AS or NT? Confused.
16 Mar 2012, 5:23 am
Hi,
I'm aware people have probably written posts like this one before, so please bear with me.
I'm 21 years old and I suspect I might have Asperger's. I've felt different my whole life and the fact that I'm not sure why drives me crazy. Anyway, here are some of the things which make me feel weird in comparison to other people (quite a long list, sorry):
- I find it difficult to keep a conversation going if I'm talking to someone I don't know or barely know. I'm not sure how to act or what to say in those situations. I think small talk is very unnecessary and I'm really not good at it.
- I have difficulties looking people I don't know in the eye.
- I only have one interest/hobby at a time and I get completely absorbed in it. Right now I'm very much into Astrophysics so I do everything I can in order to gather as much information about it as possible. I read books about it, I watch documentaries, I listen to radio programmes, I think about it and I talk about it. People sometimes say I talk about the same stuff very often.
- I do the same things every day and routines make feel safe. I can't function well without planning. I have to know what's going to happen beforehand. I plan everything. If my routines are interrupted or if someone make me change what I've planned I get really annoyed and angry. I don't handle change well. It makes me feel very unsafe and a bit depressed at times.
- I'm a perfectionist. I do thing thoroughly which I think can make me seem quite slow. Not mentally slow, but just slow. Also, I hate mess. And if someone moves my stuff from the place where they're supposed to be or if someone just makes a mess at home I get angry.
- I hate talking on the phone with strangers. If I HAVE to call a stranger I need to write down everything I want to say and if that changes during the phone call I get all confused.
- I'm quite sensitive to sounds. Some specific sounds (like for example people breathing loudly, ticking clocks and beeping alarms) but also noise in general. Too much noise and I get angry or my brain simply "shuts down". I'm only sensitive to touch when I'm really tired or annoyed.
- I have a hard time making up stories and pretending.
- I sometimes find it difficult to express the correct feelings in certain situations. My birthday is an example of that. Then people expect me to show feelings of joy and thankfulness. I might be really happy and thankful but I hate having to show feelings just because it's expected of me. It's difficult to do so. In general people often think I'm sad or angry even when I'm not. Apparently I don't smile enough.
- I need specific instructions in order to get things done. If someone asks me to do something I need to know what to do, when to do it, how to do it and for how long I'm supposed to do it before I can even get started.
- I'm very sensitive to stress and I worry a lot. About everything.
I know it's very difficult to say "hey, you've got/haven't got Asperger's". But do you think these "symptoms" are enough to consider getting a professional diagnosis?
Thanks
Last edited by rebbieh on 16 Mar 2012, 10:14 am, edited 1 time in total.
16 Mar 2012, 6:03 am
Well, I think I'd recommend, say, the Aspie test, first. Then, consider the pros & cons of getting a diagnosis. Do you need help you can only get with one? Otherwise, I'd advise against getting anything official. I'd say you're pretty likely an Aspie bu that's just IMHO.
_________________
The answer to the question "what is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything" is - what is the question!?
I'm not mad, it's everybody else!
www.zomgreloaded.com
16 Mar 2012, 6:56 am
Which Aspie test are you referring to? The Baron-Cohen one? My score there is 34. "Scores over 32 are generally taken to indicate Asperger's Syndrome or high-functioning autism, with more than 34 an 'extreme' score." But online test aren't that dependable, are they?
Anyway, the pros of getting a diagnosis (and also the main reason for me wanting one) would be to confirm there's a reason for me feeling so different. Also, if I ever feel I need help I could get it if I have the diagnosis on paper. However, I'm quite scared of going to a psychiatrist since I sometimes think they might just tell me I'm imagining it all. That it's all in my head. I mean, what if it is?
16 Mar 2012, 7:10 am
Hi,
I can relate to alot of what you discribe, I think I have AS but I havent had a diagnosis.
I can recommend the aspie quiz :
http://rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php
Its got more questions that the other one, and it gives you a pdf file explaining the results in detail that I found very useful.
Hope this helps.
Oh an my aspie quiz score was :
Your Aspie score: 148 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autisic) score: 50 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie.
