why do aspies appear stupid to NTs ?

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In the future, people may or may not find out that, recently, there began a process of redefinition of intelligence and stupidity. The only thing that will prevent a person in possession of an intelligent mind from realising their true potential is self-confidence.

Hi! I'm responding as an NT. My son is AS and I've recently found this site and learned about Autism..thankfully!

My thoughts are that most NTs are a social civilization feel interconnected with social cues and social norms and communication. They have a need for it. In many situation they value those skills so much it can compensate for inadequacies in other areas. These skills are very much tied to feelings as one person can influence another's feeling of comfort or enthusiasm etc in that moment.

Since those on the spectrum do not always communicate or connect in this way NTs can pick up on that differences and instinctively might alienate you or assume the difference is because you're not smart enough to communicate in the same way. Which is an unfortunate and ignorant reaction on their part. This issue makes me concerned for my son and his sense of self and confidence.

Not all NTs feel that way, I want you to know. I hate to hear about the bullying and such and I think its important for you to remember there is nothing wrong with you. People are different in many ways and this is one of them. I think the difference is fascinating!

Processing speed is a lot more apparent in social interaction than problem solving, so if you are smart, but slow, like many autistic people, the slow will come across, not the smart.

NTs don't think that I'm stupid, but they seem to think that I'm quiet or shy and weird.

People sometimes talk to me like I'm stupid when I ask questions. They might not be aware that they sound condescending but they take on this tone of "how could you not know that?" And sometimes they assume I'm trying to be a smart ass, or just annoy them, when I'm really asking because I really honestly don't know.

And other times, when I ask a question and the other person answers, I realize I actually know a lot more about it than they do. But they still take the attitude "how could you not know that?" even when they can't really give an answer.

Sometimes I talk about things, or ask questions about things, other people have probably never even thought about. And if a person has never really thought about something, they automatically think it's stupid the first time they hear about it.

People just think I have learning difficulties.

With me, I think it's because when I was younger, I was the type who would get food on my face when eating, put my lipstick on crooked, or get my shorts twisted (depending on what kind I was wearing), and I would NOT be aware of this until it was pointed out by someone else.

:)

Making an organizational mistake, such as doing something out of sequence, gives the impression that you are globally incompetent -- " Are you Polish?"

I can read body language and feel intonation well, and they can communicate back my way a simpleton message. Sometimes I'm rundown, and once a lady spoke to me in a dumbing down tone, only due to my 'look' at this onetime. We, at a later time had an abstract discussion on the nature of cancer, and I out ran her in my the knowledge of this. It themed around an analogy and a simple dissection of systemic metastasizing. Surprised, because of my aforementioned "look," she said, "how do you know so much?" The impression apparently was that I don't.

I can stand there with a shirt collar untucked, just on one side, and someone will walk over and adjust it down. Patronising follows.

This is a repeated phenomena and I give something off in my little odd ways to elicit these reactions.

It's a legitimate cognitive bias, but none the less a sore spot.

Most people think I'm dumb because of the way my voice sounds. It is low, monotonous, and slurred. I have had run-ins with the cops because of it (they think I am intoxicated when I am not)

I can't really blame them, I mean it's an automatic response. Just the think of the typical low dumb voice and that is me. But my intelligence is above average. I have sometimes overheard people say "I thought he was ret*d" after they find out that I actually do have a brain and they are embarrassed about it.

I guess they are not to blame. It is an automatic response. Just goes to show how neurotypicals are really not as perceptive as they think they are. They are only perceptive of people who are exactly like them, which really means they are not so perceptive.

Whatever, I am angry right now. Yeah, people are always going to think we are stupid unless they are specifically educated about Asperger or until they get to know us very well.

It's because we have to THINK about things more, sometimes we forget to think and end up making a fool of ourselves.