Female Aspies= Borderline personality disorder??

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This isn't surprising. NO ONE was looking for autism in girls. It wasn't even a consideration. The books said it was mostly in boys and boys are more important because they have penises and greater muscle mass.

I've never been to a real psychiatrist but I've been told by every armchair psychiatrist I've ever known that I either have a personality disorder or I'm a psychopath or sociopath - oh, and I'm narcissistic. Many have treated me like I don't have the right to exist. I've been deeply hurt but because people can't identify my pain for what it is, they conclude I have no feeling or emotion.

Doctors have given me drugs for anxiety, depression and bi-polar disease when my complaint was pain and fatigue (I have chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia.) I can't tolerate any of them and really, all my problems stem from misunderstandings so drugs only make the problems worse.

I've never been sure what I was doing wrong but since learning about ASD, I'm beginning to find a few clues. I can't change other people's understanding, only my own. Cognitive behavioral therapy has proven the most helpful. I believe they use something like it in the therapy of young children on the spectrum.

Having ASD it is allways better even because of comorbidities to go to a psychiatrist that specialices in ASD.
ASD and BPD are just rarly diagnosed together, but BPD is a very "popular" diagnosis in the psychiatric world.
There can be a lot of simmilarities between ASD and BPD, but in most cases those are explained through autism, because through their social problems most people with ASD don't even have the social capacity to show typical BPD behaviour and so simmilar behaviour is usually explained through ASD.
Also for psychiatrists who are not specialiced in ASD it is very hard to tell for them what a "typical autistic behaviour" or can be.
So if I were you, I would propably go with the opinion of the autism specialist and if you aren't sure at all ask another autism specialist for his/her opinion.

It's actually not unusual for someone with BPD to behave just fine in some situations. Whether that would fit with BPD would depend on the pattern of it. And, from what you say, yours is not at all a BPD pattern. Possibly PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), which has some similarities with BPD. I'm not as familiar with PTSD as I am with BPD, though. But having a specific incident that the behaviors relate to fits with PTSD.

So, why not?
I mean, how does my behaviour I wrote down differentiate?

So, first of all I'm relieved because this means and I'm right that it is getting slowly better since a fiew months and I guess most of it will be gone in another year or so. Well, I can't be sure but one year ago I was very messed up, because the trauma occoured in september two years ago.
And of course this causes me a lot of stress and so on, but for this I'm doing really fine compared to how I felt and behaved one year ago at the same time.
Now I know that I don't have to be that afraid anymore, but I still am a bit.
Just a half hour ago I was very scared again, it is coming sometimes suddenly when I think about the traumatic situation and the time in the hospital.
But I could calm myself down by listening to music and I couldn't do this a fiew months ago. The fear just stayed.

Now I'm even more sure that it's "just" trauma, like my friends were telling me.

Well, but now I got kind of interessted on this topic.
What's a typical BPD pattern?
Do you have BPD?
When does it start?
Does it go away with time?

I just know some things about BPD.

Oh, what I also did, I wrote the people who work in this psychiatric hospital (and especcialy my therapist there) where the trauma occoured A LOT.
How I felt and sometimes very messed up and ambivalent stuff when I had flash backs because of the trauma.
And every time I was afraid, mad or whatever.
I don't know why I was doiong this, but it calmed me down. I had a high need to do something against my flash back symptoms, against the fear and so on and this was my way dealing with it. Sometimes I was so scared in therapy that I could hardly talk in the beginning.
That's propably why they thought I'm totally freaky.
In the end I even just wrote down numbers. I calculated the time in seconds I was there, the prime numbers and everything.

Now after two years propably 70% of my symtpoms from the trauma are gone. Well that's hard to tell.
But I'm doing a lot better now.
With still some symptoms left.
Especcially now, where it is nearly two years ago in a fiew days.

I don't think that I have fullblown PTSD, at least not anymore if I had it.

Yeah, my point wasn't that people with BPD behave in a certain way all the time. More that... the stuff that contributes to the behavior is more pervasive, and not exactly contextual in that sense.

Raziel: Trauma can't give you BPD at 26.

Don't know if anyone has posted this yet, but thought I would leave this here: http://www.clinicalneuropsychiatry.org/ ... _hetta.pdf

Yes I was also diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Which absolutely was wrong. They didn't kow what to do with or call me. That was back in the early 90's. Later I was diagnosed with Aspergers and received proper treatment and I am doing much better with the right kind of help and understanding.

I'm not even sure what borderline personality is! I don't think even the doctors where I live knew what it was because it's kind of a miracle I was even diagnosed with Asperger's at all. At around 13 I supposedly had schizophrenia form disorder and "learning disability", although I was never sure what specific type of LD I had. I was really bad at math so I often call myself "mathlexic" or "mathaphobic".

