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gyaspie
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22 Jan 2012, 12:45 am

why do aspies appear stupid to NTs ? is it due to their ability to interact well?



peterd
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22 Jan 2012, 12:52 am

Normal human interactions is mediated by microexpression recognition and response, all of which are on a faster timeline than the average aspies "think about it and respond" sort of cycle. Since we're not producing the "right" responses at the "right" times we're stupid.

It's not something they think about, it's something they know.



Rascal77s
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22 Jan 2012, 1:59 am

I like peter's answer but let me propose another theory... most of them are to stupid to know wtf we're talking about.



MountainLaurel
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22 Jan 2012, 2:04 am

What Petered said is exactly what I was thinking but he put it more succinctly than I would have.

I will add that unless NTs know that you're aspie AND have some understanding of the condition; some things you do will just seem bonkers to them. An example is my 30something neighbor lady; who I am now convinced is aspie (she is unaware of what AS is).

I've known her for years and know that she's intelligent. But from time to time she does something so seemingly stupid; it's jaw dropping. One day I was helping her re-pot a large indoor plant. She filled the large pot with soil, then while sitting on the ground with the pot almost out of reach, she tried to lift it. She looked up at me and said, now it's too heavy to lift. She didn't instinctively know that in order to lift a heavy pot she would need to stand directly over it and use a large number of body muscles; not just the strength of her hands and forearms.

Years later, now I think she's aspie and I can put her gaffs in perspective. She remains very intelligent but with some uneven abilities; such as the poor sense of body kinetics I observed in the pot episode.

AS traits are subtle enough to fly under the radar. Even those of us who have some understanding of it and can recognize it, require a lot of contact with someone to eventually have seen enough traits for an Aha! moment; that moment when the thought of Aspergers would explain everything.



artrat
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22 Jan 2012, 2:08 am

Because we are socially stupid.


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Miharu
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22 Jan 2012, 3:27 am

gyaspie wrote:
why do aspies appear stupid to NTs ? is it due to their ability to interact well?


I've never appeared stupid to NT's. Only shy/quiet.



creative_intensity
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22 Jan 2012, 3:51 am

Socially stupid very true!

But I do think it's true that we just take longer to process how to react, especially with non-verbal cues like facial expressions. Whereas an NT just does it automatically, we have to use up a lot of our "processor power" just to try and figure out how to react in a given situation. And even a slight lag in response time can come off as awkward or weird.

I'm always finding myself consciously trying to calibrate my facial expressions and responses, whereas most people never give it so much as a thought. They just do it on auto-pilot.



AnnettaMarie
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22 Jan 2012, 4:08 am

I don't come off as stupid, most people find me to be very intelligent and lazy. I'm just extremely socially awkward and do things that are confusing to some, and funny to others.


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creative_intensity
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22 Jan 2012, 4:11 am

Yeah, I would say I tend to get people saying I'm more "aloof" or just odd.



NerdbyDefault
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22 Jan 2012, 4:34 am

We think differently to Nt's meaning things sink in differently. Due to thinking logically i have often had people make jokes to me that demand i quick simple response instead i normally ponder about thinking "what, thats not right, what you said doesn't make sense". I'd say its probably because we think too much meaning we do things the hard way all the time when alot of the time the simplest way is the best. Also people may depict us as idiots simply because they are ignorant themselves, this is possibly the most fraustrating because of typical NT thinking " look he/she thinks they know more than me but dont listen to him/her is diferent so therefore wrong and what comes out there mouth is just jibber jabber". Also people think were dumb simply because they havent given us a chance to be smart, the problem is the facf that once someone has had a first impression of you its very difficult for you to change it so when they are first greeted by a shy, passive socially awkward individual there imedietly going to wright you off as an idiot. Or maybe some people are just imature jerks lol.



169Kitty
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22 Jan 2012, 5:21 am

I don't think I come off as stupid but mostly just awkward and not somebody they want to hang around with when they want to have fun. People who get to know me often tell me I'm very intelligent and talented.

However, I can see why some people would think people with AS are stupid. Like someone else wrote, it's probably a social thing. If I'm asked a question I'm not prepared for then I have a hard time answering. My social situations are controlled enough that I can usually predict what may be discussed and I take a lot of time beforehand to mentally prepare. Trying to appear NT is exhausting. When I go home I often have to take a nap.


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Keeno
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22 Jan 2012, 5:24 am

People would think I was either extremely intelligent or extremely stupid, varying from person to person. It's a question of what each person valued in terms of intelligence to get through life. People would think I was stupid because they valued social intelligence, emotional intelligence and common sense more than anything.



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22 Jan 2012, 6:56 am

Lot of people think people who have poor social skills don't use their common sense and they think they are the easiest to know. They also think people who have no idea they are being rude or offensive are dumb. So of course we are going to come off that way to them so they are going to think we are stupid. Also we process things differently so things we aren't getting they would get, they think we are dumb.



KickingBird
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22 Jan 2012, 7:28 am

creative_intensity wrote:
Yeah, I would say I tend to get people saying I'm more "aloof" or just odd.


My sister says I am neurotic.



CrazyCatLord
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22 Jan 2012, 7:53 am

What peterd, MountainLaurel and artrat said.

The shoe is often on the other foot in online environments with purely text-based communication, where writing skill trumps verbal ability and social instinct, and where quality / clarity of thought is more important than being quick on the uptake and fast to respond.



NerdbyDefault
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22 Jan 2012, 9:17 am

We think differently to Nt's meaning things sink in differently. Due to thinking logically i have often had people make jokes to me that demand i quick simple response instead i normally ponder about thinking "what, thats not right, what you said doesn't make sense". I'd say its probably because we think too much meaning we do things the hard way all the time when alot of the time the simplest way is the best. Also people may depict us as idiots simply because they are ignorant themselves, this is possibly the most fraustrating because of typical NT thinking " look he/she thinks they know more than me but dont listen to him/her is diferent so therefore wrong and what comes out there mouth is just jibber jabber". Also people think were dumb simply because they havent given us a chance to be smart, the problem is the facf that once someone has had a first impression of you its very difficult for you to change it so when they are first greeted by a shy, passive socially awkward individual there imedietly going to wright you off as an idiot. Or maybe some people are just imature jerks lol.