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Robdemanc
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24 Dec 2011, 4:28 am

theWanderer wrote:
Just to obtain food, I had to venture into a supermarket today. 8O There were billions of people, all rushing around, noise and movement and smells and... :eew: Total, utter chaos. My nerves are still jangled. The Christmas ideal ought to be Silent Night. That, I could get behind. ;)


I went in a big supermarket the other day and it was so charged with energy, people rushing around, music playing loud, and brightness everywhere, I nearly exploded. People seem to lose all sense at this time of year.



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24 Dec 2011, 4:50 am

hi! wish you all a happy holiday! we all have different kinds of personal christmas and ways to celebrate it, and reasons and what we think about those things. But whats important is that we may feel happy and loved this time of year.. we don't have to conform to everything everyone does to feel such. Lets do what we want to do or do what we have to do with whats planned for the holidays in the family out of love because its not all the time everyone could extend their compassion, care and concern and love to their loved ones, its just almost a reminding question before the year ends if have we given others joy and love more importantly ourselves..

im not saying people should agree with me but its also tradition and/or culture, an activity, we do for the holidays we could just partake to the occasion cuz its is special and only happen once a year, so maybe we could look forward in doing, experiencing and feeling what we usually dont at least just once for this year.. :D

anyways, have a good one everyone! xoxox


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Robdemanc
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24 Dec 2011, 5:52 am

NcNbl wrote:
hi! wish you all a happy holiday! we all have different kinds of personal christmas and ways to celebrate it, and reasons and what we think about those things. But whats important is that we may feel happy and loved this time of year.. we don't have to conform to everything everyone does to feel such. Lets do what we want to do or do what we have to do with whats planned for the holidays in the family out of love because its not all the time everyone could extend their compassion, care and concern and love to their loved ones, its just almost a reminding question before the year ends if have we given others joy and love more importantly ourselves..

im not saying people should agree with me but its also tradition and/or culture, an activity, we do for the holidays we could just partake to the occasion cuz its is special and only happen once a year, so maybe we could look forward in doing, experiencing and feeling what we usually dont at least just once for this year.. :D

anyways, have a good one everyone! xoxox


Sounds nice but I have a hard time understanding what love is and what I should do out of love.



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24 Dec 2011, 5:58 am

Robdemanc wrote:
NcNbl wrote:
hi! wish you all a happy holiday! we all have different kinds of personal christmas and ways to celebrate it, and reasons and what we think about those things. But whats important is that we may feel happy and loved this time of year.. we don't have to conform to everything everyone does to feel such. Lets do what we want to do or do what we have to do with whats planned for the holidays in the family out of love because its not all the time everyone could extend their compassion, care and concern and love to their loved ones, its just almost a reminding question before the year ends if have we given others joy and love more importantly ourselves..

im not saying people should agree with me but its also tradition and/or culture, an activity, we do for the holidays we could just partake to the occasion cuz its is special and only happen once a year, so maybe we could look forward in doing, experiencing and feeling what we usually dont at least just once for this year.. :D

anyways, have a good one everyone! xoxox


Sounds nice but I have a hard time understanding what love is and what I should do out of love.


Hi Robdemanc! :D sorry, well.. try to do what you think would make them smile or something they would appreciate that u know even if just little things, and out of love in the sense that it is something u want to do for them and would even get out of your way or your comfort zone a bit, which could be as simple as purchasing them a gift, or staying with them during the holiday gathering, doing a gesture u want to do for them that u want to do or is ok for u to do as well.. its the holidays, everyone should be happy or at least okay.. :D


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Robdemanc
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24 Dec 2011, 6:05 am

NcNbl wrote:
Robdemanc wrote:
NcNbl wrote:
hi! wish you all a happy holiday! we all have different kinds of personal christmas and ways to celebrate it, and reasons and what we think about those things. But whats important is that we may feel happy and loved this time of year.. we don't have to conform to everything everyone does to feel such. Lets do what we want to do or do what we have to do with whats planned for the holidays in the family out of love because its not all the time everyone could extend their compassion, care and concern and love to their loved ones, its just almost a reminding question before the year ends if have we given others joy and love more importantly ourselves..

im not saying people should agree with me but its also tradition and/or culture, an activity, we do for the holidays we could just partake to the occasion cuz its is special and only happen once a year, so maybe we could look forward in doing, experiencing and feeling what we usually dont at least just once for this year.. :D

anyways, have a good one everyone! xoxox


Sounds nice but I have a hard time understanding what love is and what I should do out of love.