Well that's true.
The problem is that the possible borderline behaviour is a very wide range of behaviours and nearly every behaviour can be seen as borderline behaviour. So if a psychiatrist once think you can be borderline, he/she'll finde enough "evidence" who supports his/her theory. Because you could even take the fact that I drank yesterday a coffee with milk, because I thought it'll be allright, despite the fact that I'm slightly lactose intolerant as selfharming behaviour and so had to go to the restroom more than once.
I mean you can see it this way. Ignoring the fact that I don't smoke, hardly drink alcohol, don't do any drugs and don't cut my self. Well I'm somehow addicted to the internet and to sugar. But a borderline specialist could say, that I want to beguile the people and so my selfharming behaviour just comes out by little thinks like the coffee and so on. I don't belive this, I'm just saying, that you could say so to show that nearly every behaviour can be made to "borderline behaviour".
In Germany this diagnosis is highly popular, at least in my area.
I even read articles in German, claiming that all people with gender dysphoria/Transgender have borderline or at least many.
That Michael Jackson, Robbie Williams or Mozart had propably borderline and so on. (not my opinion)
And that people with BPD are more creative. Is this true?
I don't know what I should think about this all. It kind of confuses me.
Maybe it's true that we are all "a bit borderline", I really don't know.

The only borderline like behaviour that I really showed in my option is the fact that I stayed there as an ambulant patient after my trauma in the locked up section and had very ambivalent feelings towards the people working in that psychiatric hospital. A fact, why I stayed there afterwards ambulant, that I still don't totally understand!?



Than you propably had dyscalculia.

I thought about this very long today and I have to say, I'm not a trauma-expert.

Okay, those are my symptoms:
I was locked away for two weeks, nearly two years ago.
I couldn't leave and I was held there against my own will.
I have claustrophobia.

After that I stayed ambulant in that psychiatric hospital.
I showed in that hospital the entire time a lot of signs of irritation, flash backs, highly emotional reation and ambivalence.
Towards the end those symptoms got less, but still stayed.
I never harmed myself, did drugs or do any other selfharming behaviour.
I normal life I didn't show those symptoms, but had problems concentrating or focusing on another tipic, I had flash backs and wrote those people, being involved in that traumatic situation a lot a especcialy my therapist who treated me in that hospital afterwards ambulant.
I was hugly afraid that this situation could happen again and got anxiety attacs when something in the therapy reminded me on the locked up section or this situation, sometimes they didn't start right away, but afterwards. I wrote about all that stuff, tonnes of letters.

Now, not being there anymore I feel reliefed, but I still continued staying there after that traumatic incidence for nearly another two years in therapy. But being in that situation I just kind of couldn't leave, I was stuck in that situation.
I had highly ambivalent feeling towards the people working in that psychiatric hospital and even informend myself about them.
Now, even just one week after I left there forever and not even being there anymore amublant, I show allready less symptoms than in this situation.

I didn't show any of this behaviour in other situation and those symptoms started with the trauma and were connected to it.

So, putting all this information together I kind of believe that it looks mainly like a form of Stockholm-Syndrome with PTSD-symtoms.

Well, anyone any thoughts on that?

I can easily see how a psychiatrist could mistake an autistic woman's meltdown for the melodramatic lashing-out of BPD, espcially if the psych is an old dinosaur from the bad old Freudian days.

People develop BPD because of a history of being betrayed or abandoned by those they trusted, their unstable emotional lashing out is out of fear of being abandoned.

For my old psychiatrist was everything that looks like borderline, borderline.
I mean melt downs, even traumatic symptoms, self injuring behaviour and so on.
I talked with her about it once and I was telling her that some autistic people have selfinjuring behaviour (I don't, I just wanted to show that there are some parallels, but that it's still something different, but it didn't work out). After that she was convinced that autism is just a temporary fashion and that most people diagnosed with autism just have borderline.

Well now, understanding that she just had a clichée thinking, this opinion really shouldn't bug me.
For a while I thought about it if her thinking about me could be correct, but what most convinced me that it isn't is the fact that very often I had trouble understanding her when she talked with that double meaning and so on.
If she would have been right, I would have more or less understood her sentences much more easily.
The first setting what actually really helped me was ironically the last one because she spoke very open and so on.

In the end she was interpreting pritty much everything into this direction.
Me not being able to understand her correctly, she thought I did this on purpose turned her sentences with my (she thought) high language IQ around and I would lie and stuff like this.
I toled her that I was tested my language IQ was 99, but my logical-abstract IQ 138, so I sometimes even have to search the right words. But after saying that she even felt more confinced because with saying that, she sayed I just wanted to manipulate her and so on.
Even the other diagnistic writing from the other psychiatrist, that I behaved there totally normal and was very well written was in her opinion just me manipulating him and in her opinion just she knows the "real truth" about me.

Now I'm so glad I don't have to go there anymore.



Well, I have a lot, but I definitively don't have that.

But now I wonder if my old psychiatrist really thought someone could develop borderline with 26 after a trauma or what she thought!?

But I have to admit, I was there very frightend and freaked there out a lot ans was highly abivalent, because of the trauma in that psychiatric hospital.

Cutting is all it takes to get a Dx of BPD. You don't need to meet the minimum criteria. Irresponsible psychiatrists consider self injury to be the ONLY criteria that is needed. This has been proven.

It is a very misused diagnosis. It does nothing but deny services and stigmatize people, especially women.

Anyone can be shaped into the BPD diagnosis. It is not that hard to do.

Why is it that way?

I was diagnosed due to admitting to meltdowns, suicidal ideation, and impulsiveness.

And I am seeing the same psychologist again on Tuesday. I forgot to ask to get a different psychologist because I finally got to see what she had written about me for my evaluation and I do not want to be around her again.