Advice needed for a parent whose child may have AS

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Lupine_Ragdoll
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23 Oct 2006, 5:59 pm

For a while I've suspected that my cousin most likely has AS, and his teachers recently spoke to my aunt about it. She's now looking into getting a diagnosis, but from what I've heard, she seems quite upset about the possibility of her son having AS. Can anyone here please give any advice that I could give to her on how to best support my cousin, and that might help comfort her? I want to show her that AS isn't all bad, but I'm not sure what to say that'll really reassure her.


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markaudette
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23 Oct 2006, 6:16 pm

The quickest way I think I can put a positive spin on AS is to tell someone that it is believed Albert Eistein had AS. If THAT'S not a ringing endorsement, I don't know what is!

Just help your Aunt stay WELL informed about AS. That can help a lot. The more she knows about it, the less she may be inclined to fear AS.



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23 Oct 2006, 6:47 pm

By all means explore Asperger's and any other explanation that will shed light on your cousin's situation. But take your aunt's concerns into consideration too, and make sure you look at some of the NONpathological approaches as well. "Different" is not the same as "disabled."

By the way...

Newton, Einstein, Jefferson, and others who reputedly had Asperger's, in fact did not. That opinion is based on a misunderstanding of who those notables were.

geezer



markaudette
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23 Oct 2006, 8:11 pm

I stand corrected.



Dewclaw
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23 Oct 2006, 11:44 pm

Asperger's is mostly not a bad thing, just different. What makes it bad is when society says it's bad and then makes it harder on the person with autism. So what if the person likes to study about one subject more than other people? Now if the person would rather read than eat and shower and go to school, then that's an obsession and not just a strong interest, and therefore, a problem. So what if the person likes stimming? As long as they aren't cutting themselves or not disrupting other people, then it isn't a problem. The person is an individual just like everyone else. Enjoy the positive traits. Sometimes communicating can be remarkably difficult. Educating yourself and honestly developing some empathy will go a long ways.



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23 Oct 2006, 11:58 pm

All I know is special help in school go a long way. I mean, when I was in my begining years at school it was incredibly hard on me. While reading a book I could read it, but didn't understand it. If my child had AS like I did, I'd just think of it as a chance to be more involved in their life. I mean, my mom was always there for me and still is. Now just because she was there for me and gave me all that extra help I needed when I needed it, I'm an A and B student outside of special Ed. Most people in my area who have AS are in special Ed. and the fact that I was able to go beyond that in the educational system makes me feel great. I'm sure my mom feels the same way. You see, though it may sound like it in my notes up above, I wasn't learning disabled. I mearly learned in a differnt way then most. It's kind of like learning a second language when you go to school for the first time. I mean, when I was horribly sad my mom had no idea. She never knew what to do till she finally just asked me what she could do to help and I asked her to hold me. All I wanted was some reassurance and someone to be close to, and she gave that to me. For that I am grateful.



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24 Oct 2006, 12:38 am

You need to talk with her about the advantages of having AS, more than disadvantages.



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24 Oct 2006, 4:42 am

I have a Mind of my own and a strong Personality. I'm influenced by nobody. I also have very Regal tastes and Speech Patterns for a Canadian. I'm also more mature than some people who are twice my age. I also enjoy my own company, very much. An Accent and a strong Mind can be very good things to have.



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24 Oct 2006, 9:58 am

If your child ends up with a Cockney Accent, or a Texas Twang, please don't tell the child not to talk through their nose. Accents add character, and that type of character should never be taken away from a child.



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24 Oct 2006, 9:35 pm

geezer wrote:

By the way...

Newton, Einstein, Jefferson, and others who reputedly had Asperger's, in fact did not. That opinion is based on a misunderstanding of who those notables were.

geezer


Which is just another opinion. There are those who still believe that some or all of them did, and those who believe that some or all of them did not. Until we have a biological test (which would only help prove or disprove Einstein) or a time machine, we won't ever know for sure.



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27 Oct 2006, 11:11 am

And it doesn't really matter at this point. Just be honest with her and don't be afraid to mention the advantages of having AS.

How old is your cousin?


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Pippen
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27 Oct 2006, 12:19 pm

When I was a parent going through that I really benefitted from a forum that had a lot of parents who'd already been through it before me. They reassured me that it was okay--that my child was still the same although we might have some challenges we'd not anticipated. They also were excellent about giving specifics about things like speech and occupational therapy and dealing with specific behavioral issues.



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27 Oct 2006, 12:22 pm

AS is neurological and, on a larger scale, biological. A kid who has AS before a diagnosis will still have AS afterwards. AS is built into the way someone views the world and how they think and interact with both things and people. Having a diagnosis would only really put a name to their particular way of thinking.


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