Want to go on vacation, but have no 1 to go with. Pls advise

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Aspie1
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26 Jan 2012, 12:41 am

(I don't make a habit of writing in text speak, but thread titles have a length limit. Oh well.)

I've been working at my current job for the past two years without ever taking a vacation, so I'm definitely burned out like a light bulb. I know I need to take a vacation, and I don't care if it'll be unpaid. The problem is that I have no one to go with. My friends are all busy and can't go with me, I don't have girlfriend, and my family aren't the best travel companions. That's why I've been putting it off. I coped by taking weekend getaways in the past, but now I reached a point where that's just plain insufficient. I need to get away for at least a week, to an area not covered by cell phone networks, at least not without outrageously expensive roaming.

Again, I have no one to go with, and it stopped being a stopping factor for me (awkward phrasing, I know). I'll go on vacation by myself if I have to, and I'll just bite the bullet and pay the single supplement. I know some vacation companies provide roommate matching, but I don't feel comfortable rooming with someone I just met; what if he steals my cash, or worse, writes down my credit card numbers? So the peace of mind makes it worth the extra cost.

At this point, I narrowed it down to two options: a cruise, singles' or otherwise; or an all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean. Both are within the same budget range, flight and all. So far, I made the following lists of pros and cons.

CRUISE:
Pros:
-> Cruises, even non-singles', are better for solo travelers, who sit together in dining rooms.
-> People on cruises tend to mingle more.
-> I get to see local ports of call and practice my Spanish while there.
-> It'll be a fun new experience I never tried before.
-> Cruise ships have very strict security, to protect me from possible shady passengers.
Cons:
-> Alcohol prices are outrageously high, and I'm a big drinker.
-> Cruise lines tend to nickel and dime you.
-> I heard horror stories of cruise lines falsely charging people for things they never bought.
-> At sea days will be boring, with no one to just talk to.

RESORT:
Pros:
-> Most day-to-day things are already paid for, so no need to worry about their costs.
-> Alcohol is included in the vacation price.
-> I get to follow the liberal Third World laws, rather than the strict American laws.
-> Resort schedules are less regimented than cruise schedules.
-> I can practice my Spanish with the workers and get better service as a result.
Cons:
-> Eating alone, surrounded by couples, groups, and families, will be extremely awkward.
-> Typical days tend to be boring, unless you take pricey excursions.
-> If I run into a shady hotel guest, there is little or no security to protect me.
-> I have to seek out a more expensive hotel that has organized activities.

Anyway, which option would you recommend that I go with: cruise or resort? Waiting until I find someone to go with is not an option, because it could be another year before it happens. So I resigned myself to vacationing alone, come hell or high water. Of course, a big miracle could happen, and I might meet a girl in the next few months who'll like me enough to go on vacation with me, but I'm not holding my breath for it. Traveling solo it is, and I accept that.

So what's it going to be? Post your thoughts/comments/suggestions.



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26 Jan 2012, 1:34 am

Soounds like your just taking a holiday for a break rather then an adventure. Choose something yOu really like doing and work that into a vacation that way the emphasis is on doing fun activity based things rather than attempting to socialize. Social interaction is so much easier when you are interested in the activity if you enjoy drinking find a holiday that includes lots of it. My best holidays have all been On my Own so I can control the solitude level. I did go divIng for 5 days on A live ore boat in a shared room with 3 others but the PeoPle in the room kept changing so that was good all very superficial relationshiPs on my terms and I was anonymous to a point so could be as weird as I wanted. Plus with scuba diving 5
Times
A day I had all the deep Pressure of the suit and low light Underwater plus the constant rocking of the boat to calm my senses.
I drove around new Zealand by muself and stayed in a tent I only saw others on kayaking glacier hikes and dolphin snorkels it was awesome I spent almost a whole day crying over how beautiful the scenery was and how glorious complete solitude was.
Do something you love and do it by yourself cause other people mean you have to share the holiday and comprise all the time.


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26 Jan 2012, 3:41 am

Aspie1 wrote:
(I don't make a habit of writing in text speak, but thread titles have a length limit. Oh well.)

