What's the problem with social isolation?

Page 1 of 2 [ 27 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Venerab1e1
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 6 Mar 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 278
Location: Kentucky USA

02 Mar 2012, 10:53 pm

Both my psychiatrist and psychologist keep making a big deal about my social isolation. They say it's a sign of mental illness. My question is why is it such a big deal, I'm physically capable of going out a talking to people if I wanted to. I just don't ever feel like doing so. Why does that in itself make me mentally ill?



enrico_dandolo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Nov 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 866

02 Mar 2012, 11:01 pm

I imagine it worries your psychiatrist because it is a symptom of several disorders. Many people I saw at that psychosis clinic qualified the periods where they isolated themselves as the worst, and said that the isolation was a reason for it; that when they felt better, they were also more outgoing, and that this was a reason for feeling better. They were happy in non-psychotic periods because they saw more people. I didn't understand this at all; and I no longer go there. If you don't have anything else, I wouldn't worry about it, really.

Otherwise, I think most people like being around others; it is seen as an important feature of happiness, which I find strange. Thus, it is not considered normal to be alone, and it is seen as a sign that something is not right. If you feel better alone, then I don't see why you shouldn't. I am much better by myself.



Cogs
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2012
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 852

02 Mar 2012, 11:15 pm

I think NTs have fundamentally different views on the importace of socialising, not being able to see it from an AS perspective I think they would percieve your lack of sociallising as concerning because they are viewing it from an NT point of view. I think NTs also value friends as 'social support' which is often considered to be important for effective coping in life. I was told the five fundamental things for helping myself are: good food, sleep, exercise, relaxation and people.



Venerab1e1
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 6 Mar 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 278
Location: Kentucky USA

02 Mar 2012, 11:16 pm

enrico_dandolo wrote:
I imagine it worries your psychiatrist because it is a symptom of several disorders. Many people I saw at that psychosis clinic qualified the periods where they isolated themselves as the worst, and said that the isolation was a reason for it; that when they felt better, they were also more outgoing, and that this was a reason for feeling better. They were happy in non-psychotic periods because they saw more people. I didn't understand this at all; and I no longer go there. If you don't have anything else, I wouldn't worry about it, really.

Otherwise, I think most people like being around others; it is seen as an important feature of happiness, which I find strange. Thus, it is not considered normal to be alone, and it is seen as a sign that something is not right. If you feel better alone, then I don't see why you shouldn't. I am much better by myself.


I'm already being treated for psychosis with antipsychotic drugs and I still have no desire to socialize with others. I agree that most people need to socialize to be happy but I just seem to lack that trait. 8)



Alexender
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jan 2012
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,194
Location: wrongplanet

02 Mar 2012, 11:17 pm

Whenever I socially isolate myself that means I am depressed.
As in they are probably concerned about that with you. Now most people (including most people with autism) like to be social, to an extent. I have read that some people with autism are fine with no interaction with other people. I do not know if that is healthy though. Bunch of studies show that you live a longer healthy life if you interact with other people often. "Humans are social beings"

edit- I meant (for i don't know if that is healthy) that for certain people with autism it might be okay, but I do not know



enrico_dandolo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Nov 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 866

02 Mar 2012, 11:19 pm

Venerab1e1 wrote:
I'm already being treated for psychosis with antipsychotic drugs and I still have no desire to socialize with others. I agree that most people need to socialize to be happy but I just seem to lack that trait. 8)

Hum. Then I wish you good luck. The people I saw treated every symptom-like feature as an urgent danger that needed eradicating.

The important question is: are you satisfied?



Venerab1e1
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 6 Mar 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 278
Location: Kentucky USA

02 Mar 2012, 11:20 pm

Cogs wrote:
I think NTs have fundamentally different views on the importace of socialising, not being able to see it from an AS perspective I think they would percieve your lack of sociallising as concerning because they are viewing it from an NT point of view. I think NTs also value friends as 'social support' which is often considered to be important for effective coping in life. I was told the five fundamental things for helping myself are: good food, sleep, exercise, relaxation and people.


I like good food, sleep, and relaxation but I'm not big on exercise, or people :)



Venerab1e1
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 6 Mar 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 278
Location: Kentucky USA

02 Mar 2012, 11:22 pm

enrico_dandolo wrote:
Venerab1e1 wrote:
I'm already being treated for psychosis with antipsychotic drugs and I still have no desire to socialize with others. I agree that most people need to socialize to be happy but I just seem to lack that trait. 8)

Hum. Then I wish you good luck. The people I saw treated every symptom-like feature as an urgent danger that needed eradicating.

The important question is: are you satisfied?


I'm very satisfied.



Venerab1e1
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 6 Mar 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 278
Location: Kentucky USA

02 Mar 2012, 11:27 pm

Alexender wrote:
Whenever I socially isolate myself that means I am depressed.
As in they are probably concerned about that with you. Now most people (including most people with autism) like to be social, to an extent. I have read that some people with autism are fine with no interaction with other people. I do not know if that is healthy though. Bunch of studies show that you live a longer healthy life if you interact with other people often. "Humans are social beings"

edit- I meant (for i don't know if that is healthy) that for certain people with autism it might be okay, but I do not know


I seem to be the opposite as you, I get depressed and anxious when I'm forced to interact with others.



Alexender
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jan 2012
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,194
Location: wrongplanet

02 Mar 2012, 11:29 pm

That might be overstating it. If I am forced to interact with people I will get anxious. But if I know the situation well and the people then I can like it



enrico_dandolo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Nov 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 866

02 Mar 2012, 11:41 pm

I normally get anxious and unsatisfied when I am forced into social situation, but I still appreciate it when it happens on my own, limited terms. (Quite tautological, really: I am satisfied with social situations when I am satisfied with social situations, and I am not when I am not.) When I am more depressed and anxious in general, I will tend to actively avoid it at all cost, and be anxious whenever I feel someone else's presence. However, I won't become depressed because of social contact. It is just that other people are at all times a toll on me, and that sometimes what I get from it will be worth that toll; but when I am already anxious for other reasons, it will not, as it would overwhelm my momentarily low capacities.