16 Mar 2012, 7:14 am
Yep.....I'd guess you're one of us, from your description of your traits, but to be more certain you'd need to take the online tests and then get a professional diagnosis.....even then, you won't be absolutely sure, because the diagnosis is still a very subjective thing. But it's hard to see how you could have all those Aspie traits and yet be neurotypical.
I see my AS diagnosis as mostly a legal thing these days. It helps to keep my employer from putting pressure on me in ways I couldn't handle, like forcing me to multi-task and muck in with the crowd, or to obey woolly instructions. It doesn't do much else.
Frankly I've ceased to care whether I "really have AS" or not. Instead, I focus on the individual traits, because they are the only thing that matters. The traits I have are real, observable, and quantifiable. AS might disappear from the diagnostic manuals, but my traits will still be just as real. AS is just a bundling of a number of traits that apply to me surprisingly often, which conveniently gives me a lot of hints as to what parts of my mental state I might do well to explore.
16 Mar 2012, 7:44 am
I see my AS diagnosis as mostly a legal thing these days. It helps to keep my employer from putting pressure on me in ways I couldn't handle, like forcing me to multi-task and muck in with the crowd, or to obey woolly instructions. It doesn't do much else.
Frankly I've ceased to care whether I "really have AS" or not. Instead, I focus on the individual traits, because they are the only thing that matters. The traits I have are real, observable, and quantifiable. AS might disappear from the diagnostic manuals, but my traits will still be just as real. AS is just a bundling of a number of traits that apply to me surprisingly often, which conveniently gives me a lot of hints as to what parts of my mental state I might do well to explore.
So you don't think I could just be imagining the whole thing? I think the main reason I doubt is because my parents don't think I've got AS. I just want to know for sure so I can stop thinking about it all the time.
16 Mar 2012, 7:50 am
I see my AS diagnosis as mostly a legal thing these days. It helps to keep my employer from putting pressure on me in ways I couldn't handle, like forcing me to multi-task and muck in with the crowd, or to obey woolly instructions. It doesn't do much else.
Frankly I've ceased to care whether I "really have AS" or not. Instead, I focus on the individual traits, because they are the only thing that matters. The traits I have are real, observable, and quantifiable. AS might disappear from the diagnostic manuals, but my traits will still be just as real. AS is just a bundling of a number of traits that apply to me surprisingly often, which conveniently gives me a lot of hints as to what parts of my mental state I might do well to explore.
So you don't think I could just be imagining the whole thing? I think the main reason I doubt is because my parents don't think I've got AS. I just want to know for sure so I can stop thinking about it all the time.
You certainly seem to have AS traits. No one thinks I have it either (I have been questioning for more than two years). But, TBH, the general population does not really understand AS. What does your family think of you? How about your friends or acquaintances? My parents have called me weird to my face, my brothers think I'm weird, my friends call me "quirky" and others seem to think I say inappropriate things which I don't think are inappropriate.
_________________
Your Aspie score: 161 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 55 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
16 Mar 2012, 7:58 am
Well, to be honest I haven't lived with my parents for 3 years and even when I did I wasn't exactly open about private life and how I felt. My mum just knows I'm thinking about Asperger's and when I told her she just said "I don't think you've got it. You're probably just an introvert thinking too much." My boyfriend and the very few friends I've got think I'm smart and quite geeky with weird habits and some compulsive behavior (for example I can't stand it if a deck of cards isn't really neat and in perfect order while we play cards and I always have to walk the same way when walking to a certain place etc). So they say I'm weird but that's mostly said in a friendly way. I don't have acquaintances. I have close friends or nothing. Or, I might have people I consider friends but they might consider me an acquaintance. Not sure. Does that make sense?
Last edited by rebbieh on 18 Mar 2012, 4:09 am, edited 1 time in total.
16 Mar 2012, 8:02 am
http://rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php
Its got more questions that the other one, and it gives you a pdf file explaining the results in detail that I found very useful.
