it's not as if I've implicitly agreed. I'm unmovable when I make a decision. It causes conflicts, but I'm not a doormat.

I find it nearly impossible to say no.
I don't want to offend anyone.
I especially have trouble saying no to kids which is why I should never be a mother.

I don't know when to say "no". I need too much time to read and understand situations that I could react spontaneously and say "no".

I find it very hard to say no. I just don't want to let people down. Not being able to say no does get me into a lot of trouble though.

I have trouble saying no, but will go into overdrive rather than flake.

I'm noticing that I've neglected myself and suffered.

Is this a trick question?

Heh, if anything, I say no way too much. It comes naturally for me without any hesitation.

^This... also when I do make the "attempt" to say no, I have a very circumvent way of doing it. I don't straight up say no. I use a lot of excuses, and things like that. My friends wanted to go out Wednesday night. It went like this:

Friends: Wanna go out to Gilligan's?
Me: Um, well, I guess so. (Inside screaming NO!! !!)
Friends: Cool! Well let's go back to your house and you can get ready. K?
Me: Um, yeah, cool.
(Go back to house.)
Friends: Hey, I'm gonna go freshen up in your bathroom real quick, ok?
Me: Sure, I'll be ready soon! (Inside screaming "I hate myself!")
Boyfriend: Hey honey, you sure you want to go? We don't have to, just tell them you'd rather stay home.
Me: No, no, I'm fine, but maybe we should take our car after all, because I don't think you'll like it there honey. It's really crowded and smoky.
Boyfriend: I'll be fine.
Me with half ass-ed smile on my face: Ok, dear. Let me finish getting ready then.
Friends, back outside on front porch having a cigarette: Kristin, you sure you want to go? You look tired.
Me: Well, I am pretty tired.
Friends: Well, it's up to you. I'm not up to making decisions tonight, so it's your choice.
Me: about five minutes of dead silence.
Friends: Well? Your choice.
Me: Well, how about next wednesday?


That it what it took for me to not go then, now I'm stuck going this wednesday, so there you go. Still no real no, but I got out of it that night. this is very normal for me.