Why can't some aspies improve?

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I've met some aspies that just talk and talk, and step on your sentences, and just talk your f**king ear off, and never change their behavior no matter what they're told. They want to improve, but never seem to get it. Why is that?

this sounds exactly like my elderly father, I have no idea how my mother has put up with it this long. He went so far as to wear a rubber band on his wrist and slap himself with it to remind him to let other people talk, but it didn't really work. All my life I've raised my hand trying to get a turn to talk to him but if its really important I have to just interrupt or he will tell so many stories and go off on a thousand tangents that I completely lose my mind before he stops. At times I have to just leave the room or the one sided convo would never, ever, end.

My only guess is that possibly, it helps him to feel in control of his anxiety a little bit by constantly speaking and saying how things ought to be?

This is because going on and on is the natural behavior and not doing it requires remembering not to do it, then actually not doing it. Most of the time,the person who does it cannot remember not to do it, much less not do it.

It's complex.

Not every aspie presents the same way under all of the same conditions.
For example, around my family and very close friends, I'm much more apt to talk a lot. Around people i don't know or don't like, I'm practically mute.

If there is an aspie in your life that talks too much, it might ease your nerves and save them some embarrassment to just say gently and succintly: "Hey can i say something? You've been talking a lot." Or something similar.

For myself, I have a hard time telling when people are getting bored of listening to me. I'm told that I look bored of them when actually I'm concentrating on listening so cannot give them eye contact and listen at the same time.

I personally take it as a compliment that someone trusts me or likes me enough to engage for that long.

They just need a reminder then they are doing it.

My other tells me to shut up a lot.it only works for 30seconds. But the direct route is best,telling them to stop, if only for a very brief interval.

Another way to stop a talker is to start doing what they're doing yourself, so the can't talk. Or stop listening and don't even pretend to listen. Or leave the room, but make sure the talker doesn't follow. Or give the talker a toy to play with.

My mother often leaves the room when I am talking with my back turned. After awhile, I will notice that no one is there, but it will not bother me at all, and I will laugh and continue talking to myself as if I were talking to someone else.

Shut up, btbnnyr.

I always think someone is rude when they leave me talking. Why didn't they just tell me they were leaving?

I have been given a taste of my own medicine when I run into another talked and that made me realize. I try and let other people speak so I will pause for like five seconds to see of they talk. I have noticed that when other aspies do that, they wait a lot longer. But at least they are trying so that's all it matters.

A couple of times i've told someone I know well to make a certain motion with their hand or lightly touch my arm if I'm going on too long. I find visual or physical cues work better for me than auditory ones.

I used to be such an offender in this area that I have followed people into the men's bathroom while I talked and they walked away and I followed and they tried to hide and it didn't work.

But I only have these talkative moods sometimes. Most of the time, I am quiet.

I have this problem naturally, now I have my 6 year old Aspie son who has basically put a mirror in my face as he does it to me now all the time. (and everyone else, he'll talk the ear off of anyone)

So watching him and realizing it's what I've been guilty of has been a good lesson for me.

But I do have to remind myself to stop doing it, I can catch myself better these days then I used to.

One thing I've noticed is that I'll find myself repeating points just in another phrasing, it even irritates myself when I notice this. Anyone else do this?

another thing that I've done is to 'teach myself' to ask questions, it doesn't come naturally for me to ask questions, not an inquisitive person that way, or if I do wonder something it doesn't register with me to ask a question.

I'm getting better with that as well, but I've had to train myself to do this.

Yes

A lack of awareness,particularly if they don't know they have AS.Once you have an understanding of AS you can modify how you are behaving.I have a pretty good idea of my strengths and weaknesses.For example,I cannot function socially in group situations so I try and limit my exposure to them.