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Shambles
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08 Feb 2012, 6:38 pm

Well, I'm not completly obsessed, more fascinated by this teacher. I don't find them attractive or anything, I'm just intrigued by their way of teaching and personality. He's the only teacher I can stay after class to talk to because he's such a comforting person ... He cares about everybody in the class and is not like a lot of other teachers who are just concerned about how much work you do. He actually cares about our well being, which I find amazing.

Also he seem to be one of the few people who make you feel great about yourself because he understands everyone is an individual and doesn't undermine you, other people do the complete opposite.

Some of the other students seem to be fond of him too so I dont think it's just me who finds him interesting! :D

I was wondering, has anybody ever felt this attached to someone who isn't a family member?


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08 Feb 2012, 8:20 pm

Of course. Sometimes people have that effect on you. In your case, the person sounds great, but that can happen with people who aren't so great, yet there's just some chemistry there you can't put your finger on.



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08 Feb 2012, 8:22 pm

I have had long conversations and friendships with teachers in the past.
I couldn't relate to the other kids but could relate to adults.
There is nothing at all wrong with that!


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08 Feb 2012, 8:26 pm

Sure, it's like the platonic version of having a crush. You're attracted to the person, you want to be their friend; you admire them or you just think they're really fun to be with, so you look forward to seeing them. I've experienced that occasionally.


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08 Feb 2012, 9:11 pm

There was a teacher at my school that I really liked when I was in Grade 7. I used to hang out with him and talk to him, every time that I had the chance to do so. I was able to relate to him on many levels. Those are the best memories that I have about school. :)


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Callista
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09 Feb 2012, 12:48 am

It's always teachers with you guys? I've only ever experienced it with people my own age, or thereabouts--at any rate, within ten years or so of my age.


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09 Feb 2012, 4:20 am

I had that with a teacher at school. I have come across a couple of carers who I felt like that with as well. It's got nothing to do with feeling love for them in a sexy way, more that I just want to talk to them and be with them because I think they are awesome! It probably doesn't help that I don't get out much though...


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09 Feb 2012, 4:52 am

Shambles wrote:
Well, I'm not completly obsessed, more fascinated by this teacher. I don't find them attractive or anything, I'm just intrigued by their way of teaching and personality. He's the only teacher I can stay after class to talk to because he's such a comforting person ... He cares about everybody in the class and is not like a lot of other teachers who are just concerned about how much work you do. He actually cares about our well being, which I find amazing.

Also he seem to be one of the few people who make you feel great about yourself because he understands everyone is an individual and doesn't undermine you, other people do the complete opposite.

Some of the other students seem to be fond of him too so I dont think it's just me who finds him interesting! :D

I was wondering, has anybody ever felt this attached to someone who isn't a family member?


I recently applied for a teaching position so I guess it's good to be considerate towards students. However it is wrong for a teacher to develop personal relationships and feelings towards a student and if an incident in which a student falsely accused a teacher, he student could use their personal relationship as an allegation against the teacher. If you feel like you or anyone else is putting the teacher in an awkward position, it is best to advise them against it.



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09 Feb 2012, 7:56 am

I tend to get obsessed with ordinary sort of people. Never celebrities. I hear a lot of people bring up Justin Bieber. I don't even know who the f**k that is, except he's some sort of singer.


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Callista
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09 Feb 2012, 10:36 am

Wolfheart wrote:
I recently applied for a teaching position so I guess it's good to be considerate towards students. However it is wrong for a teacher to develop personal relationships and feelings towards a student and if an incident in which a student falsely accused a teacher, he student could use their personal relationship as an allegation against the teacher. If you feel like you or anyone else is putting the teacher in an awkward position, it is best to advise them against it.
I think that refers primarily to romantic relationships. It's perfectly acceptable and common for a teacher or professor to mentor a student who needs extra help, shares similar interests, or plans to go into the same area of research as what a professor is currently involved in. If it doesn't affect the way the teacher/prof grades the students' work, it's a good thing, not a bad thing. I've had more than one professor who did this sort of thing for me, when I got behind and needed help. I have one prof now who is working in developmental psychology research and knows lots of interesting things. I go to her office sometimes and ask her questions, and she doesn't mind.


