Tips on living with others for people on the spectrum

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Dots
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Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 972
Location: Ontario

11 Feb 2012, 11:37 pm

I am not living in a great place right now. I'm a university student and can't afford to live alone. What's common around here is that a house will be rented out by students, either a group of students getting together and signing a lease, or a landlord will rent each room out separately to people who don't know each other. Currently, I'm in the second situation.

In November, a guy moved into the house who is often very loud. He is an angry person and often yells angry profanities. Just today he had a phone conversation that mostly consisted of him yelling slurs and profanity at the person on the other end.

At first, I was afraid of this guy, but I find myself getting slightly desensitized as time goes on. Today, a few hours after his phone conversation I passed by him in the kitchen, and managed to ask him if everything was all right, because he had seemed angry earlier. (In reality, I didn't care so much, I was just trying to say, 'I heard you yelling. What gives?' but couldn't say those exact words without risking making him angry at me, which I don't want.) He said his mom was impossible and that's what was going on.

I have complained to the landlord several times about this guy, and one time even the cops visited (I didn't call them), but the landlord won't do anything about it.

Quite often when I'm intruded on by noise at this house, I retreat into music with headphones and stim, or lock myself in the bathroom and stim. The feeling of a hot shower calms me down. It's too cold outside to go for a walk.

Come May, I will move into a different house, but this time I will be living with friends, who I know will not yell profanities at all hours of the day and night. I'm looking forward to a calmer living place - and as an added benefit, over the summer I will have the entire house to myself.

I'm just looking for tips that others have gathered through their experiences of living with other people. Has anyone else been in a horrible situation like this? How do you get through it?


_________________
Transgender. Call me 'he' please. I'm a guy.
Diagnosed Bipolar and Aspergers (questioning the ASD diagnosis).

Free speech means the right to shout 'theatre' in a crowded fire.
--Abbie Hoffman


Tuttle
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Joined: 26 Mar 2006
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Location: Massachusetts

12 Feb 2012, 12:23 am

Discuss things like what temperature the apartment will be at, and whether there are any foods that people aren't okay with being around before you sign any lease.

If there are tasks that have to taking care of the living environment that you can't do, make those clear before hand.

Make sure you have a private spot to retreat to.