Yes, with its far out references to hunting and traps. The creator of the quiz also has a pet theory about Neanderthals to push as well as other some other rather odd ideas about race. Very useful indeed
16 Mar 2012, 8:04 am
Look up Schizoid Personality "Disorder" as well. I only mention this because of your high NT score on the Aspie quiz (that's not to say it's completely accurate). Otherwise, your description is characteristic of AS or PDD-NOS, etc. I received a diagnosis and am currently doing Cognitive Behaviour Therapy with the psychologist. Though I don't find it massively useful, it is nice to have somebody to talk to who understands the Autism Spectrum. The diagnosis itself was more for closure than anything, and to have something official on file if I ever need it.
When you answer any diagnostic questions, try to think about them as hard as you can to reduce confirmation bias.
Don't go to a psychiatrist unless you want to be dosed up on medication and recline on a divan.
Last edited by sfreyj on 16 Mar 2012, 8:24 am, edited 6 times in total.
16 Mar 2012, 8:07 am
Well, to be honest I haven't lived with my parents for 3 years and even when I did I wasn't exactly open about private life and how I felt. My mum just knows I'm thinking about Asperger's and when I told her she just said "I don't think you've got it. You're probably just an introvert thinking too much." My boyfriend and the very few friends I've got think I'm smart and quite geeky with weird habits and some compulsive behavior (for example I can't stand it if a deck of cards isn't really neat and in perfect order while we play cards and I always have to walk the same way when walking to a certain place etc). So they say I'm weird but that's mostly said in a friendly way. I don't have acquaintances. I have close friends or nothing. Does that make sense?
I am like that as well. I don't have very many close friends. I have people I consider acquaintances, though they probably consider ME as a friend.
If the people around you notice your odd behavior and think you are weird then you probably are! Hahaha. But, seeing as how you're female (and me too) these kinds of traits are more cute than crazy.
_________________
Your Aspie score: 161 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 55 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
16 Mar 2012, 8:14 am
Which Aspie test are you referring to? The Baron-Cohen one? My score there is 34. "Scores over 32 are generally taken to indicate Asperger's Syndrome or high-functioning autism, with more than 34 an 'extreme' score." But online test aren't that dependable, are they?
Anyway, the pros of getting a diagnosis (and also the main reason for me wanting one) would be to confirm there's a reason for me feeling so different. Also, if I ever feel I need help I could get it if I have the diagnosis on paper. However, I'm quite scared of going to a psychiatrist since I sometimes think they might just tell me I'm imagining it all. That it's all in my head. I mean, what if it is?
Huh. Diagnosis isn't that reliable, more like. Bear in mind it's not just the accuracy of the criteria, which are complex, on their own but involve deep knowledge & understanding of Autism/ Aspergers & all the ways it affects people, etc. And, once you've got it on your record, you can't get it taken off. Your parents probably don't want their darling daughter to be other than 'perfect' or something like that & probably don't really know that much about it, anyway. IMHO
_________________
The answer to the question "what is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything" is - what is the question!?
I'm not mad, it's everybody else!
www.zomgreloaded.com
16 Mar 2012, 8:27 am
When you answer any diagnostic questions, try to think about them as hard as you can to reduce confirmation bias.
Don't go to a psychiatrist unless you want to be dosed up on medication and recline on a divan.
Yeah I've read a bit about Schizoid as well and some stuff "fits" but most of it don't. I personally think Asperger's is more likely than Schizoid. But it might not be either of them. This drives me crazy. I just want closure.
How does it work to get a diagnosis by the way?
16 Mar 2012, 8:33 am
What do you mean by "diagnosis isn't that reliable, more like". Why isn't it reliable?
Well, for me it's not about being perfect or anything. I mean, I like myself and I like my life. I just find it extremely frustrating that I've always felt different and I want to know if there's a reason for it. A diagnosis wouldn't change me. If I've got Aspergers, Aspergers is what have turned me into the person I am today. By the way, is it possible to have AS without having shown strong symptoms in early childhood?
16 Mar 2012, 8:41 am
The Aspie quiz is pretty good. You sure seem like an Aspie girl to me, from what you've said. Sure, although it's not supposed to get worse over time, it could (effectively) do so. Especially if a lot of your 'weirdness' wasn't too obvious, due to being things that you got into later in life? If you want to go for a diagnosis, don't let me stop you, then.
_________________
The answer to the question "what is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything" is - what is the question!?
I'm not mad, it's everybody else!
www.zomgreloaded.com