I've been working at my current job for the past two years without ever taking a vacation, so I'm definitely burned out like a light bulb. I know I need to take a vacation, and I don't care if it'll be unpaid. The problem is that I have no one to go with. My friends are all busy and can't go with me, I don't have girlfriend, and my family aren't the best travel companions. That's why I've been putting it off. I coped by taking weekend getaways in the past, but now I reached a point where that's just plain insufficient. I need to get away for at least a week, to an area not covered by cell phone networks, at least not without outrageously expensive roaming.

Again, I have no one to go with, and it stopped being a stopping factor for me (awkward phrasing, I know). I'll go on vacation by myself if I have to, and I'll just bite the bullet and pay the single supplement. I know some vacation companies provide roommate matching, but I don't feel comfortable rooming with someone I just met; what if he steals my cash, or worse, writes down my credit card numbers? So the peace of mind makes it worth the extra cost.

At this point, I narrowed it down to two options: a cruise, singles' or otherwise; or an all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean. Both are within the same budget range, flight and all. So far, I made the following lists of pros and cons.

CRUISE:
Pros:
-> Cruises, even non-singles', are better for solo travelers, who sit together in dining rooms.
-> People on cruises tend to mingle more.
-> I get to see local ports of call and practice my Spanish while there.
-> It'll be a fun new experience I never tried before.
-> Cruise ships have very strict security, to protect me from possible shady passengers.
Cons:
-> Alcohol prices are outrageously high, and I'm a big drinker.
-> Cruise lines tend to nickel and dime you.
-> I heard horror stories of cruise lines falsely charging people for things they never bought.
-> At sea days will be boring, with no one to just talk to.

RESORT:
Pros:
-> Most day-to-day things are already paid for, so no need to worry about their costs.
-> Alcohol is included in the vacation price.
-> I get to follow the liberal Third World laws, rather than the strict American laws.
-> Resort schedules are less regimented than cruise schedules.
-> I can practice my Spanish with the workers and get better service as a result.
Cons:
-> Eating alone, surrounded by couples, groups, and families, will be extremely awkward.
-> Typical days tend to be boring, unless you take pricey excursions.
-> If I run into a shady hotel guest, there is little or no security to protect me.
-> I have to seek out a more expensive hotel that has organized activities.

Anyway, which option would you recommend that I go with: cruise or resort? Waiting until I find someone to go with is not an option, because it could be another year before it happens. So I resigned myself to vacationing alone, come hell or high water. Of course, a big miracle could happen, and I might meet a girl in the next few months who'll like me enough to go on vacation with me, but I'm not holding my breath for it. Traveling solo it is, and I accept that.

So what's it going to be? Post your thoughts/comments/suggestions.


I wouldn't assume cruise ships have better security than a resort.

There are other options. I know there are group vacation. There might be one specifically for singles. There are also volunteer projects abroad.



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26 Jan 2012, 3:59 am

My personal opinion is to go for the cruise.


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Matt62
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26 Jan 2012, 2:40 pm

My personal preference would be for the cruise. But hey, its what you want to do!
I go places alone all the time these days, so I wouldn't have a problem doing it.
Whatever you decide, just get away from work for awhile!

Sincerely,
Matt



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26 Jan 2012, 6:47 pm

Do you have any special interests that there might be conventions or gatherings about? You could see about attending one, if that's the case! Or some sort of workshop series or retreat. That's a great way to meet other people with similar interests.



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27 Jan 2012, 12:31 am

It looks like more people are in favor of the cruise than the resort. I was leaning toward the cruise too, assuming I wouldn't find anyone to go with, so this is helping confirm my decision. I read that Carnival Cruises is really good about seating solo travelers together in the dining room; a number of other cruise lines, especially upscale ones, tend to sit solo diners alone at small, less-desirable tables. After all, an Arab proverb says: he who eats alone, chokes alone. Plus, there seems to be a stronger stigma attached to a man vacationing alone than a woman doing the same. So, anything that helps me blend in will help amazingly.

