People not letting you get your point across

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Does this frustrate you? Can it end up in an outburst? It does for me. Sometimes I really, really want to know an answer about something so I try to ask somebody (mostly a close family member like my mum), and the other person gives the answer I'm not looking for, which makes me ask again in a higher ''whiny'' tone of voice, which makes the other person shout back, then I start getting frustrated and so I raise my voice up another level, and then the other person goes, ''ssssshhh!! !'' or ''shut up!'' or ''you go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on!! !'' or ''we have this conversation every day!'' (even though it's the first or second time I've ever brought it up), and those responses makes me really frustrated, because all these interruptions are preventing me from getting my point across, and I can't seem to rest until I have said what I wanted to say, especially if I really wanted to get to that answer I really desired. Even if I calm my tone of voice and say, ''look, I'm going to ask one more time in a calm manner'', and I do say it nice and calmly, the other person still shouts and hollars, so I've got to let them win before I have an angry outburst, which I'm trying to avoid this year.

Does anyone else have this annoying trouble? Do you wish that people understood that once they given you the chance to ask your question or say a lecture or whatever you wanted to say, then you will shut up?

1. Lower the pitch of your voice.
2. Speak slowly.
3. "Let. Me. Finish."
4. If they look like interrupting, just hold up your hand in a "stop" signal.

Slow and low-pitched comes across as calm and authoritative, and people respond to that.

Either that or just accept that you won't always get the answer you want. Unless you meant that they're doing the horribly frustrating thing of not answering the actual question you asked?

What happens to me is people constantly interrupt me to answer something they think I'm saying but do not seem to have understood or listened to what I was actually saying. My therapist actually referred to her constant interruptions and derailing of what I was trying to say as "reciprocal communication."

It may seem like that, but in fact, it's because people don't understand you,

They can't think in the way you think to get your point.

unfortunately, being polite they fail to explain that they just can't comprehend why you think in that way.

(or is this expectation of explaining that they just really really don't understand where you are coming from another aspie expectation... in fact they do so indirectly by talking about other things - trying to lead you to the right things to think about)

basically it is just due to the nt-aspie divide. You believe they do it on purpose, in fact it is not, you wonder how can they just not get your point and answer your question.

nts always seem to be digressing from the point you want to bring across, they talk about other things, and the point is lost - made less important...

probably understanding the above, will prevent any angry outburst. Mininmise hatred/ explosive anger, by increasing understanding of the situation.

I hate being interrupted too. It seems to be a cultural thing where people assume it's ok to talk over everybody. I've been known to flat out say, in that scolding voice that women in my family specialize in, "May I finish my sentences, please!"
(Yes, that's an exclamation point, because the tone of voice makes it clear that this is not a question.)

The best way I have found to handle interuptions is to say "Excuse me for talking while you were interruption, go on...." and smile sweetly.

They get the point, fast.

My problem is that when I need to explain something complicated - like at traffic court to Judge Bill about a ticket - I have to start FROM THE BEGINNING. To explain why it all happened in the first place, and how this led to this and so on. He's learned over the years that he just has to stop and listen to me or else I'll get mad and not give him any information at all and be rude.

I don't see him at traffic court a lot, just a few times, but I do see him for truancy court (parent notes vs doctors notes) which is all tied up in school funding, and once when my younger son was accused of doing something he didn't. He's found out that if he's quiet and lets me explain then he will get the full, true story and the information he needs.

I do this in general conversation too. I see him around town a lot and I've ran into him at Wal Mart in the fabrics dept where his wife sent him and I helped him find what he was looking for. That's actually when he got the point. The sales ladies were busy and he couldn't give a quick and to the point description of what he wanted. I know him outside of court and so I went over and asked him what he was looking for. He went into a long description, I asked what she was making, what she was going to use it for, etc. We found exactly what she wanted. He told me "Thank you, they just wouldn't let me explain. I knew somebody would understand if they would listen, I can't speak sewing language". I said "I feel exactly the same way when I have to go to court". It's like you could almost SEE a light bulb go off in his head. He's been patient ever since with me.

My younger son also will have a fit if somebody interrupts him. He clenches his fists and sometimes just growls and walks away. This does not go over well in school. He uses my line as well.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

or you could put your hand up like in school:)

Actually, I tell them my point, but they never understand it... :/

This annoys me. The other person decides you are stupid and can't understand the whole thing and starts explaining in an easy to understand way when you just don't get 1 point in 4. Then they talk and you can't get a word in to explain. Grrr!

YES!

I hate when people ask you a question and halfway thru the answer they interupt you aupset because you are not giving them the answer they want. But if they would just LET YOU FINISH, you would give them the answer they need. and they would be better able to handle what they asked you about.

But no they have to interupt and get upset. GRRRR!

I'll have to try OliveOilMom's line next time my mom interrupts me. She does that all the time, and it drives me up the wall!