Hi Robdemanc! :D sorry, well.. try to do what you think would make them smile or something they would appreciate that u know even if just little things, and out of love in the sense that it is something u want to do for them and would even get out of your way or your comfort zone a bit, which could be as simple as purchasing them a gift, or staying with them during the holiday gathering, doing a gesture u want to do for them that u want to do or is ok for u to do as well.. its the holidays, everyone should be happy or at least okay.. :D


Thanks. The problem I have is this "that I want to do", this concept is tricky for me when it comes to people. I don't particularly want to do anything with people, and I don't even know what these people might like. I am going to try to say little and just go along with what they are doing and pretend that I understand it.



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24 Dec 2011, 6:20 am

Robdemanc wrote:
NcNbl wrote:
Hi Robdemanc! :D sorry, well.. try to do what you think would make them smile or something they would appreciate that u know even if just little things, and out of love in the sense that it is something u want to do for them and would even get out of your way or your comfort zone a bit, which could be as simple as purchasing them a gift, or staying with them during the holiday gathering, doing a gesture u want to do for them that u want to do or is ok for u to do as well.. its the holidays, everyone should be happy or at least okay.. :D


Thanks. The problem I have is this "that I want to do", this concept is tricky for me when it comes to people. I don't particularly want to do anything with people, and I don't even know what these people might like. I am going to try to say little and just go along with what they are doing and pretend that I understand it.


i see.. ok, if u dont want to do anything with people, how about things you would like to do for these people? and how about those u want them to feel.. u kinda asked so i assume there is something you would want to do for them, i could help and guide u figure something out that wont be too much for u..

and what they like, u could get clues with what they watch, buy, also do and wear and talk about. what do they have a lot of, if u have been pretending to understand thats ok because thats what works for you and i assume it works with the people ur with, so we could also still pretend we understand why they like such things, so we could get them or do those things for them or some other things similar..
anyway nobody can get it head on right what others would want, its always the thought that counts.. :) that u want them to have something..


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24 Dec 2011, 6:40 am

I'm not looking forward to Christmas day; but am looking forward to the days between Christmas and New Year, when the pressure is off a bit.
I do like the food and Christmas TV, when I get a chance to watch it.

Already posted elsewhere...

I tend to play it safe when buying gifts at Christmas. I’ll either ask the person to suggest a few things they want, so I can choose a couple; or else I buy something very generic which just about anyone would like. It’s when I start getting creative with my present buying that I get into trouble. This is particularly true when buying for my wife, as I can have trouble getting into her head and working out what she might want. I have in the past bought her some pretty terrible presents which I thought at the time would be humorous or a bit special, but in fact in the end were very poorly received.
As for receiving presents myself, I’m not that fussed. I already have too many things, most of which I can’t even get too due to poor storage at our house. This includes a very expensive telescope which is stuck at the back of the shed, which I can’t even reach. I do however provide a list of stuff for those wanting to buy for me as I don’t think most people really understand me or what I might like.
As for Christmas itself, well I think my main problem is relaxing. I find it EXTRMELY hard to relax and get into the spirit of the season. Even as I type this post I’m getting stressed and upset by my children shouting a screaming and one child chanting the same thing over and over and over again! I’ve already lost the plot at least three times since finishing work on Thursday and have ended up screaming at the top of my voice for them to be quiet. That combined with the fact that there’s always something that needs to be done, which get sprung on me without warning, means that I’m constantly on edge. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy being with my family; on the rare occasions that everyone gets on and the kids aren’t fighting its great; but these occasions are so rare that often I feel it’s better to be at work as I feel more in control and less likely to have a meltdown. All in all, I like the idea of Christmas and spending time with the family and I have fond memories of Christmas as a child; but the reality is different. I don’t seem able to deal appropriately with others or summon up enough emotional control not to lose it. I think the only thing I can do is take some regular time-outs; perhaps go for an extended toilet break or a walk on my own before re-entering the fray; if there’s not enough opportunities for this, I’m sure I’m going to fall out with everyone, which I really don’t want to do.



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24 Dec 2011, 7:05 am

ghostar wrote:
Having grown up in a family environment where I was the only aspie (in a family with fours kids) and my parents were physically and verbally abusive, Christmas is pretty much the worst day of the year. I am almost 32 now and haven't spent Christmas with those monsters in a long time but the day is still tough.