A land-based all-inclusive resort just plain won't work in my case. People go there in pairs, groups, or families almost 99% of the time. So I'll definitely be sticking with the cruise, unless one my friends suddenly agrees to come with me in the next few weeks. Cruises are more accommodating of solo travelers, it seems. Way more so than resorts, despite the lower single supplement at hotels. (Less than 25% at hotels vs. up to 100% on cruises.)

Even if it'll make solo travel easier, I will not do a volunteer project or a convention. After all, it's a volunteer job, albeit short-term. And the main reason why I'm even considering doing this is to prevent myself from going insane from job burnout. So I don't even care for an adventure. I once did, but that was before my job burned me out like a light bulb. I just want to sleep in, veg out on the lido deck, overeat at the midnight buffet, smoke a cigarette while looking at the ocean, drink like a fish (and screw the prices!), try out my Latin dancing skills in the nightclub, and pass out in my stateroom. And oh yeah, see some interesting ports of call while I'm at it. Since I'm forced into going on a cruise alone, I just want to get the most out of it without looking weird and feeling awkward (a common concern for any person cruising solo, NT or aspie).

I guess now comes the hard part: e-mailing my boss with a time-off request. My company is extremely stingy with vacations. But since I haven't gone on a real vacation since 2006 and worked at my company for 2 years by now, my odds of him saying yes are good. Should I actually go through with the cruise, I'll post about it and probably solicit advice as well.



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27 Jan 2012, 2:00 am

Resort. I thought a cruise was terribly boring as a kid. The resort had a lot of random people you'll never see again to talk to, and as a kid, I liked it, as all the kids were friends with eachother for a week. I liked it because everyone got to be "cool" in a sense, that there was no reputation carried over when you were at the resort. Some of my most "NT" times I've had in my life were at those resorts. Plus a resort, you can drive or rent a car, and go to all kinds of places in the surrounding area. I'd be much more scared of a cruise, despite security there, it just felt shady being on a cheap cruise. A noncheap cruise might not feel shady, but but the cheap cruise I was on felt shady, there was no wifi back then, but the rooms were SMALL and had no TVs or anything, so I was super bored as a kid, without mp3 players and whatnot. Maybe now you'll be less bored, but the rooms were small on the cruise I was on. Maybe I would enjoy the cruise now as an adult, but as a middle/high school kid, I thought resorts were where it was at.

My last vacations were in a timeshare in Vermont and New Hampshire, and I totally loved it. I was with my family, I'd have LOVED going alone, though. It's only a few hundred miles from where I live, and it felt like a different like, country compared to where I was at. I'd go hiking, swim in the river, go ice skating, or when it rained, just stay in and watch anime. I think I used the actual hotel pool like once or twice at each hotel, I was too busy just playing in the woods away from everyone. Driving around, too, on the nice country roads without people, that was wonderful.



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28 Jan 2012, 3:25 am

1000Knives, your situation is different, since you were cruising with your family. Yes, you felt bored or lonely, but at least you had "built-in" companions for meals and shows. I will be doing everything alone, unless the maitre d' in the dining room sits me at the singles' table (the Carnival Cruises line has them). Shows are less of a problem, and dance lessons with rotating partners are a golden opportunity for meeting people, plus I'm a good dancer. Either way, the cruise is less than a week long, so even if it won't be that great, going alone and all, it'll go by quickly, and even then, it'll have enough redeeming aspects to make it worth my while overall.

Resorts are very much family- and couple-oriented, which makes it a bad choice for me, a solo traveler. Hey, you went with your family when you had a good experience at one. While on a cruise, I might evoke a reaction in the line of "he's going alone, hmm, I wonder what his deal is, but that's his decision". On a resort, I'll really stick out like a sore thumb and feel out of place almost everywhere I go, like on an island of loneliness in a sea of couples and families.

My mind is made up: cruise it is! I have not yet made reservations, since I still need to request time off at work. But once I do, it's go time! So let's change the tone of this thread: please post some suggestions on how to make the cruise more fun. If it helps, I'm male, late 20's.



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28 Jan 2012, 5:20 am

Thats great you have made the decision to go on a cruise.
Now you need to get the right attitude and do some planning to ensure that you won't want to jump ship if your worst fears come true.

