Unfair Discrimination Against Aspie's

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I have very excellent aspie radar. I was at Stater Brothers a grocery store here in Southern California. The groceries were being checked out and the grocery bagging girl happened to be a young aspie girl. I thought she bagged everything just fine and she was courteous. My mom just plain did not like her, she spent maybe a minute or two putting her down. Even when we went home she spent anther 40 seconds putting her down. This aspie girl my NT mom put down was someone she never meet before and did nothing wrong. The meeting was very brief.

My point in this is there are some people who just do not like aspies. No matter what the aspie does, does not do, looks like, expressions they will find something wrong. And worse these random reasons will be a justification for all manner of unfair and cruel treatment. This might be around 15% or so people out in the real world, a little higher for women (my guess). I have noticed certain NT women can backstab an aspie girl to death in an office settings.

I have run across this several times. These situations can be very hard to deal with if you are in a weaker position, especially if it involves your livelihood and the person is a boss. No matter what you do it will be wrong. It can get crazy, like the boss and there NT buddies could be robbing the company blind, sleeping all day, etc and the boss would try to fire you for being 10 seconds late. There may say stuff like "I cant quite put my finger on it" really they cant find anything wrong because you do everything right but it does not matter you are still wrong even if there is no reason.

Anyone have these kinds of experiences?

Your story from the supermarket is sad... I hope the girl was ok!

I don't know if this is the same, but the majority of people I meet don't seem to like me. Even if I try to be nice. It was pretty bad at school, a lot of this "backstabbing" happened (people who I thought were my friends talking badly about me behind my back and me finding out about it later. Either through someone else telling me or just from their own admission of it to my face when they finally get so tired of me), but I just figured this was normal... is it not?

Anyway I sort of don't bother trying to make friends anymore. It always ends this way.

The aspie girl was just fine, it was a two minute encounter. What got me is she did nothing unusual yet got harshly judged for no apparent reason, I though it very strange, but I know this kind of thing happens. Also not all people feel this way many will very much like aspies for being themselves.

That sucks. When I was younger I took that kind of stuff to heart, and would try so hard to do better or make it right, but that only ever made things worse. I feel bad for that girl.

The best way of putting it I saw from someone on here. They said that it's like having a "psychic bad smell." It affects people, but subconsciously. They don't even know why they don't like you, they just know that they don't. Maybe it's more like (metaphorically) psychic pheromones, like the kind that makes ants or bees swarm to attack an enemy.

And then you get to notice all the crap that people who can produce the right 'pheromones' can get away with, and it's mind-boggling.

Ah well, such is life on planet Earth. (When's that spaceship gonna get here to pick me up, already?)

I have read, that in general dogs LOATHE coyotes (and vice versa) because even though the two are very similar in appearance, to a dog the body language of a coyote is just 'off' enough that it agitates the dog. Sort of like the animal version of the Uncanny Valley, I guess. That 'familiar but not quite right' feeling is upsetting to them, in other words.

I think that perhaps this is why some NTs have a knee-jerk dislike to people with Aspergers. Our social signals are often just 'off' enough that it makes them uncomfortable, though they can't articulate why.

Well, if they think I'm uncanny-valley, then I'm allowed to think that about them, too. I'm a human being, even if I do act odd.

Or, y'know, we could all just think a bit more rationally and realize that that odd person over there hasn't done anything wrong, and that eccentricity never hurt anybody.

You'd think that would be obvious to everyone, but it seems not. I've never understood judgmental people, myself.

Just out of interest, what bad things was your mother saying?

And Megymegan, I've also seen this kind of 'backstabbing' among friends, though haven't had it directed at me (to my knowledge). For some reason it seems to happen among women more than among men, in my experience anyway.

Oh, I hate stuff like that. Alex wrote about her preschool teacher in one of the articles and I could totally relate. One of my preschool teachers really just hated me. Or Biology teacher, year 9. He basically said I am bad at Biology and so that I won't be disappointed later on (because I am so naive, he didn't have to spell it out for me), he gave me an E on my report. You could argue that I was bad at Biology, but I made an effort. He probably could have given me a D, but he decided against it. He treated me as if I didn't deserve to be on a grammar school because I suck in his lessons. Oh well, I didn't do Biology in my final two years and I got good marks in Physics. I don't care how much he wanted to keep me from a good future. I passed my A levels with a good B average. Not enough to get me into university in Berlin, but I at least managed to get in somewhere else. Stuff like this constantly tears at my now-non-existent confidence about my academic work.

I hate how certain people find you wrong as a person. What gives them the right to do that? Ugh... This society is not a nice place to be. Do not show the way you are. Hide behind a facade.

Also, I worked at a book store and on several occasions customers made me feel really bad because I did not do everything perfectly well. I know the owners tried to calm me down and that those people were not worth getting upset about, but they all were the kind of people that I despise. It also gets worse the higher their class background is. Because certain middle class people will not accept you because you are weird and odd and you do not adapt.

And yes, it usually is NT women rather than men who do that. Simply because women are expected to take care of social conventions. Men mainly earn money. Women are also all about education and raising children. It's no surprise to me that it's mostly women who despise me.

Judgmental people = the stuff that pond scum eats (consider what happens to what pond scum eats after it's been eaten).

OP: you say you have good Aspie radar. Great. Scan above the pond scum and people like that won't even show up on your radar anymore.

It's a peaceful life if you can learn to totally ignore and avoid the crap.

Then people wonder why I put myself down all the time....

I've seen this too. It's very weird. They construct stories in their head to make sense of it and I can't imagine how that works, which bothers me. NTs are very commonly insane.

I think a lot of NTs don't even know why they dislike aspies most of the time they probably aren't even aware the person has Aspergers, they just sense something different , which inturn triggers an instinctive dislike

This really has nothing to do with aspies, and is this radar anything like gaydar? Seriously I bet it's not as good as you think it is. If you ask allot of females about working with females, you will see it's nothing to do with it & should a aspie really be working on a checkout, when you got to do that bs of greeting, friendly & upbeat unless you live in Tallinn.

If you can't take flak don't work on a checkout. As they will rip your head off even if they only projecting thing's at others.

& I keep trying to pick you up Joe90

Exactly what I think. The kind of person who always dislikes me, is the "fake strong woman". Not a true strong woman, but a b1tch who tries to make her social status higher by trying to prove others wrong or attack them, and thinks of people like me as scum.

For the most part, it seems like men are mostly indifferent to me. The ones who aren't indefferent seem to perceive me as some kind of threat.

As far as women go, I get extremes. Either they instantly trust me almost completely, or they instantly despise me.