My favorite thing to do is get Indian or Thai food and play Xbox and watch DVDs all day. That seems to really make me feel happy but nothing else works...so far.

In the past I have tried going along with friends' to their families' get-togethers and it invariably ends with me having to take anxiety medication and drink heavily to deal with the fake small-talk, the half-hidden looks people give each other every time I respond inappropriately (in their minds) to a question and the drunken cousins and uncles attempts to grope me. Why couldn't I have been born male? lol

I think Xbox and take-out is healthier for me! :wink:

Take out, Xbox and DVDs sounds like a pretty nice Christmas to me. :) Unlike yourself, I had reasonably good Christmas’ as a child. In fact I think sometimes it’s only those memories of Christmas’ past that make the whole experience bearable now. These days Christmas always seems like such an anti-climax and I must say I’m usually happy to return to work. This is probably because I like the routine at work, knowing where I’m going and what I’m supposed to be doing. This is something which is lacking for me at Christmas. :(



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24 Dec 2011, 8:39 am

I came here to complain about Christmas as well. I find it incredibly stressful as I do most holidays. We will have a quiet morning but than we have to go to my in-laws house to do the family thing. This ends up being stressful and noisy.

I dislike the way my wifes family does the present thing. They ask me want I want and than they give me something similar but not exactly what I want. They say that is because they like to surprise people with what they get them. If that is the case don't ask me what I want and than ask me to smile when I get it. Last year I asked for a coffee maker. Instead they got me a leather watch which would be great except for I am vegan and don't wear any leather.

I just wish Christmas could be a quiet relaxing day with immediate family instead of a ridiculous loud day filled with fake smiles and fake conversations.



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24 Dec 2011, 10:29 am

Just thinking about this as I stumble across this thread.

My parents always complain they have to much stuff already so for Christmas I just sort of assemble a food package. Like those store party trays of Salami and Cheeses or some chips and dip. It's handy for when they want snacks while watching Hockey on TV.

I still have to grab some wrapping though. For some reason in my mind wrapping up the gift has little importance. I wish I could just give them the gift. Oh well last minute on Christmas Eve I'll see if I can find some at Dollar General to wrap it so they can unwrap it tomorrow. There have been times in the past where I literally forgot to wrap them and brought out the stuff from my room Christmas morning and my mom was pissed. Sometimes it seems weird we still go through this. The whole open gifts things seems more like a tradition to have with young kids.

Maybe that's why their called Presents? It's all about a Presentation?

There is also some subtle nagging for me to go to Church Mass. I'm thinking if I skip it there will be complaining later so maybe I'll go.

But I think I can get some decent gifts handed out, do the church thing, and on Monday go some place to recharge. If the weather is okay I'm thinking a long walk down the city bike path.



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24 Dec 2011, 12:19 pm

NcNbl wrote:
Robdemanc wrote:
NcNbl wrote:
hi! wish you all a happy holiday! we all have different kinds of personal christmas and ways to celebrate it, and reasons and what we think about those things. But whats important is that we may feel happy and loved this time of year.. we don't have to conform to everything everyone does to feel such. Lets do what we want to do or do what we have to do with whats planned for the holidays in the family out of love because its not all the time everyone could extend their compassion, care and concern and love to their loved ones, its just almost a reminding question before the year ends if have we given others joy and love more importantly ourselves..

im not saying people should agree with me but its also tradition and/or culture, an activity, we do for the holidays we could just partake to the occasion cuz its is special and only happen once a year, so maybe we could look forward in doing, experiencing and feeling what we usually dont at least just once for this year.. :D

anyways, have a good one everyone! xoxox


Sounds nice but I have a hard time understanding what love is and what I should do out of love.


Hi Robdemanc! :D sorry, well.. try to do what you think would make them smile or something they would appreciate that u know even if just little things, and out of love in the sense that it is something u want to do for them and would even get out of your way or your comfort zone a bit, which could be as simple as purchasing them a gift, or staying with them during the holiday gathering, doing a gesture u want to do for them that u want to do or is ok for u to do as well.. its the holidays, everyone should be happy or at least okay.. :D