Venerab1e1 wrote:
I'm very satisfied.

That should be enough.



glider18
Supporting Member
Supporting Member

User avatar

Joined: 8 Nov 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,031
Location: USA

03 Mar 2012, 12:04 am

For me I go to work and obviously interact with my fellow workers and the students I work with---but that is work and not friends in the typical sense. I come home and it is me with my family. That's my social life. I do not go out with friends mainly because I don't have friends. Do I want friends? I actually don't think about it---so I guess I don't want friends---I don't need friends. I don't need that kind of social life. I have my interests as my friends. That makes me happy along with my family. When I am forced into a lot of social interaction I find my anxiety increasing due to the awkwardness of socializing. People think of me as highly different/ eccentric so I don't normally fit in anyway. I see nothing wrong with not socializing. I had a very happy/ relaxing day last Monday when I was home from work on my own in the quiet house. I worked around getting laundry caught up. It really made me feel better for the rest of this week at work. But I don't like a lot of time to myself anymore because I love and need my family. Everyone must answer this for themself. But for me, I do not require socializing because it is not a mental illness in me. And I am happy without socializing because getting into social situations stresses me out. I will take my interests instead of those friends.


_________________
"My journey has just begun."


Nim
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Sep 2008
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,510
Location: Away

03 Mar 2012, 12:11 am

Since Christmas I've been unemployed due to issues derived from Asperger traits. I visit my mom briefly and my sister/niece from around 7pm-8pm maybe 3 times a week. I go out to get food/or a starbuck's. And I've visited my dad three times (about 6 hours each), and went with a old boss for a day.

Thats the majority of my socializing, for 2 months... lol.

This isn't abnormal for me, nor does it make me go crazy. I simply stay home and stay interested in my own endeavor's, and the "social" aspects of life and relationships are just a bit of a foreign land to me. When compared to my sister who will scream she needs to go out and will freak out if she can't. You see a clear difference between aspie and NT senses of stability. Where a NT needs more and more social activity's to offset their life, I need mild social contact (an hour every couple days) to remain stable... and the rest of the time I prefer to be alone, and am quite happy.

I know to improve my life for the better I need people in it to help me move forward. But including people in my life seems to just cause issues like drama, irritation, crying, and fighting. But that would probably be your issue with social isolation, because if your by yourself you never actually tend to make great strides forward. You just remain in isolation. But in "social isolations" defense I'd like to add that I know a NT recently who has mental health issues who isolated himself/sold his stuff/got on drugs.. He simply went crazy alone by himself... completely insane. Now he's in a rehab and around people which seems what he does best with.

P.S .. I do wish I had more of a social life.



eigerpere
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 371

03 Mar 2012, 12:30 am

I would love to be able to have friends. I just don't have the skills to form and likewise maintain the relationships.



namaste
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,365
Location: Hindustan

03 Mar 2012, 12:41 am

Venerab1e1 wrote:
Both my psychiatrist and psychologist keep making a big deal about my social isolation. They say it's a sign of mental illness. My question is why is it such a big deal, I'm physically capable of going out a talking to people if I wanted to. I just don't ever feel like doing so. Why does that in itself make me mentally ill?


definitely lacking socially is a sign of mental illness

In my office everyone is able to make friends, call up each other, chat on facebook, visit each others home and have fun...
except me i am unable to make close friends, they do talk with me thats about it.

Because of this i face lot of problems i dont understand things happening in the office, most of the time I am left out,
Many of my colleagues are freely talking with senior management and top officials which helps them get promotion, raise
etc but I cant talk with anyone that way.

Also when i dont understand social cues like i had started a business where all were fooling me, alcoholics would walk into my house
and tell lies etc. because of lack of social knowledge i have been cheated several times and its getting dangerous to live in isolated way.

I am not in touch with my mother, brother, cousins anybody they are psychotic and cause lot of harm..........obviously i cant go about
trusting strangers also so its like a alien world out there for me and if i could build a safe social circle of atleast 3-4 people then I am secure and safe


_________________
The only thing right in this wrong world is
WRONG PLANET


Alohilani
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 81
Location: The northern capital

03 Mar 2012, 12:52 am

Nim wrote:

This isn't abnormal for me, nor does it make me go crazy. I simply stay home and stay interested in my own endeavor's, and the "social" aspects of life and relationships are just a bit of a foreign land to me. When compared to my sister who will scream she needs to go out and will freak out if she can't. You see a clear difference between aspie and NT senses of stability. Where a NT needs more and more social activity's to offset their life, I need mild social contact (an hour every couple days) to remain stable... and the rest of the time I prefer to be alone, and am quite happy.


That pretty much sums it up for me, too.
I don't have the desire to go out and meet people.... Most of the time I only leave my house because I have to go to work or I need to buy food for my pets (too bad the veggie man doesn't do home delivery). I have friends though, but our contact is mostly limited to chat and text. They have different interests, they must go out every other day or they would go crazy. Many times they would ask me.. but I'd decline (inventing some reason why I cannot go out meet them... mhh) I'd be totally satisfied if I can meet my friends once a month for one afternoon, 4 hours, that's enough. I do talk to my roommates though.. I choose to interact with them, up to a certain point. Then I'd just go to my room and be with myself.

I don't feel isolated. To me this 'socially isolated' thingie is some kind of construct the NT world made up for people who just don't need other people to be happy, or content. or both.