What are some inappropriate things that you have said?

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anneurysm
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14 Dec 2011, 3:07 am

Art class, 7 years old...a classmate asked if I liked her painting and I said "No, it's horrible!" because that was what I honestly thought of it. She became upset, and I recieved a talking-to from the teacher...but I remember at the time not understanding why this behavior was rude.

Another kid moment...think I was 5-6 here. My dad plays guitar, and would often have his musican friends over for jams. When one of the guys got up on stage, I remember going up to my mom and exclaiming "Steve looks like a monkey!". He really did look like one, though. :P


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anneurysm
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14 Dec 2011, 3:17 am

The_Walrus wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
I still don't see why it's rude to tell people how to spell your name. Lot of people make a fuss when their name is spelled wrong and they will point it out. Last names are usually hard to spell and if someone has an unique spelling to their first name, people will misspell it. Are we all supposed to have people misspell our names?

It's not that it is rude in itself, but it is rude if those tricky things we Aspies don't get like intontation and inflection are wrong.


It implies that the person you are spelling to is stupid and will botch up the spelling for sure. It's like an insult to their intelligence.


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I am an anomaly. Diagnosed with borderline,"tentative" Aspergers at 7 as the school board required me to have a label in order to receive special education services. I did not fit criteria for ASD but that was the closest label that fit my behaviour at the time.

My longtime psychiatrist has confirmed that I do not qualify for an ASD diagnosis (but have traits & OCD-like traits).

Mostly keeping a distance from ASD-related things (including WP).


Jacoby
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14 Dec 2011, 3:39 am

Too many to count. I remember when I was I think 7 or 8, I told an overweight female relative of mine that she had arms like Hulk Hogan. Didn't go over too well, started crying and everything. Completely confused me since I liked Hulk Hogan and didn't see it as an insult.



hockeytaz
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14 Dec 2011, 3:57 am

I'm always saying or doing something stupid.

Someone showed me an ultrasound of their baby and was like, "it's so cute!" and I was like, where is it? I then proceeded to tell them that all I saw was a giant grey/black blob. Yeah, that didn't go over really well... I just don't get why people get all excited about those things. It's like me going around with pictures of my shoulder surgery and showing people. Unless you really know what you're looking for or know what it is, nobody has any clue what the bloody heck you're looking at.



League_Girl
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14 Dec 2011, 3:58 am

anneurysm wrote:
The_Walrus wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
I still don't see why it's rude to tell people how to spell your name. Lot of people make a fuss when their name is spelled wrong and they will point it out. Last names are usually hard to spell and if someone has an unique spelling to their first name, people will misspell it. Are we all supposed to have people misspell our names?

It's not that it is rude in itself, but it is rude if those tricky things we Aspies don't get like intontation and inflection are wrong.


It implies that the person you are spelling to is stupid and will botch up the spelling for sure. It's like an insult to their intelligence.



I guess Kate McCallister was rude.

From Home Alone 2:

Officer: What is the child's name?
Kate: Kevin. K-E-V-I-N.



anneurysm
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14 Dec 2011, 4:08 am

The above example wouldn't be considered rude, because she said his name and then spelt it.

I was referring to the specific situation here:

Joe90 wrote:
I remember about 2 years ago a worker in the job-centre asked my name, and because most people seem to mis-hear my name for some reason, I clearly spelt it out for her. I know it's appropriate to do that if somebody doesn't hear, but spelling it out as soon as the person asks for my name isn't what you're supposed to do. My mum was with me at the time, and she said that was rude.


The difference is the name was immediately spelled out without having been said once...implying the person is too dumb to get the spelling right.


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I am an anomaly. Diagnosed with borderline,"tentative" Aspergers at 7 as the school board required me to have a label in order to receive special education services. I did not fit criteria for ASD but that was the closest label that fit my behaviour at the time.

My longtime psychiatrist has confirmed that I do not qualify for an ASD diagnosis (but have traits & OCD-like traits).

Mostly keeping a distance from ASD-related things (including WP).


League_Girl
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14 Dec 2011, 6:13 am

anneurysm wrote:
The above example wouldn't be considered rude, because she said his name and then spelt it.

I was referring to the specific situation here:

Joe90 wrote:
I remember about 2 years ago a worker in the job-centre asked my name, and because most people seem to mis-hear my name for some reason, I clearly spelt it out for her. I know it's appropriate to do that if somebody doesn't hear, but spelling it out as soon as the person asks for my name isn't what you're supposed to do. My mum was with me at the time, and she said that was rude.


The difference is the name was immediately spelled out without having been said once...implying the person is too dumb to get the spelling right.



Oh so it be rude if it happened like this?

Officer: What is the child's name
Kate: K-E-V-I-N.


But what if she said the child's name after she spelled it out? Rude or no?

I didn't realize Joe spelled her name out without saying it first. I assumed she said it first and then spelled it out. I find it odd she would spell her name only than saying it first. I have never heard anyone doing that before. It just makes it sound like their name is K-E-V-I-N than Kevin. Get it?