Translation: Screw how you feel, you should just go along with this stupid tradition cuz other people want you to, and nevermind the fact that Christmas doesn't make everybody happy. Holidays are just like any other day. They'll be here for 24 hours, and then they will fade away. And there's nothing special about them either. They come back every year, but they only get worse as time goes on. When I was a kid, we didn't see christmas decorations and promotions go up the second halloween was over. We didn't see any of that s**t until after thanksgiving, and thanksgiving actually existed then. People DECORATED for it, if you can imagine that. Now Santa's fat ass has to occupy half the damn calendar, and everything's "omfg, buy this s**t!" That's all any holiday is anymore, a shopping spree. If you don't partake in all the consumer whoring around, then you're labeled a grinch, an as*hole, whatever, and people say "where's your christmas cheer/spirit?" It's just like when I was in school and spirit week or whatever they called it rolled around, you know, the days near homecoming, where everybody does some stupid theme each day leading up to the homecoming game to show off their school spirit. Everybody would say "where's your school spirit?" Both of these intangible, abstract nouns are planted firmly in your rectum. Now leave me alone and keep me out of your stupid crap.

I've been asking to be left out of christmas now for about 5 years. I'm so damn sick and tired of it, I could strangle santa claus and every one of those stupid elves, and I'd poison the reindeer too for good measure. But sure enough, EVERY SINGLE YEAR, some asshat goes and gets me a present anyway and crams the whole f****n thing down my throat. Then if I don't do the same, even though I specifically said I didn't want ANYTHING in the first place, somehow people see me as an as*hole. I just want to be left the hell alone on christmas. Is that too much to ask for? is that so hard for you people obsessed with this lame ass holiday to do? If people want left out of christmas, LEAVE THEM THE f**k ALONE.



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24 Dec 2011, 1:44 pm

I like the holiday itself but like yourself, I don't like the social part that comes with it. Luckily I don't have to participate. When my house is full of people, I can just sit in my room and do what I do any other day and nobody will bother me. The only time I have to talk to people is when I go down to get some food or get a drink and I can away pretty easily since everyone is too drunk to notice me abruptly disengaging from a conversation and leaving the room. I prefer it when people are really drunk because its much harder to offend drunk people by not wanting to talk to them. Sober people on the other hand think its rude when you avoid talking to them. The good thing about christmas is everyone gets locked.



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24 Dec 2011, 1:46 pm

TheChamelion wrote:
I don't mind the idea of Christmas if you're religious, but when people who don't believe in god celebrate it, it really annoys me! :x
It's called 'Christ Mass' and if you don't believe in Christ why are you still doing it? :roll:


Because most of the traditions associated with Christmas aren't even related to Christ Mass, and never really were. Many of them predate Jesus, and all the most popular aspects are Pagan in origin.

You do know the Pilgrims not only did not celebrate it, but that the tradition was actually outlawed in early America?


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Saturn
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24 Dec 2011, 2:45 pm

Hi, I'm new to the forum and thought I would jump in here to make my first post.

I agree with a lot of what's being said in this thread.

I've been turning more and more against social and cultural norms and activities recently and so Christmas for me this year is being met in that context.

Basically, I'm not comfortable with it and I don't want to do it. I think in previous years I have felt like I ought to do it for moral and social reasons but those no longer hold sway over me.

I'm thinking of going for a long walk tomorrow or something.

Thought I was going to say more here but a lot has already been said so I'm off to have a look around the forum to see what else is being said.



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24 Dec 2011, 3:27 pm

Saturn wrote:
Hi, I'm new to the forum and thought I would jump in here to make my first post.

I agree with a lot of what's being said in this thread.

I've been turning more and more against social and cultural norms and activities recently and so Christmas for me this year is being met in that context.

Basically, I'm not comfortable with it and I don't want to do it. I think in previous years I have felt like I ought to do it for moral and social reasons but those no longer hold sway over me.

I'm thinking of going for a long walk tomorrow or something.

Thought I was going to say more here but a lot has already been said so I'm off to have a look around the forum to see what else is being said.


Welcome Saturn. I was hoping the weather would be nice tomorrow so I could go for a walk but I think in my part of the world it is going to rain.



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24 Dec 2011, 4:25 pm

I am definitely not a "Christmas person." I loved it when I was a kid, but the magic of the holiday has long since faded. I have no siblings or children, so the joy just isn't there for me. Worst of all, almost every Christmas was spent with childhood friends who one year decided to not share their holiday with us. So it is painful too.

You know what I always got a kick out of though... people take months and months to buy Christmas presents, oftentimes waiting until the very last day, but when it comes to returning gifts, they do it first thing the morning of December 26th. (I used to work in retail, so I know first hand.)

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