Female Aspies were you violent as a child?

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Only to myself and inanimate objects.

I used to get beaten up by my cousin quite a bit, so I couldn't inflict pain on someone else knowing what if felt like.

Not at all violent, really, though I'd fantasize some violence when kids hassled me. The only thing I remember is sitting next to a teenage friend, when I think I was under six, and hitting her in the side of the head with a heavy, metal toy gun. I remember doing it, I don't remember why, I wasn't angry or anything, and I don't even remember knowing that it would hurt. I just put up my hand and hit her. Oddly enough, I don't remember the consequences, either, though I'm sure there must have been some, especially since the incident itself is so strongly marked for me.

Oh yes, I could most definitely be violent as a kid, and not limited to retaliation to violence against me, either. Some examples: As a toddler i used to bite people just for fun until someone bit me back. At 6 I lost a board game to my grandfather and was so enraged that i started hitting him. He just laughed, which made me even angier and i completely lost it and hit as hard as i could (until my mother, mad as hell, pulled me away). At 7 I said that a word was written with ‘c’, my cousin corrected me and said it was with ‘s’, and I got so angry that I tried to hit her and ended up chasing her around the flat. I didn’t manage to catch up with her, but i grabbed a permanent marker during my chase after her and waved it wildly and 'drew' on her sweater that way. At 9 or 10 I kicked my mother in the calf in anger (don’t recall why, other than being angry).
Again, no acts of violence or bullying had been done to me at those times. There were other times when I did in retaliation but that is different IMO. Also sometimes rough play could get unintentionally out of control (always enjoyed play fighting).

After the bullying began in school when I was 9, hitting became my first response to all comments kids made to me. I got so much crap, I assumed they were always after me, and responded accordingly, until I was 11, going on 12, and a girl pointed it out to me. Believe it or not, I wasn’t aware that it was main response like that until she said it. I took that to heart and worked with myself on stopping it. There were some more fights/ physical conflicts, though, throughout the next years, but far less than there had been.

I have been and still am at times, guilty of occasionally destroying things or ripping books in anger. I can have a flash temper.

yes, fist fights galore (in my case it was other children who wanted to fight me so I did, not authority figures). sometimes I want to be violent now when I'm wronged but I don't because I have nightmares of going to far. I look up to myself as a second grader, She didn't take crap from no one. I feel like I've been angry the majority of my life.

I am not trying to be argumentative but I've read stuff that says that it's not unusual for female aspies to be more masculine & male aspies to be more feminine. And if you look at many members of this site you will notice a sort of white knight complex with the men, not the women, just sayin'.

Yes I was very violent.
probably more openly than my brother, I threw things and broke things one time In school I jumped on a girl who was bullying me and bit her.
people were scared of me.

I was aggressive as a kid, up until I was in jr high, then in high school I became verbally aggressive...this lasted till 12th grade.
Alot of my aggression I think was self defense. Even if I was defending myself from what most people would not call a threat...like loud noises.
Anyway, I could get territoral about my special interests as a kid, but I got accused of alot more than what I actually did.

However when it comes to meltdowns....yes I can be violent during them expecially if another person triggered it.
I remember once getting kicked out of a vocational rehab program when my mom called to tell me something that my dad did that was really crappy. I got madder as the day went on...and that night, someone happened to get an attitude with me and I just nutted up, then I get hauled into the office and the staff was like "ohhh I know how you feel" in a condicending way. I really lost it then and threw a chair at her and told that woman "you dont know Sh*t" and screamed like a banshe for 30 minutes I was kicked out the next day, but they let me in after 6 months to finish, thankfully.

Jojo

As I became a teen and a young adult I would react to things like bullying or being told to do something I hated by throwing things, screaming, and basically acting like a feral beast. But that was nothing compared to what the bullies would do to me. Treating me like some kind of freak because of my profound fondness of Garfield comics, throwing rocks at me, spitting on me and then flipping the bird, covering the lock to my locker with spit or snot, screaming out that I had AIDS and did drugs. One boy said vulgar and sexual things to me. I wasn't always safe even when I wasn't at school. Once I was playing a game at the arcade and several of them crowded around to harass me, screaming out "junkie!!" as I left.

Funny thing is, I was described as being "quiet and withdrawn" at school by a psychologist. When I was at home I was basically the opposite, although my brother made me think I was being driven into an early grave. Sometimes I would slam my head against the wall or door because he thought invading my room and privacy every day while my parents didn't do anything made him a complete genius.