Basically throughout this thread you keep mentioning the fact that everyone will be able to notice that you are on your own as if you will have a flashing neon sign saying "no friends" on your forehead. So you have a few insecurities we all have them, but the important thing to know is that no-one else will pick up on them unless you mention it. People generally are so wrapped up in themselves that they fail to notice other peoples circumstances. So don't worry about being weird on your own, anyway I bet there are other people alone on the cruise, they are renouned for singles trying to pick up as many people as possible.

You will most likely never see the people on the cruise again so just do whatever you want, enjoy yourself as much as possible cause you deserve it you have worked hard for this holiday and you have paid good money so get out there so go get your moneys worth.

It sounds like the dancefloor is where you are most confident so you can just dance it up all night and that in itself is a great way to pick up girls if you are inclined. (Remember you never have to see them again). You can sleep in each day, enjoy a good book relax and just enjoy. No stress.

Sounds perfect.


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28 Jan 2012, 8:03 am

I was going to mention that if you're a big drinker, are there any people you could meet online through your interest in drinking for a lads' holiday?



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28 Jan 2012, 11:23 am

Sharkgirl wrote:
You will most likely never see the people on the cruise again so just do whatever you want, enjoy yourself as much as possible cause you deserve it you have worked hard for this holiday and you have paid good money so get out there so go get your moneys worth.

It sounds like the dancefloor is where you are most confident so you can just dance it up all night and that in itself is a great way to pick up girls if you are inclined. (Remember you never have to see them again). You can sleep in each day, enjoy a good book relax and just enjoy. No stress.


I slightly disagree with the "never see those people again" thing. That may be true for the last night, but the earlier nights, I don't want to make the mistakes I used to make back when I was younger and stupider :), like approaching every girl when they're within the line of sight of each other. It'll just make things awkward if I see them on the lido deck. Since 2009, I focused on the Latin dance scene, where people are extremely open to dancing with new people, rather than the mainstream rap/techno clubs, where getting a girl to dance with you is a lesson in frustration even for NT guys.

I already talked about this to my friends, at least just to bounce the idea off them. They all acted very supportive of my idea; I'd be the only one in my group of friends who cruised. (I tried inviting them, but they couldn't go.) As for the drinking, Carnival let you pre-order liquor by phone, so a good-sized bottle is already waiting for you in your cabin when you arrive. There are sites that do organized singles' cruises, but trips with them cost $2000, as compared to just $600+airfare I'll pay for my trip. Plus, they stick you with a roommate (same sex), and I don't feel comfortable rooming with a guy I don't at least sort-of know in a cramped cabin.

Speaking of cabins, the only downside to it all is that I have to get an interior cabin; others are too expensive, up to $1700 for single occupancy. Now, it's pitch black in those things with the lights off and the door closed; but honestly, that's so minor compared to a vacation I might be finally getting, that I'll find a way to make that a non-issue. Plus, it eliminates that "oh no" feeling when you wake up having met someone while wearing high-strength beer goggles ;).



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28 Jan 2012, 2:00 pm

In case it is relevant to anyone, I once went alone on a horseriding holiday while my husband was at a festival. That went really well although involved sharing rooms with strangers. Everyone ate together in the farmhouse at breakfast and in evenings and came together for tea and cakes after the ride mid afternoon. It didn't matter so much that I was on my own and was quite structured with activities at certain times. There was someone else on their own trying to build up riding fitness.
There are also singles holidays. My husbands aunt is in her 60-70s and was happy globetrotting on her own and she has friends and now a new man to travel with. It can be seen as adventurous.

Anyway not relevant to you if you are cruising. I wouldn't worry about your age. We holidayed in a campervan and one of the campsites remarked on our age which I think is because older people can afford to buy a campervan or because we are different!
I looked at my in laws cruise brochures and they have lots of activities e.g. learning a new skill, exercise classes, gyms, pools, cinemas so I'm sure you could do stuff like that. They like it as issues with flying. There are also shows and excursions. There may be some dress codes and rules on tipping. It sounded like the food was good and they could just help themselves all day. You could just relax a lot and read and swim. If anyone asks you could just say you have always wanted to go on a cruise and thought why wait.