Stranger: Hey what is your name?
Me: B-E-T-H
Stranger: Nice to meet you B-E-T-H
Me: No it's actually Beth. I just wanted to be sure you heard it right so I spelled it out
Stranger: How rude
Me:????



Joe90
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14 Dec 2011, 6:51 am

No I sort of said it in quite an aggressive way.

Woman: Can you give me your name place?
Me: J O S I E

The letter in bold is the letter I said most clearly, since people never seem to hear. But I'm not sure if it's rude or not, because often when I hear people giving out their postcode or something over the phone I hear them saying something like ''D for Daniel, P for Paul'', because letters often get mis-heard so they give a word what begins with the letter they are announcing. That isn't rude, since I hear people doing it all the time, so why should spelling out my name be rude?

BUT, remember, social rules are very complex - one thing could be acceptable but another thing what is virtually similar could be completely unacceptable.


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14 Dec 2011, 6:53 am

hockeytaz wrote:
I'm always saying or doing something stupid.

Someone showed me an ultrasound of their baby and was like, "it's so cute!" and I was like, where is it? I then proceeded to tell them that all I saw was a giant grey/black blob. Yeah, that didn't go over really well... I just don't get why people get all excited about those things. It's like me going around with pictures of my shoulder surgery and showing people. Unless you really know what you're looking for or know what it is, nobody has any clue what the bloody heck you're looking at.


Oh yes, this is another one I struggle with: pretending that I think other people's kids are cute. Somebody will show me a picture of their blotchy purple newborn with crusty eyes and umbilical cords all over the place and I'll just stand there like:

Image

It's one of those situations where you're supposed to lie and say "AWWWW, he's so cute!" but I just can't bring myself to do it. The most I can muster up is a noncommittal "mmmmrrhrmmm".

Ultrasounds are even worse.
"WTF am I looking at here? The moon landing?"



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14 Dec 2011, 8:31 am

When my son was born and I first saw him I said "oh hes so ugly!, I still love him though!"
Hes beautiful now but then his face was all squished and he looked bright purple I was just being honest but the nurses seemed offended ha ha.
And one time I pointed at this girls face and said "you've got spots" and she got really angry and I didn't really understand why.



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14 Dec 2011, 9:54 am

btbnnyr wrote:
I love the OP's example. It's so funny, and I like the consideration of the arms and legs flopping about. Very important to prevent that occurrence.

In 9th grade, I was sitting next to a Japanese student, and I happened to open the science textbook to a page that showed the Hiroshima atomic bomb blowing up. I spent the next minutes and minutes and minutes blabbing about how beautiful the nukular @$$plosion clouds were - the colors, the shapes, the plumeiness, the imagined noises complete with reenactments of the imagined noises. At the end of my monologue, I noticed that the person was staring fixedly at me, and nothing further happened in my mind until later, when I remembered that she was Japanese and perhaps did not enjoy me talking like this about a nuking of a city in her country.



Now I remember one. I was in the 8th grade and I was talking with a part Chinese friend, and then I brought up the Chintendo Vii and started casually/jokingly insulting the Chinese by saying how they were just copycats. I wasn't actually meaning go insult the Chinese, I like thus Chinese very much, and stuff, I insult all countries equally, especially my own, and I momentarily forgot that he was part Chinese. My English teacher overheard me and gave me a brief lecture on tact, something which I still lack.


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14 Dec 2011, 10:12 am

Everything I say is appropriate.



dogslife
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14 Dec 2011, 11:25 am

The_Walrus wrote:
Played the word "c****" in scrabble so I could get a triple word score.

Amazing, haha.



byakuugan
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14 Dec 2011, 7:51 pm

When I was in 3rd grade and went ice-skating with my family, a midget came into the rink and started skating near us. I had never seen one in my life and I thought he looked pretty cool, so I asked, "What's that?" but I really meant to ask something like, "What's it called when someone never gets any taller?" or something less offensive-sounding, but I didn't feel like using that much energy to talk.



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15 Dec 2011, 1:14 am

One time when I was 12, we had some company and my entire family was looking out the window at a strange looking dog. My mum said, "Look at that dog! Its face is almost human!" I said, "Maybe a lady had a dog for a baby!" My mum said, "That's not funny!" :lol:


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15 Dec 2011, 1:21 am

Probably one of my worst mistakes was when my oldest sister (who is kind-of shy) was introducing me to one of her college friends one day when I was about 15 or so.

Sister: "This is my little sister, she likes to play music and paint all day, she's really clumsy... always getting hurt falling off or out or into something..."
Me: "Well, at least I'm not- ..."
Sister: "...Yes?"

Drat! I had talked myself into a corner again! What could I say about me that in lacking would be admirable? think. Think! THINK!

Me: "WELL AT LEAST I'M NOT FAT!"


This was utter genius. Nowhere in my thoughts did it occur to me that by saying that, I was indicating that either my sister or her friend was fat. By the time it hit me, my sister had left the room quietly and had already begun the process of not talking to me for three months.


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