I did have bad meltdowns that involved throwing things, cursing, and hitting myself. I also had a tendency to hurt others unintentionally if I were protecting myself. A girl yelled in my face and I out stretched my arms to keep her away and she fell and broke her arm. I also would push and hit others in the arm as a greeting. It was my way of saying hello. I hurt another girl once because she was saying bad things about my friend and I grabbed her necklace and pushed her into a locker. There was also this boy that I made eat grass and I hit over the head with a pop bottle. He liked me and I liked to dominate him because he was very ignorant. I found him very amusing.

My mom told me not too long ago I was pretty abusive. I do remember her telling me in 6th grade I hit her. I also remember trying to have ODD when I was 16 so I can get my way and I wouldn't have anxiety anymore because I was at my wits end with our puppy and the stress it was giving me and no one was listening to me so I decided "hey I will have ODD and then I will get my way and my life will be so much easier and I won't have to deal with all this stress." I had found a short cut to my problem but instead it backfired. But my mom told me I would hit her and pull her hair and she told me I started it in 8th grade (I guess I got more violent at 16 when I decided to have ODD) and she couldn't even turn her back on me or I would throw something at her. I was pretty shocked so I said I didn't know I was that bad, I only remember being violent sometimes and she said once a week was enough or once a month. Then by the time I was 16, she was so sick of my abuse, she threatened to put me in a hospital and I shaped up. I was pretty mean to my brother too but it was more verbal abuse I did. I am not real proud of my behavior and I don't know why I did it. My mother thinks I did it because I trusted her and my brother so I lashed out at them to get my anger out and I used it on them because I trusted them that they will always love me no matter what but you don't do that to a child because my brother was vulnerable but I was a kid myself so I didn't know. I don't know if years of misunderstandings lead me to do the abuse because of years of frustration and anger.

But my dad says the opposite, he says I was not violent, I was frustrated. Then he was saying 'no' when I told him my mom was going to send me to a hospital if I didn't stop.

I think I'm a bit like you but I don't think I'm violent though. Violence to me is a few steps up.

I sometimes struck back at my tormentors when I was a child and teen. I also had frequent meltdowns, and occasionally got physical during them, but again, it was usually caused by someone tormenting me. The stress caused by interacting with other people caused me to grow up into a hermit. Because I have little contact with people anymore, I am rarely tormented now, so I have much less stress in my life, and now rarely have meltdowns.

As a child, yes. This is why I dislike my younger self's persona, and most of my childhood. To almost everyone, particularly in classrooms. And to almost everything, because people wont leave me alone. I'm easily provoked. Especially to other children who teases a lot. (And who flirts a lot, which I didn't get it)

After diagnosis, I tried hard. Perhaps too hard to hide it all off. That treatment from my peers are simply the major cause of this hatred I still have. Yet I never had any problems from other adults.

At this present, I'm trying to be patient from their ignorance that I'm so sick of. As I build tolerance to many things...

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As a matter of fact I was a little violent as a child, but never a bully.

I was pretty violent but not intentionally so.

Almost all of my violent episodes were meltdowns - I could hit whoever started it and then and hit anyone who tried to calm me down, while crying, yelling and throwing stuffs. Other than that I was not aggressive. I was never hurting anyone without being provoked first. Unfortunately I was provoked often and other kids could hide what they did to me from the teachers so I was considered aggressive child that often starts fights. It was so unfair. I knew hurting people is bad and I was extremely sorry after I lost control over myself. I was never intentionally doing anything bad to other kids, even to my bullies. I was friendly, sensitive and naive. Yet I was the only "evil child" there.

The only exception was an episode in nursery - on my first day there I walked to the kids one by one and simply pushed 6 of them down before the caregivers realized what I am doing and stopped me. Apparently I "acted like I had no idea other kids are human beings and experimented to see what happens when they fall down" - as my mom described it.

I did not have daily problems with violence, but I did hit my sister quite often. I also hit a girl on the playground in 3rd grade. I always felt provoked.

In high school, my best friend told me he once thought I was going to throw a chair out the school window because I was so agitated.

Looking at people isn't violent, but I always felt like I could burn a hole through them by glaring when I was angry.

I've grown up a lot since then and gained a lot of self-control.