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Shambles
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09 Feb 2012, 11:05 am

Callista wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
I recently applied for a teaching position so I guess it's good to be considerate towards students. However it is wrong for a teacher to develop personal relationships and feelings towards a student and if an incident in which a student falsely accused a teacher, he student could use their personal relationship as an allegation against the teacher. If you feel like you or anyone else is putting the teacher in an awkward position, it is best to advise them against it.
I think that refers primarily to romantic relationships. It's perfectly acceptable and common for a teacher or professor to mentor a student who needs extra help, shares similar interests, or plans to go into the same area of research as what a professor is currently involved in. If it doesn't affect the way the teacher/prof grades the students' work, it's a good thing, not a bad thing. I've had more than one professor who did this sort of thing for me, when I got behind and needed help. I have one prof now who is working in developmental psychology research and knows lots of interesting things. I go to her office sometimes and ask her questions, and she doesn't mind.



This is how my relationship is like with my Psychology teacher. I even approached him about my suspicians on Aspergers before I approached my parents because I find him so easy to talk to. Parents, on the other hand, loathe it when I express my feeling to them, they find it wrong for some reason .


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09 Feb 2012, 12:36 pm

Shambles wrote:
Well, I'm not completly obsessed, more fascinated by this teacher. I don't find them attractive or anything, I'm just intrigued by their way of teaching and personality. He's the only teacher I can stay after class to talk to because he's such a comforting person ... He cares about everybody in the class and is not like a lot of other teachers who are just concerned about how much work you do. He actually cares about our well being, which I find amazing.

Also he seem to be one of the few people who make you feel great about yourself because he understands everyone is an individual and doesn't undermine you, other people do the complete opposite.

Some of the other students seem to be fond of him too so I dont think it's just me who finds him interesting! :D

I was wondering, has anybody ever felt this attached to someone who isn't a family member?


I swear this could have been me writing this in high school. I had an art teacher exactly like how you describe and I was (and still am) very close to him. Just the other week we met up to have lunch and catch up on each others' lives. It was wonderful. Consider yourself very lucky to have a teacher like this. They make a huge impact on your life and if you ever get the chance, be sure to let him know that. They love hearing it from their students.



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09 Feb 2012, 12:47 pm

I used to have "hero worship" of people when I was younger. I had those nonromantic "crush" type things on a couple of teachers from my school, and doctors that I knew from my mothers work. The last one I had was in my early 20s when I worked at the hospital. It was on a lady doctor who I worked with and I ended up working for her in her office and as a personal assistant type thing for a while. I really looked up to her and wanted to be like her, but deep down inside I knew that for some reason I never could be. I think she picked up on it and knew that I had the "hero worship" going on, because she was exceptionally nice to me, and very patient with me, and never talked down to me or showed any sign of having a problem with some of my quirks and difficulties that I still had then. I wasn't the only one who looked up to her though. Lots of girls in the unit looked up to her, although just as many didn't like her at all.


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alexi
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09 Feb 2012, 2:51 pm

Shambles wrote:
Consider yourself very lucky to have a teacher like this. They make a huge impact on your life


Couldn't agree more. I know that a couple of teachers changed (and probably saved) my life in high school. They were always there for me and made me feel like I wasn't alone with my difficult (undiagnosed) existence.



Shambles
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09 Feb 2012, 5:20 pm

Hey everyone, thanks for all the replies so far :) I dont feel like such a wierdo anymore :D ... And I think this teacher has, as dramatic as it sounds, changed my life for the better by transforming my outlook on life as a.whole . . . Not all people are scary after all! :D


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10 Feb 2012, 8:20 pm

I've been quite attached to a few teachers, in both grade school and high school. They were always the ones who seemed to take a moment to acknowledge me as a person.

Callista wrote:
It's always teachers with you guys? I've only ever experienced it with people my own age, or thereabouts--at any rate, within ten years or so of my age.


When I was in high school, I would go through phases where I was very attached to people my own age or maybe a year or two older. Never younger. These were people who didn't really know me well, but I would watch them, and if I was in their vicinity and knew they were there, I would try and "impress" them, (which really was just me doing something silly or weird) I just admired them and wanted them to like me, or at least, notice me.

After I graduated from high school, I never experienced that again. I no longer seek out people my age to admire and emulate - in high school it was very unbalanced - I had no friends, but several people I admired and put on pedestals. Now as an adult I have a few friends, and I don't seem to go to extremes like that any more.


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